Crafting The Perfect Wedding Invitation Card Message

Writing wedding invitations can be a tricky task, but it's important to get it right as they are one of the first things guests will see, setting the tone for the big day. The good news is that the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not that complicated. The primary rule is to create a beautiful wedding invitation that represents you, your partner, and the day to come, while also communicating the vital details of the wedding.

The key elements to include in your wedding invitation are: a request to come to the wedding, the names of the couple, reception information, and an RSVP date and contact. The wording can be formal, casual, or creative, depending on your preference and the style of your wedding.

> Mr. and Mrs. John L. Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their son Jack Alexander to Mason Jacob Kim Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four at [venue name and address] Reception to follow

And here is an example of casual wedding invitation wording:

> Jack Alexander Smith & Mason Jacob Kim invite you to share in their joy at their wedding Saturday, August 17, 2024 at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address] Reception to follow

How to word the request to come to the wedding

There are many ways to word the request for guests to come to your wedding. Here are some examples:

• "The pleasure of your company is requested"
• "We request the honour of your presence"
• "We request the pleasure of your company"
• "We joyfully request the pleasure of your company"
• "We request your presence"
• "We invite you to celebrate with us"
• "We would love for you to join us"
• "We invite you to share in our joy"
• "We invite you to share in our celebration"
• "We invite you to witness our marriage"
• "We invite you to be with us as we exchange our vows"

The wording you choose can be tailored to the formality of your wedding. For example, "The honour of your presence" is traditionally used to denote a religious service, whereas "The pleasure of your company" is used for non-religious ceremonies.

Additionally, if the bride's parents are hosting, their names would typically come first, followed by the request line. However, it is becoming more common for couples to host their own weddings or to host together with their parents. In these cases, the request line can be combined with the host line, for example:

"Together with their families, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company"

The names of the couple

Traditional Approach:

For a traditional and formal invitation, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Smith" or "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Joseph Smith" if you know his middle name. This approach is quite old-fashioned and may not sit well with modern couples, especially if the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name.

Modern Approach:

A more modern and inclusive approach is to list each partner separately, even if they have the same last name. You can write their full names with their respective titles, such as "Mr. Alejandro Hernandez and Mrs. Tatiana Hernandez." If space is a concern, you can shorten it to "Mr. Alejandro and Mrs. Tatiana Hernandez." This approach also works well if the couple has different last names or if the wife has hyphenated her last name to include her maiden name. For example, "Mr. Brian Jackson and Mrs. Tiffany Brown-Jackson."

Alphabetical Order:

If you don't know the couple equally well, it is appropriate to list the person you are closest to first, followed by their partner. However, if you are equally close to both, you can simply go in alphabetical order by last name. This approach works for both opposite-sex and same-sex couples. For a same-sex couple, you can write "Mr. Adam and Mr. Bruce Acheson." For an opposite-sex couple, you could write "Mrs. Sarah Rossi and Mr. Chris Rossi."

First Names Only:

If you are close to the couple, you may choose to use only their first names on the inner envelope, which is less formal. For example, "Michael and Kim" or even "Uncle Pat and Aunt Rosa" if you have a family relationship with them.

Children's Names:

If you are also inviting the children of the couple, their names are typically listed on the inner envelope after their parents' names. For a formal invitation, you can write "Mr. and Mrs. Dietrich, Sarah, John, and Shirley." For a more casual approach, simply use everyone's first names.

Remember to always use the couple's preferred titles and pronouns, especially if one or both partners are transgender or non-binary. Some non-binary people may prefer the gender-neutral title "Mx." It is always best to ask the couple about their preferred titles and pronouns if you are unsure.

The date and time

Writing the Date:

• Spell out the date: Traditionally, the date is spelled out in full rather than using numerals. For example, if your wedding is on Saturday, October 26th, 2024, you would write, "Saturday, the twenty-sixth of October two thousand twenty-four".
• Capitalization: The day of the week and the month are capitalized, while the year and numerical date are not. For example, "Saturday, the Twenty-Eighth of May".
• Compound Dates: For dates from the 21st to the 31st of a month, use a hyphen between the tens and the ones place. For example, "the twenty-ninth of June".
• Year Format: The year is usually written as "two thousand eighteen" or "two thousand and eighteen". Avoid using "and" in the year, and there is no need to capitalize any letters.
• Comma Usage: Use a comma after the day of the week and before the date. For example, "Saturday, the twenty-ninth of April".
• Flexibility: While the traditional format is common, you can also choose to write the date more informally, especially for casual weddings. For instance, you can write "Saturday, May 17th, 2025".

