Best Man's Speech: To Be Or Not To Be?

Being the best man at a wedding is a significant honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties of the best man is to deliver a speech that honours the groom and celebrates the couple's love. While this may seem daunting, with the right preparation and mindset, it can be an enjoyable experience for both the best man and the guests. In this article, we will explore the topic of best man speeches, providing tips and guidance on content, structure, and delivery to help you craft a speech that is both memorable and appropriate.

How to start

So, you've been chosen as the best man at a wedding—congratulations! Now it's time to write your speech. The best man's speech is typically given during the wedding reception and is an opportunity to honour the groom, celebrate the couple's love, and offer well-wishes for their future together. Here are some tips on how to start your speech and make it a success.

The ideal way to begin your speech is with a captivating introduction. This could be a humorous anecdote, a heartfelt compliment, or an inspiring quote about friendship or marriage. It's essential to express gratitude to those who made the wedding possible and to the groom for choosing you as his best man. Here are some examples of how to start:

• "Good evening, everyone. It's an honour to stand here today as [Groom's Name]'s best man. I'm thrilled to share a few words about a man who exemplifies loyalty and integrity."
• "I always knew [Groom's Name] would do something famous enough to get everyone he knows into one room. I just thought it would be on the news, not walking down the aisle!"
• "From childhood adventures to adult misadventures, I've had the privilege of knowing [Groom's Name] through it all. Tonight, I'm honoured to talk about my lifelong friend on his big day."
• "I was taught by my parents that if I had nothing good to say about someone, to sit down and be quiet..." (Sit down.)
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words—it's very touching that you still decided to come."

Other Tips for Starting Your Speech

• Keep it Short: Aim for around 3 to 7 minutes. This allows you to share meaningful stories without losing the audience's attention.
• Break the Ice: Begin with a light-hearted joke or icebreaker to warm up the guests and calm your nerves.
• Introduce Yourself: Share how you met the groom to establish a connection with everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well.
• Share a Story: Recount a memorable shared experience or a funny story about the groom to grab everyone's attention.
• Express Gratitude: Thank the groom for choosing you as his best man and for your friendship. Also, thank the bride for welcoming you into their lives and the guests for attending.
• Compliment the Couple: Highlight the groom's special qualities and shared moments, and compliment the bride, mentioning how beautiful she looks.

Who to thank

The best man's speech is a great honour, but it's also a big responsibility. It's an opportunity to celebrate your best friend and his wife, while entertaining the guests. In his speech, the best man typically thanks several key individuals and groups. These often include:

• The groom: For choosing him as the best man and for their friendship.
• The bride: For welcoming him into her and the groom's lives.
• The guests: For attending and celebrating the wedding.
• The parents of the bride and groom: For raising such wonderful individuals and for their support.
• The bridesmaids: For their support and help throughout the wedding.

These acknowledgements are a great way for the best man to show gratitude and respect to the important people involved in the wedding. It's also a good idea to thank the hosts, typically the bride's and groom's families, for organising the event.

Other Tips

• Keep it short: Aim for around 5-7 minutes.
• Be sincere: Speak from the heart.
• Stay appropriate: Avoid inside jokes, ex-partners, or anything too embarrassing.
• Practice: Rehearse your speech several times.
• Stay calm: Take deep breaths and remember that it's okay to be nervous.
• Break the ice: Start with a light-hearted joke or anecdote to warm up the guests and calm your nerves.
• Introduce yourself and your friendship: Share how you met the groom to establish your connection with the audience.
• Read out messages: Include some meaningful or funny messages from friends and family who can't be there.
• Share stories and anecdotes: Tell some amusing and thoughtful stories about the groom and the couple. Keep it friendly and respectful, and feel free to use props or photos to enhance your story.
• Give words of wisdom: Offer some light-hearted and sincere advice to the newlyweds.
• Praise the partner: Compliment the bride and reflect on your favourite things about her and their relationship.
• Acknowledge the bridal party: Thank the bridesmaids for their role and support.
• Conclude with a toast: Raise a glass to the couple and wish them a happy future.

What to include

Being chosen as the best man is a tremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities. The best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the groom, honour the couple's love, and offer well-wishes for their future together. Here's what to include in your speech:

Begin with a greeting to the guests and a brief introduction of yourself if necessary. You can start with a light joke, a thank you to the hosts, or a heartfelt expression about how honoured you feel to be part of the wedding. You could also share a quote, a funny anecdote, or a story of how you met the groom.

