Etiquette Of Addressing Wedding Invites: To Title Or Not?

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky business. While it's not necessary to include titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss, it can be considered more formal and traditional to do so. It's also worth noting that some people may prefer not to be addressed by certain titles, so it's always worth checking with your guests beforehand.

If you're inviting a couple, it's standard to list both names on the same line, with the person you're closest to, or the person whose name comes first alphabetically, going first. If the couple has different last names, you can list either name first, depending on your preference. If one person has a hyphenated name, this usually comes last.

When inviting a family, you can either address the whole family or specify which members are invited. If you want to be specific, write the names of each family member, starting with the parents, and list invited children's names in order of age below.

For single guests, use Mr. for men, Ms. for women, and Miss for girls under 18. For non-binary guests, the abbreviation Mx. is often used.

Addressing married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preference and the couple's sensitivity to the issue. Here are some examples:

For heterosexual couples, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]". For instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple is sensitive about the wife's name being left out, you can address it as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]". For example, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

The inner envelope can be more informal. You can address it as "Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]" or use their first names, such as "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are inviting a same-sex couple with the same last name, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mr. Smith" or "Mrs. and Mrs. Smith" for the outer envelope. The inner envelope can be addressed similarly to heterosexual couples.

It is important to note that some modern women may have a strong aversion to having their names left out and lumped in with their husbands. Therefore, it is always a good idea to consider the couple's preferences and sensitivities when addressing the invitations.

Additionally, if you are using double envelopes (an inner and outer envelope), the inner envelope can be more informal, and you have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope.

Addressing married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Here are some detailed guidelines to ensure your invitations are properly addressed:

Outer Envelope:

• Write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• Another option is to write each name on a separate line. This can be helpful if you are dealing with long last names. For instance:

Ms. Maria Stevens

Mr. David Estevez

Address

City, State, Zip Code

If the woman has kept her maiden name, you can address the invitation as "Mrs. Rachel Cooper-Smith" or write her name first, followed by her husband's name.

Inner Envelope:

• For the inner envelope, you can use their titles and last names or just their first names. For example, "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David".
• Always use the preferred titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc.) and spell out the full names.
• Avoid assuming that the wife has changed her name. It is better to ask beforehand to avoid any mistakes.
• If you are close to the couple, you can also ask them their preferred way of being addressed.
• Remember that the outer envelope should be more formal, while the inner envelope can be more casual.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your wedding invitations to married couples with different last names are properly and respectfully addressed.

Addressing unmarried couples

When addressing an invitation to an unmarried couple, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, the invitation should be addressed to both people on one line, and you should list the person you are closest with first. If you know both guests equally well, tradition dictates that you should list the woman's name first.

> Outer envelope: Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

> Inner envelope: Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee or Stanley and Amanda

If the unmarried couple lives together as roommates and are not romantically involved, they should each receive their own invitation.

It is also important to note that the use of titles such as "Ms.", "Miss", and "Mr." can be flexible. While "Ms." is typically used by women regardless of their marital status, and "Miss" is used for unmarried women, usually those under 18, these are old-fashioned rules, and you can choose to address your guests however they prefer.

Addressing single individuals

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the appropriate prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

If the single guest is a woman under the age of 18, use "Miss" instead of "Ms." If the guest is a man under the age of 18, no title is necessary.

If the single guest is a widow, it is best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. Widows might also prefer to be addressed as "Ms."

If the guest is divorced, you can address the envelope using either "Ms." or "Mrs." and either her ex-husband's surname (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.

If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. If they are a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name.

For a single guest with a plus-one, it is best to know the name of the person they will bring. If not, simply include "and guest" or "& Guest" after the invitee's name.

Addressing families

When sending wedding invitations to a family, you should first decide whether you want to be specific about whom in the family is invited. If you don't want to specify, simply address the envelope to the whole family:

"The [Family Name]"

If you do want to specify which family members are invited, write the names of each family member in list form. Begin with the parent or parents' names, and list the invited children's names in order of age below. Female children under the age of 18 should be addressed as "Miss". If the children are over the age of 18, they should receive a separate invitation.

"Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]"

"Mr. [Child 1], Miss [Child 2], Miss [Child 3]"

If the whole family is invited, use the family name or only the names of the parents on the outer envelope:

"The [Family Name]"

"Mr. & Mrs. [Parents' Names]"

Then list the first names of all invited family members on the inner envelope:

"Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names], [Child 1], [Child 2], Miss [Child 3], Miss [Child 4]"

If you're inviting a family with children under the age of 18, the outer envelope is reserved for the name(s) of the parent(s) or guardian(s). You should list each child by name on the inner envelope. Boys don't need a title until they're 16, then they can be addressed as "Mr."

"Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]"

"Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names] [Child 1], [Child 2], Miss [Child 3]"

If you're only using one envelope, all invited parties should be clearly stated on the front. This includes guests that are typically only listed on the inner envelope, such as plus-ones and children. If you're short on space, you can replace children's individual names with "and Family".

Frequently asked questions