Only Adults Allowed: Planning A Kid-Free Wedding

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on the guest list. If you're looking to have an adults-only wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to be clear and consistent about your parameters. Decide on an age rule and stick to it – for example, no guests under 16. Be mindful of exceptions, especially for children in the wedding party or immediate family. Communicate your rule clearly to family and wedding party members to avoid any confusion. When addressing invitations, only include the names of invited guests and consider adding a note like Adult (18 and older) reception to follow. If you're worried about causing offence, you can provide a subtle hint by limiting the number of RSVPs per family. You can also include a FAQ page on your wedding website, stating that while you love children, you want your guests to be able to relax and enjoy themselves without worry.

Adults-only on the wedding invites

Deciding on an adults-only wedding can be a tricky conversation to have with your guests, but it is your special day, and you are well within your rights to decide what's best for you and your spouse. Here are some tips and suggestions for making your wedding an adults-only event, with a focus on the invitation wording.

The Invitation Wording

The best solution to addressing your invitations clearly is to use a name band. These are paper wraps digitally printed with your guest names and wrapped around your invitations. They allow you to list the names of each invited guest, avoiding any 'plus ones' and making it clear if children are invited. If name bands are outside your budget, include a little note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards.

Short Wording Suggestions

These shorter examples are perfect for including on your invitation or response card:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock"
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration"
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow"
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception"
• "Adults-only reception"
• "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony"

Long Wording Suggestions

These examples are suitable for messages included on information cards, and the longer explanations can help clarify your preferences. If your wedding is out of town, include information about babysitting (where possible) to help your guests make arrangements:

• "Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair"
• "The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception"
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please"
• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children"
• "Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend"
• "To allow all wedding guests, including parents, a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry, we respectfully ask that no children attend the reception"
• "We love your kids but thought you might like a night off. Adults only please!"

Be Clear and Consistent

The best thing you can do is be clear and consistent about the parameters. If you've decided on an adults-only wedding, don't make exceptions. Decide exactly what qualifies someone as an "adult". Be firm unless a guest is nursing an infant. If you want to include ring bearers and flower girls, make it known that only children in the wedding party will be in attendance.

Other Ways to Communicate

There are ways to allude to an adult-only wedding in your invitation wording. You could mention an "intimate ceremony" or "cocktail reception" taking place at a "luxury hotel" or "downtown nightclub". Guests should understand that these venues aren't child-friendly. Be sure to address your envelopes properly, too—only the people listed on the inner envelopes are invited to the wedding.

No kids rule on the wedding website

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on a guest list. If you're opting for an adults-only wedding, it's important to communicate this clearly and politely to your guests. Here are some tips and suggestions for wording your wedding website to ensure your guests are well informed about your no-kids rule:

Be Clear and Consistent:

It's important to be clear and consistent with your adults-only policy. Make sure your wedding website includes a brief mention of the fact that children are not invited to the wedding or reception. You can include this information on an FAQ page or a details page. Here are some examples of what you could say:

• "Can we bring kids? Unfortunately, we have decided to make our big day an adults-only event."
• "We love your little ones, but please note that our wedding reception is adults-only."
• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "The bride and groom request an adults-only reception."

Provide an Explanation:

It can be helpful to provide a brief explanation for your no-kids rule to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some examples:

• "Due to venue restrictions, limited space, or budget constraints, we are unable to accommodate children."
• "We want to ensure all our guests, including parents, have a fantastic time without worrying about their kids."
• "We want to give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate and relax without having to worry about little eyes and ears."

Be Considerate to Guests with Children:

If you're having a destination wedding or know that many of your guests will be travelling, consider offering to help with childcare arrangements. You could offer a trusted caregiver or babysitting service to watch over the children during the wedding. This will make it easier for your guests with children to attend and show that you're thoughtful and considerate of their needs.

Address Invitations Properly:

When sending out invitations, be sure to address them only to the adults who are invited. For example, use "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" instead of "The Chavez Family." This helps to reinforce the adults-only policy and avoids any confusion.

Be Prepared for Declines:

Keep in mind that some guests may decline your invitation due to your no-kids policy. They may be unable to find a sitter or may prefer not to attend without their children. It's important to respect their decision and not take it personally.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you have the right to decide who is invited. As long as you communicate your adults-only policy clearly and politely, your guests will be well informed and can plan accordingly.

Be direct and polite if there's confusion

It's important to be direct and polite if there's any confusion about your adults-only wedding. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sensitive topic:

Be Clear and Consistent:

From the very beginning, ensure that your guests know your wedding is adults-only. This includes being clear on your save-the-dates, invitations, and wedding website. Address your invitations only to the invited guests, using names instead of "The [Last Name] Family." If you're worried about confusion, include "adults-only" on the invitations and specify the number of invited guests on the RSVP cards.

