Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Honor Vs. Honour

When it comes to wedding invitations, the wording can be a tricky task. One common dilemma is whether to use honour or honor when requesting the guest's presence. The decision often depends on the formality of the event and the location of the ceremony. Honour is typically used for formal or religious weddings held in a church or house of worship, as it is seen as a more formal and traditional spelling. On the other hand, honor is generally used for less formal or secular weddings held in other venues. While honour is the British spelling, Americans have historically used it on wedding invitations to convey formality. However, in modern times, couples have more flexibility in their choice of wording and can opt for whichever spelling they prefer, as both are considered correct.

Honour vs Honor

When it comes to wedding invitations, the use of "honour" or "honor" can be a tricky decision. While both spellings are correct, there are some nuances and traditions to consider. Here are some detailed paragraphs discussing the differences between the two:

"Honour" is typically used in the context of religious weddings, specifically when the ceremony takes place in a church or another formal house of worship. This spelling is seen as a way to show respect and deference to God and the sanctity of the venue. It is often considered the more formal and traditional option, especially in the context of weddings. "The honour of your presence" is a common phrase used on invitations to convey the importance and solemnity of the occasion.

On the other hand, "honor" is generally used for non-religious or secular weddings. "The honor of your presence" can also be used in this context, but it carries a slightly less formal tone. "Honor" is typically associated with modern, casual, or informal weddings, where the focus is on celebrating the union in a more relaxed setting. Using "honor" is particularly common in American English, where it is the standard spelling.

Some people also associate "honour" with formality and elegance, especially in the context of extremely formal events. It may be seen as a way to elevate the tone of the invitation and create a sense of sophistication. This is likely because the British spelling is often perceived as more formal or traditional by Americans. However, this perception is changing, and many modern couples opt for "honor" to match the tone of their wedding.

Ultimately, the decision to use "honour" or "honor" comes down to personal preference and the style of the wedding. Couples should feel free to choose the spelling that best represents their personalities and the atmosphere they wish to create for their special day. Etiquette books and traditional guidelines can provide some direction, but they are not hard and fast rules in the modern world of wedding planning. Consistency in spelling throughout the invitation suite is also important to maintain a cohesive look.

In summary, "honour" is traditionally associated with religious weddings and formal settings, while "honor" is more common in secular or casual contexts. However, these days, the line between the two is blurring, and couples have more freedom to choose the spelling that aligns with their vision for their wedding, regardless of the venue or level of formality.

Religious weddings

For religious weddings, it is customary to use "honour" when inviting guests to witness your marriage in a church or other religious house of worship. This is to show respect and deference to God, and to indicate that the wedding will be a formal religious ceremony.

> Anne Smith and Charles David Request the honour of your presence at the wedding ceremony in which their daughter Mary Claire and David Lawrence will become united as one in Christ on [date] at [time] [venue].

The British spelling "honour" is used almost exclusively to indicate a religious ceremony. However, it is also acceptable to use "honor" if you are having a religious wedding outside of a church or religious house of worship.

If you are having a religious wedding, you may also want to include Bible verses or other religious quotes on your invitations. Here are some examples:

• "This was the Lord’s doing; it is marvellous in our eyes." - Psalms 118:24
• "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." - Corinthians 13:4-8
• "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:2

Remember, the most important thing is to create a wedding invitation that represents you, your love, and your big day. Etiquette is just a guide, and you can feel free to riff off these principles to create something that is unique to you and your partner.

Formal weddings

For formal weddings, the use of "honour" or "honor" on your wedding invitations is largely dependent on the location of your ceremony and your personal preference.

If your wedding is taking place in a church or religious setting, it is customary to use "honour" in phrases such as "request the honour of your presence" or "honour of your presence." This spelling is seen as a way to show respect and deference to God when getting married in a place of worship. However, if your wedding is in a non-religious location, using the word "honor" is equally acceptable.

