Crafting A Hilarious Best Man Toast: A Guide

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities. One of the duties involved in giving the perfect best man speech is to give a best man toast to the newlyweds. This is the ideal way to end a best man's speech. A best man toast is a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception.

If you're hoping to write and deliver a best man speech that will blow everyone away, here are some tips:

- Keep your speech between 5 and 7 minutes.

- Mix jokes with sweet moments.

- Skip the dirty jokes.

- Practice your speech.

- Use props and slides sparingly.

- Throw in inside jokes and fun stories.

- Start with a self-deprecating joke.

- Focus on the newlyweds.

- Don't rely solely on humour.

- Keep things positive.

- Don't upstage the newlyweds.

- Consider your audience.

- Stay true to yourself.

Introduce yourself with a twist

The first part of the best man's speech is to introduce yourself. While many guests will know you and your relationship with the groom, there will be many guests who do not. So, kick off your toast by stating your name and how you know the groom.

"Good evening, my name is Joe and I'm the groom's older brother."

"Welcome, everyone. My name is Carl and I've been friends with Jason since we roomed together at Michigan State."

Try to avoid overused clichés in an effort to be humorous. Things like, "I'm the older and better-looking brother," are far from unique and the only laughter they tend to evoke is nervous laughter.

You can also start with a joke to break the ice.

"Good evening! I'm Mike, and I've had the honour of being [groom's name] best man today. When he asked me to give this speech, he had two requests: keep it clean and keep it short. So I had to throw out my first 15 drafts."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be humble and keep this speech simple – that's what Google recommended after my first three drafts."

"I've known the groom so long, I remember when his idea of commitment was finishing a whole Netflix series."

Talk About the Groom

The second step is to focus on the groom. You can have fun with playful jokes at his expense but make sure to ground these jokes within more sentimental themes. Include one to three specific stories about you and the groom together, spanning any time period.

"I met [groom] in our prams about 27 years ago. Paul's pram was twice the size of mine, smelt of urine and was sometimes used to store unsavoury magazines—nope, sorry, I'm thinking of his first car!"

"I met Paul in the first year of university. We didn't know Linda even existed then, but that's not to say Paul had no love interests. He was absolutely bowled over by a real sparkler called Stella when I first met him, but when money got tight, he found that an evening with Sherry was always good."

"I've watched [groom's name]'s evolution since meeting [bride's name]. He's gone through several fascinating phases: The 'Trying to Impress' phase: suddenly yoga became his 'passion'. The 'Moving In Together' phase: learning that dishes don't clean themselves. The 'Reality' phase: accepting that her Netflix preferences now control their lives."

Talk About the Bride

While it can be tempting, don't focus 100% of your speech on the groom. Include a few words about his partner. You want the groom to know that you are happy with who he chose to marry and you want his new spouse to feel your love too.

"For those on [bride's] side who don't know [groom] as well, let me paint you a picture. Before meeting your wonderful [bride], he was the kind of guy who thought ironing meant hanging his shirt in the bathroom during a hot shower. She's really upgraded his life skills, and we're all grateful."

"Before meeting your wonderful [bride], his idea of a productive day was clearing his email inbox by moving everything to spam."

"I first met [bride] at work. When [groom] asked her out, she actually thought he was hitting on her boss – me. I'm not sure if that says more about him or me."

Explain Why Their Marriage Makes You Happy

This section should focus on their new marriage. Consider tying together themes from the previous sections.

"I've watched [groom] grow from someone who thought 'laundry sorting' meant 'clean pile' and 'dirty pile' into someone who actually separates his whites and colours. [Bride], I think we both know who we have to thank for that miracle."

"I've watched [groom's name]'s evolution since meeting [bride's name]. He's gone through several fascinating phases... And that's why, to this day, their date nights involve either restaurants or [bride's name]'s cooking."

"To my new sister-in-law: welcome to the family! We're not crazy, we're just enthusiastically quirky. And to my brother: you've finally found someone who laughs at your jokes – though we all know she's just being polite."

Closing

The final step in the best man speech is the closing. A good way to close a wedding toast is to tell guests what to do. For example, "May I ask everyone to raise their glass," or "Please join me in toasting the happy couple."

