The Perfect Backdrop For Your Vows: Choosing A Material For Your Wedding Vow Cards

Writing your own wedding vows is a challenging but rewarding task. It is an opportunity to create promises that resonate with you and your partner, and to vocalise your love and hopes in front of your friends and family. While some couples prefer to utter traditional vows based on their religion or culture, others opt for personalised messages.

If you're unsure where to start, here are some tips to help guide you through the process:

- Discuss expectations with your partner. Agree on the length, tone and content of your vows.

- Start writing well in advance. Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, draft and revise.

- Read examples for inspiration. Look to traditional vows, poetry, books, movies, songs and even video games for ideas.

- Think about your relationship. Reflect on what you love about your partner, memorable moments you've shared and the promises you want to make.

- Include personal stories and anecdotes. These will make your vows more engaging and meaningful.

- Make solid promises. Acknowledge that life won't always be easy, and voice the commitments you plan to uphold through good times and bad.

- Keep it concise. Aim for vows that are around two minutes long. Focus on the most important aspects and save lengthier thoughts for a private letter to your partner.

- Practise reading your vows aloud. This will help with delivery and ensure your vows are clear and well-paced.

- Be authentic. Write vows that sound like you and reflect the unique dynamics of your relationship.

How to start writing your wedding vows

Writing your own wedding vows is a tremendous undertaking. You might feel the pressure to authentically capture your love, hopes, and promises—a feat that may seem impossible. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Start Early

Give yourself ample time to write your vows. Start jotting down your thoughts and feelings about your partner and your relationship. This initial brain dump will allow your feelings to flow freely, and alleviate any pressure to nail the wording right away.

Discuss Expectations

Before you begin writing, consult your partner about your expectations. Agree on the length, tone, content, and format of your vows. You don't want to write lengthy, serious vows only to find out your partner has written something lighthearted and brief.

Read Examples

Look to examples, both real and fictional, for inspiration. Consult friends, scour the internet, and read through our list of vow examples from real couples. You can also watch marriage scenes from your favourite movies and TV shows to see how writers craft vows for fictional characters.

Think About Your Relationship

Take some time to think about what you love about your partner and what makes your relationship special. Write down the most memorable moments you have shared, both good and bad. Think about the promises you want to make to your partner, and which ones you don't.

Edit and Practice

Once you've written your vows, go back and edit for tone and length. Aim for your vows to last about one to three minutes. While your vows can be lighthearted, they should also acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you're about to make. Practice reading your vows aloud to ensure they flow easily, and to help with your delivery on the big day.

Seek Help

If you find yourself struggling to articulate your feelings, consider seeking help from a professional vow-writing company or your wedding officiant.

How to include humour in your vows

Your wedding vows are a reflection of your relationship, and if your relationship is filled with laughter and humour, why wouldn't your vows be, too? Adding humour to your wedding vows is a great way to showcase your personalities and dial down the seriousness of the moment. Here are some tips to help you strike the right balance between humour and sentiment:

Share Stories, Not Jokes

Avoid treating your wedding vows like a stand-up comedy routine. Instead of one-liners, share meaningful stories or anecdotes that will create a lasting impact. Talk about the first time your partner made you laugh uncontrollably or a vacation filled with hilarious memories. Sprinkle in some humour while discussing more serious topics, such as your partner's continuous support and how it has impacted your life. This will make your vows playful without being cliché.

Embrace Humour as a Theme

If your partner's sense of humour is one of the things you love about them, incorporate it as a theme in your vows. Talk about how their sense of humour has been your saving grace during challenging times and share examples of their jokes or impressions that always bring a smile to your face. This way, you can include humour without trying too hard to be funny.

Use Nicknames and Inside Jokes Sparingly

Using nicknames or inside jokes in your vows can add a layer of intimacy and playfulness. However, be mindful of your audience and keep the jokes to a minimum to avoid confusion among guests who may not understand the reference. Opt for inside jokes that are light-hearted and widely relatable, rather than those that might be exclusive to only you and your partner.

Be True to Your Personality

If you're known for being the entertainer in your family or the one who always makes people laugh, embrace that side of your personality in your vows. Record yourself talking about your relationship, partner, and future marriage, and then transcribe and use this material for your vows. This will help capture your natural tone and infuse your vows with authenticity and humour.

Include Family Jokes

While inside jokes between you and your partner may not land with the guests, family jokes can be a great way to include humour in your vows. Choose funny family anecdotes that have been told and retold over the years. Light-hearted rivalries between your families can also be playful topics to include, as long as they are approached with good humour and don't touch on sensitive subjects.

