The Best Man's Speech: Perfect Timing For A Toast

The best man's speech is a wedding tradition that is usually given at the wedding reception, following the maid of honour's toast and the groom's speech. It is an opportunity for the best man to share kind words about the couple and his relationship with the groom. The best man's speech should be lighthearted and memorable, with a good mix of humour and sentiment. While the content and delivery of the speech are important, it is also crucial to consider the timing and length of the speech. A well-crafted best man's speech typically lasts around 5 to 7 minutes to ensure the audience remains engaged.

Icebreakers and jokes

Icebreakers

Icebreakers are a great way to start your best man's speech. They can help you get the audience on your side and create a light-hearted and fun atmosphere. Here are some ideas for icebreakers to include in your speech:

• "I'm honoured to have been asked to be the best man. I know you're all tired, you want food, and you want me to sit down. So, I'll keep this short and sweet."
• "I'm sure we can all agree that [groom] is a lucky man today. And [bride], you must be thrilled as well. You leave here today with a lovely outfit and a beautiful bouquet."
• "I know I'm not supposed to roast the groom, so I'll just refer to the kind and funny side of his character."
• "I'd like to congratulate the groom on his excellent taste in best men. He's truly outdone himself this time."
• "I know we're all here to celebrate the happy couple, but I think we can all agree that the real stars of the day are the bartenders."
• "I read somewhere that a best man speech shouldn't take any longer than it takes the groom to... well, you know. So, let's raise a glass to the happy couple!"

Jokes

Adding a few jokes to your best man's speech can lighten the mood and keep your audience entertained. Here are some ideas for jokes to include:

• "It's been an emotional day—even the cake is in tiers."
• "If anyone here is feeling nervous, apprehensive, and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you just married [groom]."
• "I know I'm not supposed to talk about the groom's mishaps, mistakes, or embarrassing moments, so thanks for listening, everyone!"
• "I've known the groom for about 10 years. He's handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic... sorry, wrong wedding."
• "I've known the groom since we were kids. I realised he was a bit of a troublemaker when a glass bowl of potpourri went flying past my head."
• "The groom is always trying to track down the dark forces behind his least favourite football club. I think he overheard someone say that the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press."
• "I know the groom has been trying to broaden his horizons since meeting the bride. Thanks to her, he now does something called 'globetrotting', which involves going to far-flung countries and immersing himself in their culture."

Introducing yourself

The best man's speech is a chance to share kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. It's also an opportunity to unite the room in celebration and welcome the partner into your circle of friends. As the best man, you'll be the bridge between the past and the present, connecting childhood memories with this momentous occasion.

• Share your name and your connection to the groom: Start by telling the guests your name and how you know the groom. This will help establish your connection to everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well. You can say something like, "Good evening everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm Chris, and I've had the privilege of being John's best friend since we accidentally set off the fire alarm in seventh-grade chemistry class."
• Add a humorous twist: While introducing yourself, you can add a funny twist or a light-hearted joke to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. For example, "Good evening, if you're in this room and don't know me by now, then you're probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [your name], and I've been best friends with [groom] for 25 years..."
• Share how you feel about being the best man: You can express your honour and delight at being chosen as the best man. This will set a friendly tone for your speech. For instance, "As Michael's best man and brother, I couldn't be more honoured to share this moment."
• Break the ice with a joke: A light-hearted joke or icebreaker can be a great way to warm up the guests and ease your nerves. You can make a joke about your unpreparedness or the groom's speech. Just avoid overused jokes and focus on originality and creativity.
• Provide some background on your friendship: Share a brief overview of how you met the groom and the history of your friendship. This will help establish your connection with the groom and provide context for your anecdotes. For example, "I've known James for twenty years, and I've never seen him as happy as he is with Emma."
• Be mindful of cultural sensitivity and audience demographics: Understand the cultural nuances and expectations of the wedding. Some cultures place greater emphasis on formal respect, while religious ceremonies may require additional sensitivity to traditions and values. Ensure your introduction is accessible and appropriate for all guests.

Reading out messages

The best man may be asked to read out messages and telegrams from guests who couldn't attend the wedding. This is a lovely gesture and will be meaningful to some people in the room. It can also be an opportunity to add a surprise or something funny to the mix. For example, you could include a message from an old teacher or the landlord at the couple's local pub. You could even put in some fake messages that will bring a laugh from the guests. For instance, a note from Channing Tatum, apologising for not being able to make it, or a message from the police, asking for a new statement of events from the stag do.

Storytelling and anecdotes

The storytelling aspect of your speech is arguably the most important part. It is your chance to share amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom and the newlyweds. This is the key section of your speech and you want to take your audience on a journey through your friendship and give an overview of who the groom is as a person.

