Rsvp Etiquette: Crafting The Perfect Wedding Response

Writing a wedding RSVP can be a daunting task, but it's an important part of the wedding planning process. The RSVP, derived from the French phrase Répondez s'il vous plaît, gives guests the opportunity to confirm their attendance or regret their inability to attend the wedding. It is crucial for finalising the guest list, creating a seating plan, and confirming the budget. Here are some key tips to consider when writing a wedding RSVP:

- Respond promptly and before the due date. It is important to respect the timeline provided by the couple and not wait until the last minute to respond.

- Be mindful of the plus-one invitation. If you are allocated a plus-one, it will be clearly indicated on the invitation. If not, it is courteous to attend without a guest.

- Only RSVP if you are certain about your attendance. Once you respond, the couple will make arrangements accordingly, so it's important to be sure about your plans before replying.

- Respect the couple's wishes regarding children. If they have specified a child-free event, it's important to honour their decision.

- Follow the instructions provided. Pay attention to the details and respond through the specified channel, whether it's via a response card, wedding website, or email.

- Include all necessary information. Provide your full name, attendance confirmation, dietary requirements, and any other details requested by the couple.

- Maintain a polite and respectful tone. Whether you are accepting or declining the invitation, it's important to express your response graciously.

Include a blank line for guests to write their names

Including a blank line for guests to write their names is an important feature of wedding RSVP cards. This guarantees that you know who is attending your wedding and ensures you can correctly spell everyone's name on the seating chart. On a formal RSVP card, it is customary to write an "M" at the start of the line to indicate that guests should include their honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name.

It is also worth noting that guests sometimes forget to write their names on the response cards. To avoid confusion, you can use invisible black light ink to write the guests' initials on the back of each RSVP card. Alternatively, you can write a unique number on the back of each card, correlating with your guest's name on your wedding spreadsheet.

The blank line for guests' names is just one component of the RSVP card. Other essential elements include the RSVP deadline, the "accept" and "decline" options, the number of guests attending, dietary requirements, and a space for song requests.

Add an Accept or Decline section

The primary purpose of an RSVP card is to learn who is coming to your wedding. So, after a blank line for guests to write their names, the next section should be the attendance line where guests can accept or decline your invite. This could be formatted as checkboxes, circling, or fill-in-the-blank lines. You could use a variety of phrasing for this section, such as:

• Accept // Decline
• Accepts with Pleasure // Declines with Regret
• Joyfully Accepts // Regretfully Declines
• Attending // Not Attending
• Let’s Party // I’m Missing Out
• Can’t Wait // Can’t Come
• Toasting // Toasting from Afar
• Wouldn’t Miss it for the World // I’ll Be There in Spirit
• Oh Yeah! // Boo, Can’t Make it!

An accurate guest count is vital to completing your wedding planning checklist, so the sooner you know who's coming, the better. Set an RSVP deadline of around three to four weeks before your wedding date to give yourselves and your vendors plenty of time to coordinate those last-minute details. Your RSVP deadline should be featured in a prominent place on the card and you could even make it the largest text for added emphasis.

Ask for meal preferences and dietary requirements

When it comes to asking for meal preferences and dietary requirements on your wedding RSVP, there are a few key things to keep in mind. Firstly, you'll want to confirm your reception dinner menu before sending out your invitations. This way, you can provide your guests with entrée options to choose from. It's important to offer a variety of options to accommodate different dietary needs, such as vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, or allergen-free meals.

On your RSVP card, you can include a line that says something like "Please initial your meal choice:" followed by a list of options. For example, you can have "_ of _ attending" with the first blank space for guests to fill in their initials and the second blank space pre-filled with the number of guests invited from that party. This ensures that you receive a meal preference for each guest.

Additionally, you can include a separate line for dietary restrictions. This can be a simple "Dietary Restrictions:" line where guests can write down any specific requirements, such as "gluten-free" or "nut allergy." Alternatively, you can provide checkboxes for common dietary restrictions, such as "vegetarian," "vegan," "gluten-free," and so on. If you're offering a buffet, you can also allow guests to specify their dietary restrictions in this section.

