Crafting Wedding Invitations: Names Of Family Members

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to family members, there are a few guidelines to follow. The outer envelope should be formal, with the recipient's full name and title included. For married couples, it is customary to use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name. However, this can be altered to include the wife's name as well, especially if the couple prefers this. For unmarried couples, each person's name should be listed on a separate line, with the person you are closest to listed first. Children's names are typically included on the inner envelope, unless they are not invited. It is important to note that not including children's names on the invitation may still result in guests assuming their children are welcome, so clear communication is key.

How to address a married couple on a wedding invitation

When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few things to keep in mind. Here are some detailed instructions to ensure your invitations are both proper and respectful.

Outer Envelope Addressing:

The outer envelope is what the mail carrier will see, so it should be addressed formally and include the full names and titles of the married couple. Here are some examples:

• For a heterosexual couple with the same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple prefers an equal representation of both partners' names, you can write: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
• For a heterosexual couple with different last names: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• For a same-sex couple with the same last name: Either name can go first. For example: "Mr. and Mr. Thomas Warren".
• For a same-sex couple with different last names: List the names in alphabetical order or based on whom you are closest to. For example: "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell".

Inner Envelope Addressing:

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have more flexibility with the wording. Here are some options:

• For couples with the same last name: You can use titles and last names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren", or just use their first names, like "Thomas and Michelle".
• For couples with different last names: You can use titles and last names, such as "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez", or first names, like "Maria and David".
• For a same-sex couple with the same last name: Use titles and last names, such as "Mr. and Mr. Warren", or first names, like "Thomas and John".
• For a same-sex couple with different last names: Use titles and last names, such as "Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell", or first names, like "Celine and Jacqueline".

Additional Tips:

• If one or both individuals have a distinguished title, such as a doctor, military rank, or judge, this should be noted on the outer envelope. For example: "Doctor Tami Takata and Mr. David Estevez" or "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly".
• When addressing the inner envelope, you can use just the titles and last names, such as "Dr. Takata and Mr. Estevez" or "Lieutenant Kelly and Mrs. Kelly", or you can use first names only if you are very close to the couple, like "Tami and David".
• If one of the individuals has a hyphenated last name, list their name last. For example, on the outer envelope: "Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer". On the inner envelope: "Mr. Dwyer and Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer" or "Andy and April".

How to address an unmarried couple on a wedding invitation

When addressing an unmarried couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles for each person, such as "Mr.", "Ms.", "Miss", or "Mx.". If you are unsure about a guest's preferred title, it is best to ask them directly.

For the outer envelope, the general format is to list the names of both people on the same line, with the person you are closest to, or the person whose name comes first alphabetically, listed first. For example: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee". If the combined names are too long, you can list them separately, either on the same line with "and" in between, or on separate lines.

For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use titles and last names, or just first names if you are very close to the couple. For example: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda".

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is best to send separate invitations to each person.

How to address a single person on a wedding invitation

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, it's important to use their preferred title. If you're unsure, it's best to leave out the title altogether. For invitations with a plus-one, it's best to mention both people by name if you have that information. If you don't know the name of the plus-one, you can simply write " [Name] and Guest" on the inner envelope.

Example One: Without a Plus-One

Outer envelope: Ms. Ali Johnson

Inner envelope: Ms. Johnson

Example Two: With a Plus-One

Outer envelope: Mx. Sam Li

Inner envelope: Sam Li and Guest

Example Three: Single Male, Without a Plus-One

Outer envelope: Mr. James Montgomery

Inner envelope: Mr. Montgomery or James

Example Four: Single Male, With a Plus-One

Outer envelope: Mr. James Montgomery

Inner envelope: James Montgomery and Guest

Example Five: Single Female, Without a Plus-One

Outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen or Miss Stephanie Chen (if she is under 18)

Inner envelope: Ms. Chen, Miss Chen, or Stephanie

Example Six: Single Female, With a Plus-One

Outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen

Inner envelope: Ms. Chen and Guest or Stephanie and Guest

How to address a widow on a wedding invitation

When addressing a widow on a wedding invitation, it is important to be mindful of her preferences and comfort. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Using the Appropriate Title

It is generally considered appropriate to address a widow as "Mrs." along with her married last name, if she chose to take her spouse's surname. However, there are a few exceptions to this rule. If the widow has legally reverted to her maiden name, has been widowed for a considerable amount of time, or is remarried or currently in a relationship, it is advisable to confirm her preferred title before finalising the invitation.