"So before I raise this glass, let me say this: [groom], you've been my best friend through thick and thin – mostly thick, thanks to those pizza years. [Bride], you're the best thing that's ever happened to him, and that includes the time he won free Netflix for a year. Please join me in raising your glasses to the happy couple – may your love continue to grow, your Netflix queue remain perfectly balanced, and your takeaway orders always arrive hot!"

"To the happy couple – may your love be as enduring as [groom's name] legendary hangovers, and may your life together be filled with adventure, joy, and slightly fewer tequila shots. Cheers!"

Make it personal

Making your best man speech personal is essential to ensuring it's memorable and engaging. Here are some tips to help you make your speech more personal:

Share Stories and Anecdotes:

Share stories and anecdotes about the groom that showcase his personality and your friendship. These stories can be entertaining and universal, ensuring that all guests can relate to them. Include specific details, such as the groom's hobbies, interests, or embarrassing moments you've shared. This will make your speech more engaging and help the audience connect with the groom.

Talk About Your Relationship with the Groom:

Share how you know the groom and the significance of your friendship. This will give context to your speech and help the audience understand your unique bond. You can talk about how long you've known each other, how you met, and any adventures or shared experiences you've had. It adds a personal touch and provides insights into the groom's life.

Include Specific Details:

When talking about the groom and your relationship, include specific details that make your speech unique. This could be inside jokes, shared experiences, or memories that others might not know about. These details will make your speech more intimate and engaging, creating a closer connection with the audience.

Share How the Groom Has Changed:

Talk about how the groom has grown and changed over the years, especially since meeting his spouse. This can be a heartwarming and funny part of your speech. You can talk about how the groom has matured, developed new interests, or improved certain skills. It shows that you've noticed their evolution and adds a layer of depth to your speech.

Mention the Bride's Impact:

Discuss the positive impact the bride has had on the groom. Talk about how she has influenced him, helped him grow, or expanded his horizons. This shows that you acknowledge and appreciate the bride's role in the groom's life and adds a touch of romance to your speech.

Share a Sentimental Moment:

While humour is important, don't be afraid to include a sentimental moment or two. Share a heartfelt story or experience that showcases the groom's thoughtful side. This could be a time when he supported you or someone else, or a moment when he demonstrated his values and character. It will add depth to your speech and show the groom in a more serious light.

Include a story about the groom

The best man's speech is a chance to share some kind words about your relationship with the groom and the couple. While you can open with a joke, the focus should be on the groom and his journey to this moment. You can talk about his growth, his adventures, and the impact his partner has had on him.

The Groom's Growth and Journey

Talk about the groom's growth and how he has changed over the years. This could be in terms of his personality, his habits, or his outlook on life. For example, you could say something like:

> "I've watched [Groom] grow from a man whose idea of cooking was microwaving frozen meals to someone who knows the difference between sautéing and stir-frying. He still can't do either, but at least he knows the difference!"

The Groom's Adventures

Share a funny or embarrassing story from one of your adventures with the groom. It could be from your childhood, your college years, or a recent trip you took together. For instance:

> "I remember when [Groom] and I went on a road trip. He tried to talk his way out of a speeding ticket, but he failed embarrassingly. That's our groom for you—always ready to take on a challenge, even if he doesn't succeed!"

The Impact of the Bride

Talk about how the bride has positively influenced the groom. This could be in terms of his habits, his outlook on life, or his overall happiness. For example:

> "Since meeting [Bride], [Groom] has gone from someone who thought 'laundry' meant 'clean pile' and 'dirty pile' to someone who actually separates his whites and colours. [Bride], we both know who we have to thank for that miracle!"

Remember to keep your stories entertaining and universal. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Tie your stories together with a theme, such as the groom's growth, his adventures, or his relationship with the bride.

Good luck with your best man speech!

Mention the bride

Mentioning the bride in a best man's speech is a must. While the focus of the speech should be on the groom, it is important to talk about the positive influence the bride has had on him. Here are some ideas on how to mention the bride in a funny yet meaningful way:

Talk About How the Groom Has Changed for the Better

The bride has clearly had a positive impact on the groom, so it's worth mentioning the ways in which he has changed for the better since meeting her. Has he started showing an interest in things outside of pubs, football and sleeping in? Does he now have wider horizons and a greater sense of adventure? Mention these changes in a lighthearted way, perhaps with a touch of exaggeration for comedic effect. For example: "Thanks to his beautiful new wife, Frank now does something called globe-trotting which actually involves going to lots of different far-flung countries and immersing yourself in their culture, rather than a two-hour flight and immersing yourself at the bar."

