Crafting Your Wedding Promises: A Guide To Writing Your Own Vows

Writing your own wedding vows is a daunting task, but it's a chance to create promises that resonate with you and your partner. Here are some tips to help you craft heartfelt wedding vows.

Where to Start

Begin by discussing with your partner whether you both want to write your own vows. If you're both on board, agree on the tone and format, and whether you'll write them together or separately. You might also want to set a deadline to ensure you don't leave them until the last minute.

Brainstorming

Take some time to reflect on your relationship. Think about what you love about your partner, what makes your relationship special, and the promises you want to make. Write down your favourite memories, inside jokes, and any quotes or lyrics that capture your feelings.

Structure

While there's no perfect order for writing your vows, there are some key elements you may want to include:

- Declare your love

- Make 2-6 specific promises

- Share a past memory

- Acknowledge that marriage won't always be easy

- Cast a vision for the future

Editing

Once you've written a draft, set it aside for a few days, then go back and edit. Don't be afraid to cut out chunks or rewrite sections—perfection takes time! Keep your vows short and sweet, aiming for around 250-300 words or 2-3 minutes when spoken aloud.

Practising

Practise reading your vows out loud, focusing on your speed and tone. You might also want to ask a trusted friend to listen and give you feedback. Remember, you don't need to memorise your vows—it's perfectly fine to read them from a vow booklet or card.

How to start your wedding promises

Writing your wedding vows can be nerve-wracking, but it's also something you'll always cherish. Here are some tips on how to start your wedding promises:

• Talk to your partner and decide together if you want to write your own vows. It's important that you are both comfortable with the idea, as traditional wedding vows are also a meaningful option.
• If you choose to write your own vows, start by talking to your officiant. Some religious institutions may require you to recite full or abbreviated forms of traditional marriage vows. It's also a good idea to give your officiant enough time to review your vows before the ceremony.
• Come up with a structure for your vows. Will you write them together or separately? Do you plan to share them with each other before the wedding, or keep them a secret? It's a good idea to set a deadline for when the vows need to be written.
• Think about the tone you want your vows to have. Are you a silly person who wants to write funny vows, or are you more sentimental and romantic? Your vows should echo the tone of your wedding and stay true to who you are.
• Begin writing your vows by making a list of the most important points you want to make. Write down everything that comes to mind, whether it's in the form of sentences or just thoughts. You can also use photos, music, films, literature, or other romantic sources of inspiration to get your creative juices flowing.
• Start your vows by telling your partner how much they mean to you. You can include a joke or a funny anecdote if you want to add a touch of humour. Use their first name and get straight to the point.
• Make your feelings known. Start your vows with a promise of your undying love and dedication to your partner.

Remember, your wedding vows should come from the heart and reflect your unique relationship. Don't be afraid to be creative, personal, and sweet in your promises. Good luck!

How to end your wedding promises

The ending of your wedding vows is the part that will stay with your guests the longest, so it's important to make it count. Here are some tips on how to end your wedding vows with a bang:

Reiterate your love and commitment

This is the time to emphasise your enduring love and commitment to your partner. You can say something like, "I give you my heart, my soul, and my trust, no matter what our future might bring," or "I promise to love and support you as your husband/wife as we begin this new chapter together."

Reference the future

Look towards your future together and mention how your love will help you through life's challenges. For example, "I promise to be your rock, to uplift and encourage you, and to never give up on you."

Add a romantic or funny twist

Depending on your style and personality, you can end your vows with a romantic or humorous twist. For a romantic touch, you might say, "I promise to love you until my dying breath and never leave your side." For a light-hearted approach, try something like, "I promise to always wear matching socks, and I'll never ask you to wear any of my clothes."

Make a grand declaration

End your vows with a powerful statement that sums up your love and commitment. Something like, "With my whole heart, I take you as my partner forever," or "I promise to be your greatest supporter and toughest adversary."

Traditional ending

If you prefer to stick to tradition, you can end your vows with the classic "I take thee as my wedded spouse, to have and to hold from this day onward; for better or worse; forsaking all others that come before me."

Remember, the most important thing is to speak from the heart and let your true feelings shine through. Your wedding vows are a reflection of your unique relationship, so feel free to personalise them to make them extra special.