Another factor to consider is your geographical location. "Honour" is typically used in British and Canadian spelling, while "honor" is the standard American spelling. If you are in the US, it is generally recommended to use "honor" unless you are having a very formal or traditional wedding, in which case "honour" can be used to evoke a sense of formality and elegance.

Ultimately, the choice between "honour" and "honor" on your wedding invitations is a matter of personal preference and the level of formality you wish to convey. The most important aspect is to maintain consistency in your spelling throughout the invitation and other wedding stationery.

Secular weddings

The use of "honour" or "honor" in a wedding invitation is a matter of personal preference and depends on the wedding's location and formality. While "honour" is typically used for religious or church weddings, "honor" is more common for secular or non-religious weddings.

Now, let's discuss some traditions and rituals you can incorporate into your secular wedding ceremony:

Unity Candle Lighting Ceremony:

The unity candle lighting ceremony involves three candles – one for each partner and one to symbolise their new marriage. Before the ceremony, each set of parents lights a candle. The couple then uses these candles to light the larger candle together, sealing their union.

Sand Pouring Ceremony:

The sand pouring ceremony symbolises the blending of two lives. Each partner pours a different-coloured sand into a clear vessel after exchanging vows and rings. The mixed sand represents their future as one.

Tree Planting Ceremony:

Immediately after exchanging vows, the couple plants a small tree or shrub together in a pot, symbolising their growing relationship.

Handfasting Ceremony:

Handfasting is an ancient Celtic tradition symbolising the binding of two people. The couple joins hands, and the officiant wraps their hands with cords while reading vows. This ritual is followed by the exchange of rings.

Wine Box Ceremony:

In this ritual, each partner writes a love letter and places it, along with a bottle of their favourite wine, in a personalised box. The box is closed and not opened until their 5-year wedding anniversary.

Jumping the Broom:

Originated by African-Americans in the 1600s, when slaves were not allowed to marry, jumping the broom symbolises a new beginning and sweeping away the past.

Remember, these are just a few examples of the many rituals you can incorporate into your secular wedding. Feel free to choose the ones that resonate with you and your partner and don't be afraid to add your personal touches!

American vs British spelling

When it comes to American vs British English, there are some spelling differences that can be observed in wedding invitations. One such difference is in the spelling of the word "honor" or "honour". Here are some insights and guidelines on this topic:

The United States and the United Kingdom have some variations in spelling, and the words "honor" and "honour" are a result of these differences. "Honor" is the standard American spelling, while "honour" is the British or Canadian spelling. This distinction is not limited to wedding invitations and is a consistent variation between American and British English.

Tradition and Formality:

Historically, "honour" was considered more formal and elegant, and it was commonly used in wedding invitations, even in the United States. This tradition was influenced by the perception that British English was more formal and prestigious. As a result, "honour" was often chosen for wedding invitations to convey a sense of formality and tradition.

Religious Weddings:

The use of "honour" or "honor" can also depend on the type of wedding ceremony. "Honour" is typically used for religious or church weddings, as in "request the honour of your presence." This spelling is seen as a sign of respect and deference to God when the ceremony is held in a sacred place of worship. On the other hand, "honor" is generally used for secular or non-religious weddings.

Modern Trends:

Today, the choice between "honor" and "honour" is becoming more flexible. While some still associate "honour" with formality and tradition, others view it as pretentious or outdated. Modern couples often opt for "honor" to align with contemporary American spelling or choose "honour" to maintain a sense of tradition. Ultimately, the decision is a matter of personal preference, and both spellings are considered correct.

Consistency:

Regardless of the spelling chosen, it is essential to maintain consistency throughout the invitation and other wedding stationery. This ensures a polished and unified look for your wedding correspondence.

In conclusion, the American vs British spelling debate surrounding "honor" and "honour" has evolved over time. While tradition and formality once dictated the use of "honour," modern weddings embrace flexibility and personal expression. Couples can now choose the spelling that aligns with their values, beliefs, and the level of formality they wish to convey.

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