Share a Funny Story About the Couple

If you have a funny story about the couple, this can be a great way to mention the bride in your speech. It could be about how they met, a holiday they went on together, or a time when the groom did something romantic or thoughtful for the bride. Just make sure the story is appropriate and won't cause any embarrassment for the happy couple or their families. For example: "I remember the first time Mark met Emily. He was so nervous he ended up spilling his drink all over her. But she just laughed it off, and they've been inseparable ever since. It's clear to see how happy she makes him, and I couldn't be happier for them both."

Compliment the Bride

It's important to say some nice things about the bride in your speech. You could mention how beautiful she looks, how she has brightened everyone's day with her warm smile, or how she has helped the groom to settle down. You could also share a quote about love and marriage that you feel sums up their relationship. Just make sure your compliments are sincere and not too cheesy. For example: "Cassie, you look absolutely beautiful today. I think we can all agree Brent is one lucky guy. I've seen over the years just how happy you've made each other, and I'm so thrilled for Brent that he's met such an amazing woman to share his life with."

Wish Them a Happy Future Together

Finally, make sure to raise a glass to the couple and wish them a long and happy life together. This is the perfect way to end your speech on a positive note. You could also include a funny line or two, such as: "I know they'll have a wonderful future together, and I'm sure they'll figure out what to do with all their free time now that they're spending less time at work. After all, they're newlyweds—I'm sure they'll think of something!"

End with a wish for the couple

The final step in the best man speech is the closing. My favourite way to close a wedding toast is to tell guests what to do. For example, you may begin your closing with, "May I ask everyone to raise their glass, or "Please join me in toasting the happy couple."

This accomplishes two things:

• Guests understand what their role is and feel included.
• Everyone knows your speech is coming to a close, and this signals what kind of energy they need to bring.

Finally, your very last line should be a wish for the couple. Here are some examples:

• "May you laugh together and love forever."
• "May you both remain as happy as you are today."
• "I wish you both a wonderful marriage full of plenty more reasons to celebrate from this day forward."
• "May your love continue to grow, your Netflix queue remain perfectly balanced, and your takeaway orders always arrive hot!"
• "May your love be as strong as the drinks in your hand. Cheers!"
• "May your love be as enduring as [Groom]'s legendary hangovers, and may your life together be filled with adventure, joy, and slightly fewer tequila shots. Cheers!"
• "May your love story be long, your arguments short, and your Netflix queue perfectly balanced."
• "May your love be as endless as [Groom]'s appetite and as beautiful as [Bride]'s patience!"
• "May your love story continue to be the best kind of adventure."
• "May your love continue to grow deeper with each passing day. May you always find reasons to laugh together, dream together, and cherish each other."
• "May your love continue to be both your anchor and your sail. May you always find home in each other's arms, and may your journey together be filled with more joy than you can imagine."
• "May your union be blessed with love, laughter, and prosperity for all the years to come."
• "May your marriage be blessed with endless joy, boundless love, and a lifetime of beautiful moments together."
• "May your home be blessed with warmth, your lives filled with adventure, and your hearts forever intertwined in love."
• "May your love grow stronger with each passing day, and may your joy be multiplied in the years to come."
• "May your love be stronger than campus WiFi, your partnership more lasting than freshman orientation friendships, and your future brighter than our career prospects were during senior year."
• "May your love have better longevity than a viral tweet, stronger connections than 5G, and more chemistry than a well-curated feed."
• "May your bandwidth be unlimited, your connection never buffer, and your love life have zero latency. Here's to a marriage that's always online and never needs a reset!"
• "May your love appreciate faster than the housing market, your happiness be more stable than the job market, and your future be brighter than our student loan debt outlook."
• "May your love continue to defy logic, your patience remain endless, and your shared Netflix account always have something you both want to watch."
• "May your love continue to grow, your patience never falter, and your first aid kit always be well-stocked for his cooking adventures."
• "May your life together be filled with as much joy as [Groom]'s face when he finds a matching sock pair, and may your love be as enduring as his collection of unread emails."
• "May your love be as strong as our fraternity bonds, your happiness as abundant as our college memories, and your future as bright as [Groom]'s face during alumni weekend."
• "May your love be as strong as the coffee that got us through finals, your partnership more successful than our group projects, and your happiness as infinite as our student loan debt."

Frequently asked questions