Rsvping To A Wedding: Email Etiquette Explained

RSVPs are an important part of wedding planning, allowing couples to finalise their guest list, create a seating plan and confirm their budget. While the traditional way to respond to a wedding invitation is by post, it's becoming increasingly common for couples to ask guests to RSVP by email. If you've been asked to RSVP by email, it's important to respond promptly and include all the necessary information. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you navigate the process.

How to format your email

If you've been asked to RSVP by email, it's important to follow the couple's instructions and honour their request. Here are some guidelines on how to format your email:

• Subject Line: Start by creating a clear subject line that indicates whether you are accepting or declining the invitation. For example, "Accepting your invitation for [event name]" or "I'm delighted to confirm my attendance at [event name]."
• Salutation: Begin your email with a polite salutation, such as "Dear [Couple's Names]."
• Expression of Gratitude: Express your gratitude for the invitation. You can say something like, "Thank you for inviting us to join your wedding celebration."
• Confirmation of Attendance: Clearly state whether you will be attending or not. If you are attending, you can say, "Matt and I are happy to accept your invitation to the wedding day." If you are unable to attend, you can express your regrets, such as "Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend, and we are sad to miss this special event."
• Additional Details: Include any additional details requested by the couple, such as dietary restrictions, meal choices, or the total number of guests attending. For example, "In regard to entrée choices, Matt and I would both prefer fish."
• Well Wishes: Conclude your email with warm wishes for the couple. You can say something like, "Looking forward to the big day!" or "Sending our love and best wishes. Congratulations!"
• Sign-off: End the email with a polite closing, such as "Warmly" or "Kind regards," followed by your name(s).

Subject: Accepting your invitation for your wedding celebration

Dear Charles and Audra,

Thank you for inviting us to join your wedding celebration. Matt and I are happy to accept your invitation to the wedding day and the rehearsal.

In regard to entrée choices, Matt and I would both prefer fish.

Looking forward to the big day!

Warmly,

Matt and Shea Simmons

Remember to respond as soon as possible and always follow the couple's instructions to ensure your seat at the wedding.

What to include in your email

When responding to a wedding invitation by email, it's important to be clear, concise, and polite. Here's what to include in your email:

Subject Line

Start with a clear subject line that indicates whether you're accepting or declining the invitation. For example:

• "Accepting your invitation for [event name]"
• "I'm delighted to confirm my attendance at [event name]"
• "I'm coming! Can't wait to join you on your special day"
• "I'm declining your invitation to [event name]"
• "Unfortunately, I can't attend [event name]"
• "Please accept my apologies..."

Salutation

Begin your email with a polite salutation, addressing the couple by their names. For instance:

"Dear Charles and Audra,"

Gratitude and Acceptance/Regrets

Express gratitude for the invitation and clearly state whether you will be attending or not. Here are some examples:

• "Thank you for inviting us to join your wedding celebration. Matt and I are happy to accept your invitation to the wedding day and the rehearsal."
• "Thank you for your invitation, we will both be happily attending! Looking forward to it."
• "Thank you for your invitation. Unfortunately, we are unable to attend due to other commitments. We wish you an amazing day!"

Guest Names and Number

Provide the names of all guests attending, including yourself, and mention the total number of attendees. For instance:

"The following four people will be attending: David Smith, Rebecca Smith, Junior Smith, and Michelle Smith."

Dietary Requirements

If requested, include any dietary requirements or meal choices. For example:

"Michelle Smith – Vegetarian Meal"

Additional Information

Include any other details requested by the couple, such as mailing address, parking information, etc.

Well Wishes

Conclude your email with warm wishes for the couple. For example:

• "Looking forward to the big day! Warmly, Matt and Shea Simmons"
• "Wishing you an amazing day! Love, Sally and Harry Smith"

How to decline an invitation politely

It is important to remember that receiving a wedding invitation means you are someone special to the couple. They want you to be present for the most important day of their lives. So, when you decline, it is good to show compassion. Here are some tips on how to politely decline a wedding invitation:

• Respond promptly: Don't wait too long to decline the invitation. You don't want to seem like you aren't being thoughtful, or that you are waiting for a better offer.
• Be mindful of your relationship with the couple: If you are very close to the couple, it is best to break the news personally, such as over dinner or via a phone call. If you are not close to them, a simple RSVP with a short note should suffice.
• Express your disappointment: Let the couple know that you are disappointed and that you care about them. Express your well wishes and wish them happiness.
• Be honest but not overly detailed: It is generally better to be honest about your reasons for declining. However, you don't need to go into too much detail. A simple phrase like "due to conflicting commitments" or "work commitments" is often enough.
• Thank the couple for inviting you: This is a must. Make sure to express your gratitude for being invited.
• Send a gift or card: Sending a gift or a card with your RSVP is a nice way to show your support and love. It also helps to extend your congratulations and well wishes.
• Follow up: Even if you don't know the couple well, a follow-up call, email, or text is a polite way to show that you are genuinely disappointed that you can't make it.
• Suggest an alternative celebration: If possible, arrange another time to celebrate with the couple after the wedding. This shows that you value their friendship and want to honour their special day, even if you can't be there in person.

How to respond for a group

If you are responding to an email wedding invitation on behalf of a group, there are a few steps you should follow to ensure your response is clear and helpful to the hosts. Here is a guide on how to respond for a group:

Firstly, check the invitation for RSVP instructions. Only respond by email if that is the hosts' preferred method. If they have requested a response by post or through a wedding website, be sure to follow their instructions.

When responding by email, create a new draft and carefully input the host's email address. Double-check for typos to ensure your response reaches the right place.

Keep your response concise and timely. Let the hosts know whether or not you and your group will be attending, and do so as soon as possible. This gives the hosts enough time to plan and prepare for the expected number of guests.

When crafting your email, be polite and formal. Use proper spelling and grammar, and include your contact information. Even if you are unable to attend, express gratitude for being invited and considered.

Be sure to include all the details requested by the host. This may include dietary restrictions, meal choices, and the total number of attendees in your group. If someone in your group has a specific dietary requirement, such as being a vegetarian, be sure to mention this.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Richards,

Thank you for inviting us to attend the marriage of your daughter, Hannah. We are honoured to be included in the celebration and look forward to seeing you at the ceremony on Saturday, June 15th at St. Mary's Church in Little Rock.

The following four people will be attending:

David Smith

Rebecca Smith

Junior Smith

Michelle Smith – Vegetarian Meal

We are all looking forward to celebrating with you."

By following these steps, you can ensure your group's response is clear, polite, and helpful to the hosts as they plan their special day.

When to send your email

It is important to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible, even if you are unsure whether you will be able to attend. This is because the couple will be finalising their numbers, creating a seating plan and confirming their budget before the big day. It is also common courtesy to respond promptly, as the couple will be excitedly awaiting your response.

If you are not sure whether you can attend, it is best to hold off on responding until you can confirm. However, keep the couple in the loop and let them know when you will be able to give them a final answer.

The latest you should respond is the RSVP deadline, which is usually two to four weeks before the wedding. This gives the couple enough time to give their final numbers to the caterers and make any other necessary arrangements. If you respond after the RSVP deadline, you may find that there is no seat or meal for you at the wedding.

If you are unable to attend, it is still important to respond to the invitation. A simple “no” is sufficient, but you may also want to include an explanation and send a gift from their registry in your absence.

Frequently asked questions