Guide To Inviting Families To Your Wedding

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few options to consider. If you're sending an invitation to a family, you can choose to be specific about who is invited or keep it general. To be specific, list the names of each family member you're inviting, starting with the parents and then listing the children in order of age. If you want to keep it general, simply address the envelope to The [Last Name] Family.

If you're using both an outer and inner envelope, you can be more formal with the outer envelope and more casual with the inner one. The outer envelope will be more formal and include titles and complete names, while the inner envelope can include simple first names without titles.

Addressing the envelope

When sending out wedding invitations, it's important to consider how you address the envelopes. Here are some detailed instructions for addressing envelopes when inviting a family to a wedding:

Outer Envelope

The outer envelope is generally more formal. If you are inviting a family, you can address the envelope to the whole family, using "The [Family Name]" or "Mr. and Mrs. [Parent Name]". This implies that all family members, including children, are invited to the wedding.

Inner Envelope

The inner envelope is where you can be more specific about who is invited. If you want to specify which family members are invited, list their names, starting with the parents, followed by the children's names in order of age. You can use "Miss" for girls under the age of 18, but there is no parallel title for boys.

For example, the outer envelope might say "The Smith Family", while the inner envelope could list "John, Mary, Miss Emily, and Mark".

Formality and Titles

It is generally best to use titles and full names on the outer envelope, such as "Mr." and "Mrs.". On the inner envelope, you can be less formal and use first names only.

If you are inviting a married couple, you can use "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]", or you can include both names: "Mr. John and Mrs. Emily Smith". For unmarried couples living together, list the person you are closest to first, followed by their partner on a separate line.

Children and Plus-Ones

Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation. For younger children, if you don't list their names on the inner envelope, it is usually understood that they are not invited. However, be aware that some people may still assume their children are invited, so it is a good idea to clarify on your wedding website that children are not included.

If you are inviting plus-ones for any of the adult family members, you can include their names on the inner envelope if you know them. Otherwise, you can simply write "and guest".

Other Considerations

When addressing envelopes, avoid abbreviations and nicknames. Instead, use full names and titles. If you are inviting doctors, judges, clergy, or military personnel, use their appropriate titles.

Finally, give yourself plenty of time to assemble and mail the invitations, and don't forget to weigh them to ensure you have the correct postage!

Married couples

There are a few different approaches you can take when inviting a married couple to your wedding. Here are some options for both the inner and outer envelopes:

Married Couple With the Same Last Name

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional approach is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For a modern twist, you can include the wife's name as well:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" or "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple With Different Last Names

In this case, you would list each partner's full name and title on separate lines:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

Married Couple With One Hyphenated Last Name

When addressing a couple with a hyphenated last name, use the following format:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

Married Couple With Distinguished Titles

If one or both partners have a distinguished title, such as "Doctor", "Judge", or a military rank, this should be included in the address. The person with the distinguished title should be listed first, regardless of gender. If both partners have the same title, you can use "The Doctors":

Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Mr. Christopher Lee" or "The Doctors Smith"

Inner envelope: "Dr. Takata and Mr. Lee" or "The Doctors Smith"

Same-Sex Married Couple

For a same-sex married couple, you can follow a similar format as above, including both partners' full names and titles. Either name can go first:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Adam Acheson and Mr. Bruce Acheson" or "Mrs. Emma Miller and Mrs. Sophia Miller"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Adam and Mr. Bruce" or "Mrs. Emma and Mrs. Sophia"

Unmarried couples

When inviting unmarried couples to a wedding, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to address the invitation to both members of the couple by name, even if you are closer to one person than the other. This shows that you recognise them as a social unit and helps to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. For unmarried couples who live together, the traditional way to address the envelope is to write each name on a separate line, without using the word "and". This format indicates that the couple is not married. For example:

Mr. John Francis Smith, II

Ms. (or Miss) Anna Brown

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a separate invitation to each person. However, if you want to save on invitations, you can send one invitation to the person you are closest to and include "and guest" on the inner envelope for their partner. This method, however, may cause confusion if the couple breaks up before the wedding, so it is generally better to invite both people by name.

In terms of etiquette, it is important to be consistent when inviting unmarried couples. If you invite one unmarried couple as a social unit, it is best to do the same for all other unmarried couples to avoid causing offence. It is also a nice gesture to offer a plus one to single guests, but this is not mandatory.

Same-sex couples

When inviting a family to a wedding, it is important to consider the formality of your wedding and your relationship with the family members. Here are some tips and guidelines for same-sex couples when inviting families to their wedding:

• Outer Envelope Addressing: If you are inviting the entire family, a simple and elegant way to address the outer envelope is to write "The [Last Name] Family". This implies that all family members, including children, are invited to both the wedding ceremony and reception.
• Inner Envelope Details: If you are using an inner envelope, this is where you can provide more specific information about who is invited. On the inner envelope, include the names of the parents, followed by the names of their children below. For a more formal approach, traditional etiquette suggests using titles such as "Miss" for young girls and "Master" for boys under the age of thirteen.
• Informal Options: If you prefer a less formal approach, you can skip titles and last names altogether and use first names or even nicknames on the inner envelope. This adds a playful and personal touch to your invitations.
• Same-Sex Couples: When inviting same-sex couples, the etiquette varies depending on their marital status and whether they share the same last name. If the couple is unmarried, address each person individually on separate lines, just as you would with an opposite-sex unmarried couple. The order of the names is usually not important, but you can arrange them alphabetically if needed.
• Married Same-Sex Couples: For married same-sex couples, write both names on the same line, separated by "and". You can include titles such as "Mr." or "Mrs." before each name, especially if they have different last names. For couples with the same last name, you can use the plural form of the title, such as "The Messrs. [Last Name]" or "The Mesdames [Last Name]".
• Personalization: Remember that these are general guidelines, and you can always personalize your invitations based on your relationship with the family and your wedding's tone. You can ask the couple about their preferred greeting if you are unsure.

Inviting children

When it comes to inviting children to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, decide whether your wedding will be ""family-friendly" or "adults-only". This is a tricky question and tends to be a divisive topic, but it's important to make this decision early on before sending out invitations. If you choose to have an adults-only wedding, be prepared to ruffling some feathers, especially if you have close family members with children. On the other hand, having children at your wedding can present its own set of challenges, as they can be unpredictable and may increase your wedding budget.

If you decide to invite children, the next step is to determine which children will be included. It is generally recommended to stick to a clear rule, such as inviting only immediate family or setting an age limit. Communicate your decision clearly to your guests by addressing the invitation envelopes properly. If you are using both an outer and inner envelope, write the parents' names on the outer envelope and list each family member's name, including the children, on the inner envelope. If you are using only an outer envelope, you can address it to "The [Last Name] Family", indicating that the whole family is invited. Remember that any family member over 18, even if they live in the same household, should receive their own invitation.

When it comes to the wedding day, there are a few things you can do to accommodate the children and keep them entertained. Consider hiring a children's entertainer or providing tabletop activities such as puzzles or colouring sheets during the reception. You may also want to work with your catering team to create a simple kid-friendly menu. Another option is to set up a separate kids' room at the venue with babysitters, dinner service, movies, games, and other activities to keep them occupied.

Frequently asked questions