Writing the Time:

• Spell Out the Time: For formal invitations, spell out the time in full, indicating the placement of hands on a clock. For example, if your wedding begins at 3:30 p.m., write "half after three o'clock".
• Use of "O'clock": Include "o'clock" when writing the time for hours on the hour. For example, "four o'clock". It is generally acceptable to drop "o'clock" for half hours.
• Morning, Afternoon, or Evening: Clarify the time of day by specifying "in the morning", "in the afternoon", or "in the evening". For instance, "eleven o'clock in the morning". Avoid using AM or PM.
• Noon and Midnight: Simply write "noon" or "midnight" without adding "o'clock".
• Informal Options: For more casual weddings, you can use numerals and write the time as "4pm" or "5:30pm". Ensure that the formality of the time matches the format of the date.
• Reception Timing: If your reception follows the ceremony immediately in the same location, you can simply write "reception to follow" at the bottom of the invitation. For receptions at a different time or location, include a separate reception card with the details.

The location

Providing Location Details:

• Venue Name and Address: Include the name of the wedding venue, followed by the full street address, including the city, state, and zip code. For international destinations, be sure to mention the country as well.
• Abolishing Ambiguity: Avoid confusion by being explicit about the specific spaces within the venue, such as "In the Chapel" or "On the Lawn."
• Time-zone Awareness: If your wedding is taking place in a different time zone, be mindful of this when listing the time to ensure guests arrive at the correct hour.
• Clarity over Creativity: While creative and whimsical invitations are charming, ensure the location details are clear and unambiguous.

Examples of Wedding Location Wording:

• Traditional Formal: "at half after four o'clock at [venue name and address]" or "on Saturday, the sixteenth of October two thousand and ten at four o'clock in the afternoon at Our Lady of the Sacred Heart, Randwick."
• Casual and Contemporary: "Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address]."
• Destination Weddings: For weddings abroad, remember to include the country: "Saturday, 17 August 2024, at 4:30 p.m. at The Ritz-Carlton, Bachelor Gulch, Beaver Creek, Colorado, USA."
• Multiple Venues: If the ceremony and reception are at different locations, provide the full address for each: "Ceremony at [address] at 4 p.m., followed by a reception at [address]."
• Omission of Street Address: In certain contexts, the street address may be omitted, especially for well-known venues: "at the Ritz-Carlton, followed by a reception at the Argyle, The Rocks, Sydney."
• Including a Map: Consider including a small map on a separate insert or card within the invitation suite, especially for remote or complex locations.

Remember, the location wording should align with the tone and formality of your wedding invitation. Whether traditional or contemporary, ensure your guests have all the information they need to confidently navigate their way to your special day.

Reception information

The reception details should include the location and address of the reception venue, the start and end times, and any relevant dress code. If the ceremony and reception are held at the same venue, you can simply write "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow". If the reception is at a different location, include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate details card.

If the reception is not immediately following the ceremony, include the start time so guests know what to expect. For example, you could write:

> "Cocktails, dinner and dancing to follow at [address]"

If you want to be more creative, you could write:

> "The celebration continues with cocktails, dinner and dancing at [address]"

> "Please join us for drinks, dinner and merriment at [address]"

> "Celebrate with us for drinks, dinner and dancing at [address]"

If the ceremony and reception are on different days or weeks, you could write:

> " [Names of couple] request the pleasure of your company for a reception in celebration of their new marriage"

> "The newlyweds [Names of couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage"

If the reception is at the same venue but not immediately following the ceremony, you could write:

> "Reception immediately following at [address]"

If the reception is at a different venue, you could write:

> "Reception to follow at [address]"

If you are not serving a full meal, you could write:

> "Join us after the ceremony for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing at [address]"

> "Cake, punch, and merriment to follow at [address]"

> "Feasting and merriment to follow at [address]"

> "Dining, dancing, and happily ever after to follow at [address]"

Frequently asked questions