How to make your wedding promises funny

Wedding vows are one of the most important aspects of the entire wedding celebration. While some couples choose to utter traditional vows, others decide to write personalized messages to their future spouse. Adding a little humour to your wedding vows can make the moment more relatable, personal, and enjoyable. Here are some tips to make your wedding vows funny:

• Keep it light and simple: Adding a little jocularity to your wedding vows is a great way to dial down the seriousness of the moment. However, remember that these are your wedding vows, so keep them light and simple. Avoid references that only you and your partner will understand.
• Include inside jokes: Your wedding vows can include inside jokes, but only those that your guests will be able to resonate with. Pick stories that illustrate your partnership and will be understandable to your guests.
• Make fun of your partner's quirks: You can poke fun at your partner's quirks in your vows. For example, you can promise to "never watch the next episode on Netflix without them, no matter how much you want to."
• Promise to do mundane tasks: Making promises to do mundane tasks, such as taking out the bins or doing the dishes, can add a touch of humour to your vows.
• Be self-deprecating: You can make light of your own quirks or habits in your vows. For instance, you could promise to "never steal the covers" or to "open the window when your partner is hot, even if you're freezing."
• Include pop culture references: You can include references to your favourite movies, TV shows, books, or songs in your vows. For example, you could say, "I love you like the musical Cats. Now and forever."
• Be creative: Don't be afraid to get creative and think outside the box. For instance, you could promise to "always be your partner's co-pilot and navigator, and to bring snacks on your road trip through life."

How to make your wedding promises romantic

Writing romantic wedding vows is a challenging but rewarding task. Here are some tips to make your wedding promises more romantic:

Start with "I Love You"

This may seem obvious, but it's easy to forget the basics. Make sure to include "I love you" in your vows, whether at the beginning, end, or somewhere in between.

Reaffirm Your Unwavering Support

Let your partner know that you'll be there for them through thick and thin. Wedding officiant Monique Honaman says, "All marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys. It's nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together."

Share Personal Stories

Recount romantic stories, funny anecdotes, or inspiring narratives about your relationship. These will make your vows more interesting and engaging for your partner and your guests. Alexis Dent, founder of XO Juliet, says, "Guests (and your S.O.) want to hear vows that are real...If you've been through bumpy spots, you should express that."

Include Real Promises

While cute anecdotes are great, remember that vows are also serious, lifelong commitments. Share concrete promises that you intend to keep throughout your marriage. These don't have to be heavy—for example, you can vow to always be the one to kill spiders!

Acknowledge and Request Support from Loved Ones

Your friends and family are there to celebrate with you and will continue to support your marriage. Acknowledge their role in your relationship and call on them for guidance and assistance in the future.

Tips for Writing Romantic Vows:

• Start well in advance—keep your vows in mind throughout your wedding planning journey.
• Discuss your expectations with your partner—agree on length, tone, format, and level of personalization.
• Jot down your thoughts freely, then highlight your favorite parts to include in the final draft.
• Write no more than three drafts to avoid overthinking and losing sight of the bigger picture.
• Include only the most important details—pick moments like the first time you met or said "I love you."
• Avoid absolute words like "always" and "never," as they set unrealistic expectations.
• Embrace sentimentality—don't worry about coming across as corny if your words are heartfelt.
• Seek inspiration from pop culture—movies, books, songs, and TV shows can provide great quotes or ideas.
• Make a fresh copy for the ceremony—present your vows neatly, rather than reading from a scratched-out notepad.
• Stash your vows in a safe place before the wedding, so your partner doesn't see them ahead of time.

How to make your wedding promises unique

The wedding vow exchange is one of the most important parts of your big day. It is a pivotal moment where you and your partner deliver promises to one another that you intend to uphold throughout your married lives. While some couples opt for traditional vows, others decide to write personalised messages to their future spouse.

Share Personal Stories

Recount romantic tales, humorous anecdotes, or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenging times. These stories will make your ceremony more interesting and moving for your guests. They will also provide a deeper look into your love story and allow your personality to shine through.

Include Real Promises

In addition to heartfelt words, make sure to include concrete promises that you plan to uphold throughout your marriage. These pledges can be lighthearted and fun, such as vowing to be the one to kill spiders or always doing the dishes.

Acknowledge Your Loved Ones

Your friends and family have gathered to celebrate your wedding, and their love and support will continue to be important throughout your marriage. Acknowledge their role in enhancing your relationship and call on them for additional support in the future.

Embrace Sentimentality

Don't hold back when it comes to expressing your emotions. If the message feels true to you, don't worry about coming across as corny. Your guests will appreciate the sincerity and authenticity of your words.

Seek Inspiration from Pop Culture

Movies, TV shows, books, and songs are filled with eloquent words and messages about love. Consider incorporating a quote or passage that resonates with you, or use these examples as a starting point for your own unique vows.

Add a Touch of Humour

Your wedding day will be one of the happiest days of your life, so add a touch of humour to your vows to keep things lighthearted and enjoyable. A well-placed joke or witty remark will make the moment more relatable and memorable for your guests.

Remember, your wedding vows should reflect your personality and the unique dynamics of your relationship. Be creative, speak from the heart, and don't be afraid to think outside the box!

Frequently asked questions