Stories and Anecdotes

Share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that reveal the groom's character and give insights into your relationship. Focus on the couple's relationship rather than yours with the groom. You can also include the groom's qualities, such as his kindness or adventurous spirit.

Acknowledging the Partner

Welcome the partner and acknowledge their positive impact on the groom. Talk about their exciting plans together, how the groom always sounds excited to talk about them, or how they've pushed him to become more responsible or outgoing.

End on a high note with a toast that looks to the couple's future. Invite the guests to raise their glasses and offer a simple, sincere wish for the couple's happiness, love, and future together.

Tips for a great speech

Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is a significant honour and a responsibility. It is customary for the best man to give a speech during the wedding reception. It is an opportunity to honour the groom, celebrate the couple's love, and offer well-wishes for their future together. Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable and engaging best man speech:

Preparation:

• Start by writing down all your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. This will help you gather ideas and ensure you don't forget anything important.
• Use a template as a guide. Most people have never given a best man speech before, so it's normal to feel unsure about where to start. A template can provide a helpful structure for your speech.
• Prepare your speech well in advance and practice as much as possible. Rehearse your speech multiple times to familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Practising in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help you refine your delivery.
• If you plan to memorise your speech, aim for an hour of practice time per minute of speech. This will help ensure you don't get stuck or lose your thread during the actual delivery.
• Alternatively, you can print out your speech or use bullet points/cue cards to refer to during your speech. Practise with these notes beforehand so you don't lose them, and remember to maintain eye contact with the audience while speaking.

Content:

• Begin with a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone for your speech. You can start by introducing yourself as the best man and sharing a light-hearted joke or a sincere expression of honour and joy for the couple.
• Share stories and anecdotes about the groom that highlight his character and give insights into your relationship. Choose stories that showcase the groom's positive qualities, such as his generosity, friendliness, loyalty, or sense of humour.
• Include the bride in your speech by acknowledging her positive impact on the groom. Talk about how she has changed him for the better, made him happier or more confident, or encouraged him to try new things.
• If the couple planned the wedding themselves, acknowledge their efforts and compliment the beauty and fun of the event.
• Avoid telling embarrassing stories or sharing need-to-know details that could cause problems for the couple or other guests. Keep the speech positive and tasteful.
• End your speech with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple. You can use a quote, an inside joke, or a simple toast to the newlyweds.

Delivery:

• Connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, and using hand gestures. Ensure your facial expressions add to the humour and warmth of your speech.
• Keep your speech concise and engaging. A best man speech is typically around 3-5 minutes long.
• Remember that the guests are there to celebrate and support you. They want you to succeed, so speak from the heart, and don't worry too much about being funny.
• Read the room and avoid offensive or embarrassing stories. Ask the groom about the vibe of the people attending so you can tailor your speech accordingly.
• Keep your speech inclusive and avoid inside jokes that most guests won't understand.
• Use humour wisely. Ensure your jokes are appropriate for all guests and won't embarrass the couple or other guests. Self-deprecating humour or light-hearted anecdotes about your friendship with the groom are generally safe choices.

What to avoid

A best man's speech is a great honour but a big responsibility. It's easy to overthink it, but the reality is that it's probably the easiest speech you'll ever give. The audience is on your side, and they all want to have fun. That said, there are a few pitfalls to avoid.

Inappropriate Jokes

It's important to read the room and avoid jokes that could offend guests or embarrass the couple. Steer clear of sensitive topics such as past relationships or family issues, and don't tell stories about the groom's ex or previous relationships. Keep it light and friendly, and don't be too edgy.

Negative Stories

Avoid stories that cast the groom or anyone else in a negative light. Even if you're roasting the groom, keep it playful and respectful. Focus on positive, heartfelt, and memorable moments.

Long-windedness

Keep the speech concise and to the point to maintain the audience's attention. Aim for around 5-7 minutes, which is enough time to tell meaningful stories without testing anyone's attention span.

Inside Jokes

Avoid jokes or references that only a few people will understand. You want to share your eye contact with the whole room, so everyone feels included.

Excessive Drinking

Don't drink too much before giving your speech to ensure you stay clear-headed. Dutch courage may be tempting, but it may also encourage you to go off-piste and ad-lib.

Frequently asked questions