How to Tell a Story

The trick to telling a great story is to make the whole thing a story rather than dragging the audience through endless tales. Recounting anecdotes is challenging because they require a lot of detail and you run the risk of losing the audience on the way to the punchline.

Instead, take out the good bits from the stories and condense them, even embellish slightly, into one neat burst of comedy. For example, if the groom has a history of spilling drinks, you could say:

> If he spilled his drink, he drenched half the pub with export-strength lager.

How to Choose a Story

When choosing a story, opt for tales that are mind-bogglingly unlikely and amusing. For example, if the groom once spent three years at joinery school because he wrote "banister" instead of "barrister" on his UCAS form, that's something the wedding guests should know about.

However, be mindful that your audience will have different connections to the groom, and their intimate knowledge of him may be limited. So, before launching into a story, give some context. If the pay-off to your story involves one of the groom's odd personal catchphrases or habits, make sure to set things up early on by dropping that knowledge into the opening of your story.

How to Deliver a Story

When practising your speech, experiment with your intonation—the rise and fall of your voice—and with the characterisation of different people in your story. When it comes to the groom's part, why not try doing an impression of him? If it's even vaguely recognisable, it'll get a giggle.

Don't be afraid to use your body when telling an energetic tale but, if you're relying on note cards to get you through your speech, go easy on the dramatic flourishes or you'll end up tossing them all over the front row.

How to Edit a Story

When planning your speech, write your story down in full, then edit it ruthlessly, cutting out any unnecessary waffle. Aim for a speech length of around 2-5 minutes, which is long enough to resonate but short enough not to lose any wedding guest's attention span. Do not be tempted to ad-lib on stage, as the likelihood of blowing the punchline or missing a crucial detail will increase.

Words of wisdom and advice

The best man's speech is a chance to share some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. It's also an opportunity to shine a unique light on the couple's relationship and welcome the partner into your circle of friends. Here are some words of wisdom and advice to help you craft a memorable and engaging speech:

Know Your Role

As the best man, you have a profound responsibility to deliver a speech that resonates with everyone present while honouring your friend and his new spouse. Your role is to represent the collective voice of friends and family, share meaningful insights about the groom's character, celebrate the couple's unique love story, and create a memorable moment. Your words should unite the room in celebration and welcome the partner into your circle.

Structure Your Speech

A well-structured speech guides guests through an emotional journey while maintaining their interest. Think of your speech as a story with distinct chapters, each serving a specific purpose. Begin with an introduction and expression of gratitude for your role. Share meaningful stories and highlight the groom's character. Describe how the couple met and celebrate their connection. Offer words of wisdom and advice to the newlyweds. Conclude with a heartfelt toast, raising a glass to the couple.

Timing is Key

Keep your speech concise and impactful. The ideal length is around seven minutes for UK weddings and five minutes for American weddings. Practice with a timer and have a shorter version ready in case you need to trim your speech. Focus on quality over quantity, ensuring each minute adds value to your message.

Craft a Strong Opening

Your opening sets the tone for your entire speech. Grab the audience's attention by establishing your connection to the couple. You can take a traditional approach by introducing yourself and sharing how you know the groom. Alternatively, start with a humorous or heartfelt beginning. You can also incorporate a well-chosen quote or a light-hearted icebreaker joke.

Share Meaningful Stories

The heart of your speech lies in the stories you choose to share. Select anecdotes that reveal the groom's character while entertaining the guests. Structure your stories with a setup, development, and payoff. Balance humour with genuine sentiment to create touching moments. Share stories that showcase the groom's unique qualities and the couple's bond.

Offer Sincere Advice

As the best man, you can offer light-hearted yet sincere advice to the newlyweds. If you're married, share some golden rules for a happy marriage. If you're not married, ask married friends or family members for their tips on love, compromise, and everyday living. You can also include some fun top tips from TV shows or movies.

Compliment the Couple

Take a moment to compliment the couple and reflect on their relationship. Share a memory of when you knew they were destined to be together. Highlight the positive impact they have had on each other's lives. Acknowledge how the partner has brought out the best in the groom and welcomed them into your circle of friends.

Final Toast and Well-Wishes

Conclude your speech with a heartfelt toast, raising a glass to the couple. Wish them a future filled with happiness and invite all the guests to join in. You can include a personalised quote capturing your hopes for their journey together.

Practice and Prepare

Finally, don't underestimate the power of practice and preparation. Rehearse your speech multiple times to build confidence and reduce nerves. Have a printed copy of your speech, as well as a shortened version, in case of emergencies. Arrive early to familiarise yourself with the venue and check the microphone setup. Keep water nearby and limit alcohol intake before your speech. Take deep breaths before starting and focus on friendly faces in the crowd.

Frequently asked questions