Wedding Etiquette: Parents' Names On Invitation

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky business. The host line, or opening line, of a wedding invitation names the hosts of the event, and traditionally, whoever hosts the ceremony (i.e., which family shoulders more of the expenses) goes on top, with the other set of parents below. However, as times change, new practices emerge, and couples can now add twists to traditional etiquette. For example, if both sets of parents are contributing equally, both can be written on the upper portion of the invitation. If the couple is hosting, the host line can be omitted.

Including both sets of parents

Formal Wording

If you are aiming for a more formal invitation, the traditional structure is to have the bride's parents mentioned first, followed by the groom's parents. For example:

"Mr. and Mrs. Jerry White, along with Mr. and Mrs. Vincent Callows, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Andrea Marie and Lucas Edward Callows..."

If you are including step-parents, you can name them individually or refer to them as your biological parent's spouse. For instance:

"Mr. and Mrs. Nolan Andrews-Butler, along with Mr. Bruno Walters and his spouse, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Simone Louise, to Paul Lima, son of Mr. and Mrs. Jose Lima..."

Informal Wording

For a more casual tone, you can use first names and a more conversational style. Here is an example:

"Kenzie and Jennifer Smith, along with Mark and Sally Reyes, invite you to share in the celebration of the marriage of their children, Olivia Rose and John Michael..."

Divorced Parents

If your parents are divorced, it is common to separate their names with a line break. For example:

"Mrs. Riley Larson, along with Mr. Jonathan Larson, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Emily Elizabeth, to Mark Brown, son of Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Brown..."

Deceased Parents

If you wish to honour a deceased parent, you can include a phrase such as "the late" after their name. For instance:

"Margaret Jane, daughter of Mr. Gianelli and the late Mrs. Gianelli, and Xavier Francis Stephens, son of Mr. and Mrs. Stephens, request the honour of your presence..."

Other Considerations

When including parents' names on wedding invitations, it is important to use full names and omit titles such as Dr. or Atty. However, suffixes like Sr., Jr., III, etc., should be included to distinguish parents from other relatives. Additionally, be mindful of the word "and" between two names, as it implies that those individuals are married. If your parents are divorced, use a line break instead.

Divorced parents

When it comes to wedding invitations, every family is unique, and you should ultimately do what feels right for you. However, if you want to follow traditional wedding invitation etiquette, here are some tips for addressing divorced parents:

Names on Separate Lines:

The basic rule of thumb is to list divorced parents' names separately, even if they both remain unmarried. This means avoiding the use of an "and" between their names, as this usually signifies marriage. For example:

> Ms. Sarah Smith

> Mr. John Smith

Mother's Name First:

Traditionally, the mother's name is listed first unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name would go first.

> Ms. Sarah Smith

> Mr. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Including Step-parents:

It is also acceptable to include step-parents on the invitation if they have played an important role in your life. In this case, you would list the step-parent's name on the same line as their spouse. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. John Smith

Both Parents Remarried:

If both parents are remarried, you can include their new spouses' names. Remember to keep the names of divorced parents on separate lines. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

If your divorced parents are jointly hosting the wedding, you can include both of their names in the hosting line. For example:

> Mrs. Michelle Wright and Mr. John Monroe

> request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Elizabeth Ann Monroe

No Parents Listed:

If you don't want to list any parents on the invitation, you can use a more general phrase such as "Together with their families".

> Together with their families

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Avery June Smith

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your family's unique situation. The most important thing is to do what feels right for you and your partner.

Remarried parents

When it comes to wedding invitations, the general rule is that the names of those who are hosting the wedding—usually the bride's parents—are listed at the top. However, this tradition is evolving, and nowadays, couples often add their own twist to the customary etiquette.

If your parents are remarried, you may want to include your step-parents on the invitation. This is especially thoughtful if your step-parents have played a significant role in your life. Here are some ways to word the invitation:

Including Step-Parents' Names

If you want to include your step-parents' names, you can list them alongside your biological parents, using their proper titles and full names. For example:

> "Mr. and Mrs. Nolan Andrews-Butler, along with Mr. Bruno Walters and his spouse, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Simone Louise, to Paul Lima, son of Mr. and Mrs. Jose Lima."

Using "Together with Their Parents"

If you prefer a more concise approach, you can use the phrase "together with their parents". This option is ambiguous enough to avoid offending anyone and is often used when multiple sets of parents are involved or when family dynamics are complicated. For instance:

> "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."

Listing Each Parent Separately

Another option is to list each parent separately, along with their respective partners, if applicable. This approach is particularly useful when dealing with divorced or remarried parents. For example:

> "Mr. John Michael Smith and Mrs. Jane Johnson request your presence at the wedding of their daughter, Mary Smith, to Mr. Robert Johnson, son of Mr. and Mrs. Johnson."

Honouring a Deceased Parent

If one of your parents has passed away, you can still include their name on the invitation as a way to honour their memory. Simply add the word "late" before their name. For instance:

> "The late Mr. Gianelli and Mrs. Gianelli request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Margaret Jane, to Xavier Francis Stephens, son of Mr. and Mrs. Stephens."

Remember, modern wedding invitation etiquette offers flexibility and personalisation. The most important thing is to reflect your family structure and dynamics accurately and in a way that feels right for you and your partner. It is always a good idea to have open and honest discussions with your family about their preferences and any sensitivities that may arise.

Deceased parents

If you have lost a parent, you may want to find special ways to honour their memory on your wedding day. One way to do this is to include their name on your wedding invitation. However, it can be tricky to know how to word your invitations in this situation, and you may have many questions.

If one of your parents has passed away, it is perfectly acceptable to list the surviving parent as the single host of the event. You can also describe yourself as "the child of Mr John Smith and the late Anne Smith".

If you would like to include both your parents on the invitation, despite one being deceased, you can use the following phrasing:

> "The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of their daughter, [Bride's name], daughter of the late [mother's name] and [father's name] to [Groom's name], son of [Groom's parents' names]."

If both your parents are deceased, you could ask another family member to host the wedding. For example:

> "Mrs Anne Smith invites you to the marriage of her niece, [Bride's name], daughter of the late [parents' names] to [Groom's name], son of [Groom's parents' names]."

However, some people feel that the invitation is not the appropriate place to include deceased parents' names. They suggest that a wedding program or another place to honour their memory is more suitable. For example, you could include a note or poem in the program, or place a white rose on the altar.

Host line

The host line is the opening line on a wedding invitation and names the host(s) of the event. If multiple parties are hosting, you only need to include names if you're going for a formal feel. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, this line can be omitted.

Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and are named at the top of the invitation. However, including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option, regardless of who is paying. For example:

> "Kenzie M. Smith and Jennifer L. Smith Mark Franklin and Mary Elizabeth Reyes request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four in the afternoon at [venue name and address] Reception to follow."

If it's a collaborative affair hosted and paid for by the couple and both sets of parents, you can also use:

> "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."

If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can include them all, keeping each parent on a separate line. If you're going to include the name of a stepparent, keep it on the same line as their partner. For example:

> "Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory and Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner and Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland 01.06.18 | 4 p.m. Our Lady Queen of Angels Catholic Church Newport, California Reception immediately after."

If you want to include the name of a parent who is deceased, you'll need to rearrange things a bit, as someone who has passed can't actually serve as a host. Try this, for example:

> "Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honor of your presence at their wedding on the fifth of May, two thousand seventeen at one o'clock in the afternoon The Reagan Library Simi Valley, California Dinner & dancing to follow Black tie required."

Frequently asked questions