Formal vs Informal Addressing

When sending casual correspondence, such as thank-you notes or invitations to informal events, a less formal salutation can be used. For example, "Mrs." followed by the widow's first name and married last name. Alternatively, you may choose to omit the "Mrs." or "Ms." and simply write her full name.

For formal correspondence, like a wedding invitation, it is customary to use the traditional, formal format. This typically involves addressing the widow as "Mrs." followed by her husband's first and last name, e.g., "Mrs. Reginald Thompson". However, if this feels uncomfortable or inappropriate, depending on your relationship or the level of formality of your event, you may opt to use her full name. This approach is also suitable for women who were in non-heterosexual marriages, as the "husband's name" format would not apply.

Contacting the Widow for Confirmation

If you are unsure about the widow's preferred title and name, the best approach is to contact her directly. This shows consideration for her feelings and ensures that you address her respectfully. It also demonstrates that you value her presence at your wedding. If her spouse's passing is recent, it may be sensitive to ask about her title preference, so consider the timing and your relationship with the widow before reaching out.

Addressing the Envelope

When addressing the envelope, follow the standard format for wedding invitations. Write the widow's title and name in the centre of the envelope, leaving space below for additional guests or the sending address. For formal invitations, use full names and titles, while for informal invitations, you may use first names only.

Inviting the Widow's Children

If you are inviting the widow's children who share her last name, address the widow as "Mrs." followed by her married last name. This maintains consistency and ensures the invitation is directed to the entire family.

In summary, when addressing a widow on a wedding invitation, it is essential to be respectful, sensitive, and mindful of her preferences. Using her full name and title, "Mrs.", is generally appropriate, but confirming her preference is ideal. For formal invitations, follow traditional formats, while informal events allow for more flexibility in salutation styles.

How to address a same-sex couple on a wedding invitation

When addressing a same-sex couple on a wedding invitation, you can follow some standard etiquette rules. Here is a step-by-step guide:

Using Formal Titles:

• For two men who are married, use "Mr." for both, followed by their first and last names. You can list the last name once, or write out both their full names. For example, "Mr. John and Mr. David Graham."
• For two women who are married, use "Mrs." for both, followed by their first and last names. Similarly, you can choose to write out both their full names or list the last name once. For instance, "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Clint."
• As an alternative, you can use the plural forms "Messrs." for a male couple and "Mesdames" or "Mmes." for a female couple, followed by their shared last name.
• If one member of the couple is a doctor, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" before their name, followed by their partner's name. For example, "Dr. Rob Jones and Mr. Ryan Jones."
• If both members of the couple are doctors, you can address them as "Doctors" followed by their names, such as "Doctors Maria and Laura Constantine."

Ordering the Names:

• When sending an invitation, list the person you are primarily inviting first, followed by their partner's name. For example, "Mr. Roger Gonzalez and Mr. Alex Gonzalez."
• If you can't decide on the order, list the names alphabetically. Write the name starting with the letter that comes earlier in the alphabet first. For instance, "Mr. Adam Irvine and Mr. Bob Irvine."
• If you don't have a preference, feel free to choose whichever name you think sounds better or more natural. Just try to maintain consistency in the order across different materials, such as the invitation and envelope.

Additional Considerations:

• If the same-sex couple has different last names, include both their full names in the address. For example, "Mr. Robert Stewson and Mr. Greg Johnson."
• When in doubt, don't hesitate to ask the couple about their preferred form of address. They will likely appreciate your thoughtfulness and willingness to respect their preference.

Frequently asked questions