[_ of _ attending]

Please initial your meal choice:

[] Chicken

[] Beef

[] Vegetarian

Dietary Restrictions:

By including these details on your RSVP card, you can easily collect the information you need to accommodate your guests' meal preferences and dietary requirements. This will help you finalise the details with your caterers and ensure that everyone has a enjoyable dining experience at your wedding.

Include a special request line

Including a special request line on your wedding RSVP cards is a great way to make your guests smile and get them involved in the planning process. It's also a fun way to gather some extra information that might be useful for your big day. Here are some ideas for what to include in this section:

Song Requests

Asking your guests to request their favourite songs is a fantastic way to get them excited about the reception. It also provides valuable input for your DJ or band, who can use the information to create a playlist that appeals to everyone's tastes. This can be especially helpful if you're worried your guests might not be keen dancers. You could even ask for a specific song that will get them on the dance floor.

Drink Preferences

If you're stocking your own bar, it can be tricky to know how much alcohol to buy and what types of drinks to provide. Including a special request line for drinks allows your guests to tell you their preferences. This can help you ensure that everyone has something they like to sip on throughout the night. It's also a good way to find out if any of your guests have allergies or dietary restrictions that affect their drink choices.

Favourite Memories or Relationship Advice

Including a special request line for favourite memories is a heartwarming way to involve your guests in celebrating your relationship. It can prompt them to share funny stories, touching moments, or wise advice that will make your wedding day even more meaningful. These memories can also be turned into a game or activity during the reception, providing entertainment for everyone.

Arrival Dates and Accommodation

If you're having a destination wedding or expecting many out-of-town guests, you might want to ask about their travel plans. Including a special request line for arrival dates and accommodation choices can help you coordinate airport pickups or recommend places to stay. This information can also be useful for planning welcome events or activities before the wedding.

Dietary Restrictions or Allergies

While you may already be planning to include a section for dietary restrictions or allergies related to the wedding meal, there might be additional considerations. For example, guests with severe allergies may need to be accommodated throughout the entire event, including at the cocktail hour or late-night snack. Asking about these details can help you ensure their comfort and safety.

Provide an RSVP deadline

Setting an RSVP deadline is crucial to finalising the wedding guest list and ensuring a smooth planning process. Here are some tips and suggestions for providing an RSVP deadline:

• Ideal Timeline: Aim for a deadline that is three to four weeks before the wedding. This timing ensures that your guests don't feel pressured to respond immediately, but it's also not too close to the wedding date. This timeline also allows for a buffer in case some guests respond late.
• Caterer and Venue Requirements: Typically, caterers and venues will request a final headcount one to two weeks before the wedding. Therefore, work backward from their deadline and set your RSVP deadline accordingly. This will give you enough time to gather responses and provide an accurate headcount to your vendors.
• Send Invitations Early: It is recommended to send out wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests a window of about one month to respond. Sending invitations early also increases the chances of receiving timely responses.
• Be Clear and Prominent: Ensure that the RSVP deadline is clearly stated and prominently featured on the invitation or response card. Use a legible font, and consider making the deadline the largest text on the card. This ensures that guests don't overlook the important date.
• Digital Alternatives: While traditional mail-in response cards are common, offering digital alternatives can increase response rates. Include an option for guests to RSVP via your wedding website or provide an email address for responses. This caters to guests who may not use postal mail regularly.
• Grace Period: After the RSVP deadline passes, allow for a short grace period before following up with guests who haven't responded. This period can be a day or two, after which you can start reaching out to delinquent guests.
• Destination Weddings: For destination weddings, a different timeline applies. Set the RSVP deadline for destination weddings about two months before the wedding, and send out invitations approximately four months in advance. This longer lead time accounts for travel arrangements and ensures that guests have ample time to plan their attendance.
• Reminders: Consider sending gentle reminders to your guests a week or so before the RSVP deadline. A friendly reminder can help ensure that your guests don't forget to respond and reduce the number of delinquent responses you need to chase down later.

Frequently asked questions