Can A Kid Be A Best Man?

There is no age limit on who can be a best man, and the role can be given to anyone the groom feels comfortable with – from grandpa to son. While the best man is usually a sibling or very close friend, there are no set rules. The role comes with a lot of responsibility, from planning an epic stag do to writing a speech and keeping the wedding rings safe.

Best man's speech

Hello everyone, my name is [Name] and I'm [Relation] to the groom. For those of you who don't know me, I'm the best man. I've known the groom for [Duration] and today, I'm here to celebrate his marriage to [Partner's Name].

I want to start by congratulating the newlyweds and wishing them a lifetime of happiness together. I know that [Name of Groom] will make an excellent husband to [Name of Bride] because he is [List positive attributes of the groom].

I also want to share a quick story or anecdote about the groom that showcases his personality and their relationship. This can be a funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing story, as long as it is appropriate for all guests.

I'd like to end by raising a toast to the happy couple and wishing them all the best for their future together. So please join me in toasting [Name of Groom] and [Name of Bride]. Congratulations!

Alternative Ideas

• If you're nervous about speaking in front of a large group, you can keep your speech short and sweet. Focus on welcoming the guests, congratulating the couple, and raising a toast.
• If you're the groom's sibling, you can talk about what it was like growing up together and how you feel about gaining a new family member.
• If you're a close friend of the groom, you can share stories or inside jokes that showcase your friendship and the groom's personality.
• Remember to adapt your speech to the audience. If there are older relatives present, avoid any sexual or inappropriate stories or jokes.
• You can also include a message or quote about love and marriage to add a thoughtful touch to your speech.

Choosing the groomsmen's attire

While there is no definitive answer to the question of how young a best man can be, it is generally accepted that the role comes with certain responsibilities that a person should be mature enough to handle. These include being there for the groom throughout the wedding day and giving a speech.

Now, onto the groomsmen's attire.

When it comes to selecting the groomsmen's attire, there are several factors to consider. Here are some tips to help you choose the perfect outfits for your groomsmen:

Formality of the Wedding:

The formality of your wedding will dictate the attire for the groomsmen. For a black-tie wedding, groomsmen should wear tuxedos, while for a more formal wedding, dark-coloured suits are appropriate. If you're having a beach or barn wedding, consider lighter-coloured suits or even just a dress shirt and trousers for a more casual look.

Season and Time of Day:

Consider the season and time of day of your wedding when choosing the groomsmen's outfits. For a summer wedding, opt for lighter fabrics like linen or cotton. Conversely, for a winter wedding, a stylish wool suit or velvet jacket can be a great choice.

Colour Palette and Theme:

Before shopping for groomsmen attire, it's essential to have a clear idea of your wedding's colour palette, aesthetic, and theme. This will ensure that the groomsmen's outfits complement the overall style and vibe of your celebration.

Coordination with Bridesmaids:

It's important to coordinate the groomsmen's attire with the bridesmaids' dresses. You can do this by colour-matching or choosing complementary colours for the groomsmen's accessories, such as ties, pocket squares, or vests.

Making the Groom Stand Out:

While the groomsmen should look cohesive, the groom should stand out from the rest. This can be achieved by having the groom wear a different colour suit, adding a vest, or choosing a patterned dress shirt. Even a different boutonniere or lapel pin can distinguish the groom from the groomsmen.

Accessories:

Accessories are a great way to add personality and charm to the groomsmen's outfits. Consider items like bow ties, cufflinks, suspenders, pocket squares, and colourful socks. These extras can make a big difference and allow for creativity within the dress code.

Timing and Ordering:

Don't leave ordering the groomsmen's attire until the last minute. Ideally, place the orders a few months in advance to ensure timely arrival and allow for any necessary adjustments.

Rental vs. Purchase:

Decide whether the groomsmen will rent or buy their outfits. Renting can be more convenient and affordable, especially for tuxedos, while buying provides the opportunity for customization and long-term use.

Payment:

Traditionally, groomsmen buy or rent their own wedding attire. However, some couples may choose to cover the expense for their groomsmen, especially if they have specific outfit requirements. It's essential to be upfront about expectations and discuss this with your groomsmen well in advance.

Remember, the groomsmen's attire should complement the overall style of your wedding and the bridesmaids' attire without overshadowing the bride or groom.