FAQ Page:

On your wedding website, create an FAQ page and include the question, "Can we bring kids?" Clearly state your preference for an adults-only event and provide a valid reason, such as venue restrictions, space limitations, or your desire for a relaxed atmosphere. You can also offer suggestions for local babysitting services or caregivers to assist your guests in making arrangements.

Spread the Word:

Inform your bridal party, family, and close friends about your decision to have an adults-only wedding. They can help spread the word and answer any questions from other guests. This way, you ensure that your decision is communicated consistently and respectfully.

Have Difficult Conversations:

If you receive RSVPs for the entire family, don't hesitate to pick up the phone and clarify that the invitation is only for the parents. Be prepared to explain your reasons, whether it's the adult-centric nature of the event, venue restrictions, or budget constraints. If guests express disappointment or frustration, respectfully stand your ground and reiterate your decision.

Be Firm but Compassionate:

If guests ask for exceptions or try to switch invitees, remain firm in your decision. Explain that it's about the type of event you're hosting and that you're unable to accommodate children. Offer alternative options, such as recommending local babysitting services or suggesting they reach out to other guests to make arrangements for their children.

Avoid Calling Out Specific Children:

When communicating your adults-only request, keep your language general and diplomatic. Avoid making personal comments about individual children or sharing negative sentiments about kids in general. This will help you avoid any hurt feelings or unnecessary drama.

Make a rule and stick to it

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is one of the most difficult parts of wedding planning. If you've decided that you want an adults-only wedding, it's important to make a rule about who qualifies as an "adult" and stick to it. Here are some tips to help you communicate your adults-only wedding vision clearly and effectively:

Define "Adults-Only"

Decide on the minimum age for guests to qualify as "adults". Some couples choose 18, while others prefer the legal drinking age of 21. Be consistent with this rule and ensure that it is communicated clearly to your guests.

Be Clear and Consistent

When addressing your wedding invitations, only include the names of the adult guests who are invited. Avoid addressing the invitation to “The Smith Family” and instead use the names of the invited adults: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". This will help to avoid any confusion and set the expectation that children are not included in the invitation.

Use "Adults-Only" Wording

If you want to be explicit, you can include a note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards indicating that the event is for adults only. Simple wording such as "Adults-only reception" or "Children over 16 years of age only" can be added at the bottom of the invitation or response card. Longer explanations can be included on information cards to soften the message and provide clarity to your guests.

Create a Wedding Website

Most couples have wedding websites that provide details about their upcoming wedding. Include an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" Clearly state that while you love children, you want your guests to be able to relax and enjoy themselves without worrying about their little ones. You can also provide information about local babysitting services or family-friendly attractions for guests who may still travel with their children.

Inform Your Close Family and Wedding Party

Recruit your wedding party and immediate family to help spread the word about your adults-only wedding. They can answer any questions from other guests and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations

Despite your best efforts, some guests may still be confused or upset about the adults-only rule. Be ready to have difficult conversations and politely explain your reasons, whether it's budget or space constraints, or concerns about interruptions during the ceremony. If a guest insists on bringing their children, respectfully stand your ground and let them know that you cannot make any exceptions.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you have the right to decide what's best for you and your partner. By being clear, consistent, and considerate in your communication, you can successfully navigate the adults-only wedding waters and ensure that your special day is enjoyed by all who attend.

Be considerate to out-of-town guests with children

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on a guest list. If you're planning on having an adults-only wedding, it's important to consider how this might affect your out-of-town guests with children. Here are some ways to be considerate towards them:

Offer Childcare Solutions

Provide a trusted caregiver or babysitter for the children of your immediate family members and wedding party. This will make things easier for adults who are travelling or need to stay close to their little ones. You could also suggest a local babysitting agency or childcare provider. Having someone close by, either in an extra room at the venue or in a hotel room, will put parents' minds at ease.

Allow Children at the Rehearsal Dinner

If your pre-wedding events are informal, such as an outdoor barbecue or a casual get-together, consider allowing children to attend. This will make the kids feel more involved and make it easier for parents to leave them for your wedding day.

Provide Information on Your Wedding Website

Include an FAQ page on your wedding website and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" Clearly state your preference for an adults-only wedding while also providing information on any childcare options you are offering. This will help parents make the necessary arrangements.

Be Clear and Consistent

When addressing your invitations, only include the names of the adult guests. Avoid addressing the invitation to "The [Last Name] Family". If you're worried that some guests won't get the hint, you can also include "adults only" on the wedding invitations or specify the number of guests on the RSVP cards.

Stock Up on Child Essentials

If you know that some guests will be bringing their children, despite your adults-only request, make sure to stock up on child essentials. Childproof your home by covering electrical outlets and locking away any hazardous items. Provide a safety gate if there are stairs, and purchase a few toys to make the children feel welcome. You could also stock up on extra diapers, wipes, and child-friendly toiletries.

Frequently asked questions