Guide To Addressing Wedding Invites: Etiquette And Tips

Wedding invitation wording is an important part of wedding planning. There are many nuances to consider when writing out your attendees' names, which depend on their relationship status, honorific titles, whether or not they're getting a plus one, and more. The traditional wedding invitation has both an outer mailing envelope and an inner envelope. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope only has the names of the invitees. When two envelopes are involved, the outside envelope is addressed more formally while the inside envelope is slightly more casual and frequently incorporates first names.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few options to consider, depending on the couple's preferences and the level of formality desired. Here are some detailed instructions for addressing invitations to married couples:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]", or both names can be included as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.

The inner envelope can be more informal, with options such as "Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]", or using their first names, e.g., " [Husband's Name] and [Wife's Name]".

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

When addressing a married couple with different last names, list their full names on the same line of the outer envelope, with "Mr." or "Mrs." included. The order of the names is flexible; either the husband or wife's name can come first.

Outer envelope: "Mrs. [Wife's Full Name] and Mr. [Husband's Full Name]"

Inner envelope: Similar to the inner envelope format for couples with the same last name, you can use their titles and last name or just their first names.

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

For spouses with a hyphenated last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mr. [Wife's Full Name]- [Hyphenated Last Name]".

Inner envelope: "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Mr. [Wife's Name]" or use their first names.

Informal/Modern Approaches:

If a more modern or informal approach is preferred, titles can be omitted altogether. For couples with the same last name, the outer envelope can simply state their first and last names on the same line, e.g., " [Wife's Name] and [Husband's Name] [Last Name]".

For couples with different last names, their full names can be listed separately on the outer envelope, connected with "and" in between.

Other Considerations:

When addressing married couples, it is essential to consider their preferences and comfort levels. Some modern women may prefer to have their names included in the invitation rather than being addressed solely as "Mrs." followed by their husband's name. In such cases, the outer envelope can be adapted to include both names, e.g., "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]".

Additionally, when deciding on the order of names, it is common to list the person you are closest with first, followed by their partner's name. Alphabetical order can also be used if you are equally close to both individuals.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple living together, the full names of each guest should be included on the outer envelope, with appropriate titles. The names can be listed on one or two lines. If the names are on one line, they should be separated by "and". If the names are on two lines, the person you are closest to should be listed first.

• Ms. Amanda Rhee and Mr. Stanley Kim
• Ms. Alysson Schulz and Mr. Ricardo Gonzales
• Ms. Lily Pike and Ms. Jane Pearce
• Mr. Aaron Triguiero and Mr. Gabriel Reyes
• Ms. Mary Ann and Mr. Tom Thumb

If the unmarried couple does not live together, they should receive separate invitations.

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

If you are inviting a single person who is a widow, it is common to address the envelope with her married name, but it is best to ask for her preference. A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether she goes by her maiden name or married name.

If you are inviting a single person who is under the age of 18, no title is necessary.

Single male guest:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"

Single female guest:

• Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" (if she is younger than 18)
• Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen" or "Stephanie"

Non-binary guest:

• Outer envelope: "Mx. Sam Li"
• Inner envelope: "Sam Li"

If you are inviting a single person with a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope only.

Addressing a family

When addressing a family on a wedding invitation, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, decide whether you want to be specific about whom in the family is invited. If you don't want to specify, simply address the envelope to the entire family:

"The [Family Name] Family"

If you do want to be specific about which family members are invited, it is customary to list the names of each family member individually. Begin with the parent or parents' names, then list the invited children's names in order of age below. Girls under the age of 18 can be addressed as "Miss". For boys, a title is not necessary until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".

"Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham" (outer envelope)

"Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly" (inner envelope)

If the whole family is invited, you can use the family name or just the parents' names on the outer envelope:

"The Simpson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson"

Then, on the inner envelope, list the first names of all invited family members:

"Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie" or "Homer, Marge, Bart, Miss Lisa, and Miss Maggie"

If you are inviting a family with children over the age of 18, it is recommended to send separate invitations to each family member.

Addressing distinguished titles

When addressing wedding invitations to guests with distinguished titles, it is important to follow the correct format to ensure that your guests feel welcomed and respected. Here are some guidelines for addressing invitations to individuals with various distinguished titles:

Doctors

When addressing a married couple where one partner is a doctor, list the doctor's name first, regardless of gender. You can choose to spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope for a more formal approach. If the doctor is a woman and she has taken her husband's last name or uses it socially, reflect that in the address.

Examples:

• Outer envelope: Doctor Michaela Quinn and Mr. Byron Sully
• Inner envelope: Dr. Quinn and Mr. Sully

If both partners are doctors with the same last name, you can address them as "The Doctors" followed by their last name. Traditionally, the woman's name is listed first.

Examples:

• Outer envelope: The Doctors Smith or Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith
• Inner envelope: The Doctors Smith or Matthew and Angela

Military Personnel

When addressing a couple where one or both partners are military officers, ensure you know their correct title, rank, and service. The military title comes first, regardless of gender.

Examples:

• Outer envelope: Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly
• Inner envelope: Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly

If both partners hold military titles, list their names in alphabetical order or based on rank.

Examples:

• Outer envelope: Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy
• Inner envelope: The Captains Kelly

Lawyers

When addressing a couple where one or both partners are lawyers, use "Esq." after their names. If both partners are attorneys, include "Esq." after each name.

Examples:

• Outer envelope: Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown
• Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Brown

Judges

When addressing a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. If the judge is married, include the spouse's title as well. For invitations with an inner envelope, drop the first names and use "Judge" followed by the last name.

Examples:

• Outer envelope: The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez
• Inner envelope: Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez

Other Distinguished Titles

For guests with other distinguished titles, such as politicians, religious leaders, or academics, refer to specific etiquette guides like Emily Post for detailed instructions. The general rule is to use "THE" before their title, followed by their full name.

In all cases, it is essential to use the correct titles and full names of your guests. If you are unsure about a guest's preferred title or name format, don't hesitate to ask them directly to ensure that your invitations are addressed accurately and respectfully.

Frequently asked questions