Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Addressing Cards For Families With Kids

Addressing wedding invitations can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to including children on the guest list. The traditional way to word invitations when inviting an entire family is to list the children's names on the inner envelope but not the outer one. The outer envelope is reserved for the names of the parents or guardians, while each child is listed individually on the inner envelope. This approach ensures that the invitation feels personal to each family member while maintaining a sense of formality and elegance.

Outer envelope: Address to parents only

When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, if the children in the family are over 18, they should each receive their own invitation. This also applies to children over 18 who are still living with their parents.

If the children are under 18, their names should only be listed on the inner envelope, not the outer envelope. Boys under 18 do not require a title, while girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". When listing the children's names, they should be listed in order of age, with the oldest first.

Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

Or:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

If you don't want to list the names of individual family members, you can simply address the invitation to the entire family, for example:

Outer envelope: "The Simpson Family"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie"

Inner envelope: List children's names

When inviting a family with children to a wedding, the general rule is to list the parents' names on the outer envelope and the children's names on the inner envelope. This is because the outer envelope is more formal, while the inner envelope is slightly more casual.

If the children are under 18, they should be listed on the inner envelope only, not the outer envelope. Boys under 18 do not require a title, while girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". Children over 18 should be sent a separate invitation.

Outer envelope:

• "The Thompson Family"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"
• "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

Inner envelope:

• "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

If you are using only one envelope, you can simply address it to "The Thompson Family" or list all the family members' names, including the children.

Formal vs informal: Use titles and full names for formality

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to consider the formality of the event and the level of tradition you want to convey. Here are some tips for using titles and full names to set the tone for your wedding:

Formal Wedding Invitation Etiquette:

• Spell out everything, including dates and times, and avoid using abbreviations.
• Use British spellings, such as “honour” instead of “honor” and “favour” instead of “favor”.
• Include middle names and titles for all individuals. Titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", "Ms.", and "Mx." are commonly used.
• For doctors, spell out the title "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it as "Dr." on the inner envelope.
• When addressing a married couple with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first.
• When addressing a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the names are too long, list them separately.
• For unmarried couples living at the same address, include both names on one line, listing the person you are closest to first or in alphabetical order.
• When inviting an entire family, list only the parents' names on the outer envelope and include the children's names on the inner envelope. This indicates that the children are also invited.
• For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" as a title, while boys don't need a title until they are 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.".

Informal Wedding Invitation Etiquette:

• Feel free to use abbreviations, modern wording layouts, and fun formatting for dates and years.
• You don't have to use full names and can opt for a more casual tone.
• Casual addressing can use first names only, such as "Noah and Sara McCarthy" instead of more formal titles and surnames.

Remember, the wedding invitation is your guests' first impression of your special day, so choose a style that aligns with the tone and formality you wish to convey.

Age-specific: Girls under 18 can be addressed as 'Miss'

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to follow certain guidelines to ensure your guests feel welcome and respected. Here are some tips for addressing girls under 18 as "Miss" on the invitations:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is typically reserved for the names of the parents or guardians and should follow formal etiquette. When inviting an entire family with children under 18, you have a few options:

• "The [Last Name] Family"
• "Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] and [Mother's First Name] [Last Name]"
• If the parents have different last names, you can write: "Mr. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name], Mrs. [Mother's First Name] [Mother's Last Name] & Family"

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, and this is where you would list the names of the children. For girls under 18, you can address them as "Miss" followed by their first name. For example:

• "Miss [First Name]"
• "Miss [First Name] [Last Name]"

Including each child's name on the inner envelope is a nice touch and makes them feel specifically invited. However, if you prefer a more concise approach, you can simply write "and Family" on the inner envelope.

Remember, if you don't include the children's names on the inner envelope, it may be interpreted as them not being invited. So, if your wedding is adults-only, be sure to clarify this with your guests.

Etiquette: Avoid children's names on outer envelope to imply they're not invited

When inviting an entire family to a wedding, it is generally considered polite to only list the parents' names on the outer envelope, and the children's names on the inner envelope. This is because, traditionally, only the people whose names are on the outer envelope are formally invited.

However, this can be a delicate issue, as some parents may assume that their children are invited even if their names are not included. To avoid any confusion, it is recommended that you clearly state on the invitation that the wedding is adults-only. This can be done by including a simple line such as "Adults only" or "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow" on the invitation, response card, or wedding website.

Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Peter, Paul, and Mary"

If any of the children are 18 or older, they should receive their own invitations.

Frequently asked questions