Planning the stag do

• Establish the planning team: Decide who will be in charge of planning the stag do. It could be just one person, usually the best man or an usher, or a small group of two to three people. Having a team can share the workload, but be careful not to involve too many people to avoid confusion.
• Create the guest list: Work with the groom to create a provisional guest list. This should include only the people the groom wants to invite, and it is important to stick to this list. Consider the guests' dietary requirements, medical conditions, and other relevant details that may impact the activities planned.
• Set up a group chat: Create a group chat with the planning team and guests. Introduce yourselves and explain the planning process. This is also a good opportunity for guests to get to know each other if they are not already familiar.
• Determine the budget and duration: Discuss the financial situation with the guests to understand their spending limits. Provide a ballpark figure for the expected costs based on the type of stag do the groom wants. This will help you determine the budget and the duration of the event, whether it will be a day or night out, a weekend getaway, or something more elaborate.
• Choose the dates: Propose three to five potential dates to the group, taking into account the groom's availability and preferences. Aim for dates that work for key guests the groom wants to attend. Encourage flexibility and give everyone sufficient time to check their availability.
• Communicate the payment plan: Before booking activities and accommodation, establish a payment plan for the group. Request a deposit from attendees to secure bookings, and set one or two additional payment dates before the stag do. This will help spread out the costs and ensure everyone is paid up before the event.
• Select a theme or main activity: Choose one or two main activities or a theme to shape the stag do. This could be an adrenaline-pumping experience, a live event, or a bar crawl, depending on the groom's interests and the group's preferences.
• Book accommodation: If the stag do involves an overnight stay or a trip, book suitable accommodation. Check that the accommodation allows stag parties and take note of any check-in and check-out times, as well as ground rules such as noise restrictions.
• Arrange transportation: For local stag dos, consider booking taxis or mini-buses, especially if driving is involved. For international stag dos, book flights together to ensure the group sits together and gets a good deal. Remember to check passport validity for all travellers.
• Draft an itinerary: Create a detailed itinerary for the stag do, including arrival times, activity locations and durations, free time, and expected end time. Include any relevant outfit requirements, such as fancy dress or specific dress codes.
• Update the group and plan additional details: Send the itinerary to the group and provide updates on any changes or additional activities. This is also a good time to request feedback and ideas for smaller activities, games, and finishing touches to make the event memorable.
• Finalise payments and send the final itinerary: Ensure everyone has made their final payments, and send out a final message with any last-minute details. Get the group excited and build anticipation for the celebration.
• Enjoy the stag do: Don't forget to have fun! Even if things don't go exactly according to plan, stay flexible and make the most of the moment.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

While there is no age limit on who can be a best man, the role does come with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties is keeping the wedding rings safe. Here are some tips to ensure the rings are secure:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you may be asked to keep the rings safe in the lead-up to the wedding. It's a good idea to discuss with the couple where and how the rings will be stored. Will they be kept in a safe, or will the couple hang on to them? If you are given the rings ahead of time, be sure to keep them in a secure location, such as a locked box or drawer.

On the Wedding Day

The best man is often the ring bearer, so you'll need to be responsible for bringing the rings to the ceremony and having them on hand during the exchange. If you're not the official ring bearer, make sure you check with the person who is to ensure they have the rings. It's also a good idea to have a backup plan in case something happens to the rings, such as losing or damaging them. Work with the couple to designate a backup ring bearer, or consider getting insurance for the rings.

During the Ceremony

If you are the ring bearer, you'll need to stand with the groom at the altar during the ceremony, with the rings ready for the exchange. If the couple has opted for a ring warming ceremony, where the rings are passed among the guests, you can hand them to the couple at the appropriate time. If there is a ring bearer, usually a young child, make sure they understand their role and that they know to hand the rings to you or the couple during the ceremony.

After the Ceremony

Once the rings have been exchanged, your main responsibility is to ensure they stay safe for the rest of the day. This may involve keeping them with you or returning them to the couple. If the couple is heading straight to their honeymoon, you may be asked to store the rings, along with any other wedding gifts, until they return.

Greeting guests with the groom

Greeting the guests with the groom is one of the best man's important duties on the wedding day. Here are some tips to ensure you excel in this role:

Arrive Early

Ensure that the groom arrives at the venue at least 20 minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. This will give you both time to greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere before the ceremony commences.

Be an Ambassador

As the best man, you are the groom's right-hand man. Be sure to introduce yourself as the best man to any guests you don't know, so they know who they can speak to if they have any questions. You will probably know many of the guests, but it is important to make yourself known to those you don't.

Be Supportive

The best man is the groom's confidant, so be sure to offer emotional support if needed. The groom's nerves may be heightened on the day, so be a source of calm and positive energy.

Be Organised

Keep an eye on the time to ensure the groom doesn't get sidetracked and that everything runs smoothly. This will help to reduce any stress or anxiety the groom may be feeling.

Be Welcoming

Stand by the groom's side as you greet the arriving guests. Be friendly and welcoming, creating a warm atmosphere for the guests as they enter the venue.

Be Prepared

If there are any young page boys or junior ushers, they may need help with their outfits or general looking after. Be prepared to step in and organise them if needed.

Be Accommodating

If there are any last-minute tasks that come your way, be as hands-on as possible and deal with them swiftly.

Remember, the role of the best man is to support the groom and ensure he enjoys his day. By following these tips, you will excel at greeting the guests and make the groom feel at ease.

Frequently asked questions