Remember, the key to including humour in your vows is to keep them light-hearted, meaningful, and true to your personality and relationship. Don't be afraid to add a few jokes, but always balance them with heartfelt sentiment and sincere promises.

How to make your vows romantic

Writing romantic wedding vows is a challenging but rewarding task. Here are some tips on how to make your vows romantic:

Start with a declaration of love

Although it may seem obvious, it's easy to forget to include the words "I love you" in your vows. Make sure to express your love for your partner at the beginning, middle, or end of your vows.

Share personal stories

Recount romantic stories, such as how you knew your partner was "the one," or funny accounts of how your first date went wrong. These stories will make your vows more interesting and engaging for your guests.

Make meaningful promises

In addition to sharing your love, make concrete promises that you intend to keep throughout your marriage. For example, you can vow to always support your partner or to be the one to kill spiders. These promises can be lighthearted or serious, but they should be meaningful to you and your partner.

Acknowledge your loved ones

Your friends and family have gathered to celebrate your wedding, and they will continue to be a source of support throughout your marriage. Acknowledge their role in your relationship and ask for their ongoing guidance and support.

Include romantic gestures

Consider including romantic gestures in your vows, such as bringing your partner flowers or making them coffee in the morning. These small acts of love will add a touch of romance to your vows.

Speak from the heart

Ultimately, your vows should sound like you and reflect your unique relationship. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and share your true feelings. Your guests will appreciate the authenticity of your words.

How to end your wedding vows

Ending your wedding vows is an important part of your wedding ceremony. It is the perfect opportunity to reiterate the most poignant parts of your vows before neatly concluding. Here are some tips on how to end your wedding vows:

Reiterate Your Love

As the saying goes, "love is all you need". Ending your vows with a simple "I love you" is a powerful way to express your deepest emotions. This can be done at the beginning or the end of your vows, but ensuring that you include these three words will make your partner and the audience feel the sincerity of your promises.

Declare Your Commitment

After sharing your admiration, aspirations, and promises, it is essential to emphasise your commitment to your partner. You can achieve this by stating how long you intend to keep your promises, such as "for as long as we both shall live" or "until we are parted by death". This declaration reinforces the seriousness and longevity of your vows.

Make a Grand Gesture

If you want to add a touch of creativity or humour to your vows, consider including a grand gesture or a playful promise. For example, you could vow to always put your partner first, even during football season, or to continue taking selfies until you get the Instagram filter right. These unexpected additions can make your vows more lighthearted and entertaining.

Bring It Back to the Beginning

A clever way to end your vows is to bring the focus back to the beginning of your relationship. You could share a memory from when you first met or fell in love, or even recall the moment you knew your partner was "the one". This approach adds a touch of romance and nostalgia to your vows.

Seek Inspiration

If you need some extra inspiration, look to examples from real-life couples or turn to poetry, books, movies, or songs for guidance. You can borrow freely from these sources to craft vows that capture your feelings. Remember, it's okay to seek help from professionals if you need assistance articulating your emotions.

Keep It Short and Sweet

While your vows should be meaningful, try to keep them concise. Aim for a length of around 250 to 300 words, which should take about two minutes to recite. This ensures that your vows are impactful without becoming too lengthy.

Remember, the most important thing is to speak from the heart and be true to yourself. These tips will help you craft wedding vows that are not only memorable but also a true reflection of your love.

How to deliver your vows

Practice makes perfect

Practising will give you the confidence to deliver your vows on the big day. It will also help you to check that your promises are clear and complete. Practise reading your vows out loud and make any changes to the wording or phrasing if you stumble over certain parts.

Indicate pauses and intonation

Your vows are filled with meaning, so speaking quickly and mumbling will detract from the moment and prevent your audience from engaging with the content. Allow time to laugh or tear up without interrupting your flow. Take it slow and focus on breaks, pauses, and intonation.

Ask a trusted friend to listen

Ask a close friend who is a great sounding board (and a pro at keeping secrets) to listen as you rehearse. They can give you constructive criticism and help you improve your vows to make sure you get your meaning across.

Write your vows down

Write your vows in a vow book so you have a keepsake to read from on the wedding day, instead of reading from a sheet of paper or your phone. You could also consider turning your wedding vows into vow art after the wedding to memorialise the nuptials.

Be mindful of your tone

Your vows can be lighthearted, but they should, in some way, acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you’re about to make. Use humour in moderation, and remember, at the end of the day, making the audience laugh is not your goal.

Frequently asked questions