Writing The Perfect Wedding Check: A Guide To Gifting Etiquette

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Writing a check as a wedding gift can be tricky. While it's a thoughtful gesture, it can also feel impersonal. There are a few things to keep in mind to ensure your gift is meaningful and can be easily deposited by the happy couple. Firstly, it's best to write the check to only one person, using their pre-married name, to avoid any issues with name changes or joint accounts. This way, either person can deposit the check without hassle. Secondly, use the word 'or' instead of 'and' between their names, as this ensures either individual can endorse and cash the check without the other being present. For example, write John Smith or Jane Doe instead of John Smith and Jane Doe. This small detail can make a big difference and prevent delays in accessing the gift. Lastly, consider including a personal touch, such as a greeting card with a heartfelt message or a gift-wrapped box, to make your monetary gift more special. By following these simple tips, you can ensure your wedding gift is both practical and meaningful for the newlyweds.

Characteristics Values
Who to address the check to Use the couple's pre-married names. Avoid addressing to "Mr. and Mrs." as not all couples will share a last name.
Conjunction to use Use "or" instead of "and" so that either person can deposit the check.
Timing Mail the check before or shortly after the wedding. Do not wait more than three months post-wedding.
Amount Consider your budget, your relationship with the couple, and traditional etiquette.
Presentation Put the check in a greeting card with a personal message. You could also gift-wrap the check or give a gift card.

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Use or instead of and between the couple's names

When writing a wedding check, it's important to use the word "or" instead of "and" between the couple's names. This ensures that either person can deposit the check into their individual account without any issues. For example, write "Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia" instead of "Kim Jones and Jackie Garcia." The latter may require both individuals to be present at the time of deposit or for the account used to be in both their names.

Using "or" provides flexibility and convenience for the couple, especially if they haven't set up a joint bank account yet. It allows either individual to cash or deposit the check without delay. This is particularly useful if one or both partners are planning to change their last names after the wedding, as it can take time for the name change process to be completed at the bank.

Additionally, it's recommended to use the couple's premarital or maiden names on the check. This way, they won't have to wait for their new names to become official before they can cash the gift.

When addressing the check, it's also a good idea to reference the couple in the memo section. For instance, you can write "To the newlyweds" to add a nice touch.

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Avoid assuming a name change

When writing a check as a wedding gift, it's important to avoid assuming that the recipient will change their name. Here are some tips to ensure your gift is received and deposited without any issues:

Use the Couple's Premarried or Maiden Names

It's best to use the couple's premarried or maiden names on the check. Even if one or both partners are planning to change their last names after the wedding, using their current names will allow them to cash the check more easily. The name-changing process can take time, and the couple might want to use the gift for honeymoon expenses or other immediate needs. Using their premarried names ensures that either member of the couple can deposit the check into their individual account without having to wait for a joint account to be set up.

Avoid Assuming a Traditional Name Change

Don't assume that a heterosexual couple will follow the traditional route of the bride taking the husband's last name. These days, many couples choose to hyphenate their last names, create a new last name, or keep their original surnames. Respect their choice and avoid making assumptions about their name change.

Double-Check the Names

Always double-check the names on the wedding check. If you're unsure about the official new names of the couple, it's a good idea to ask their parents or someone close to them for clarification. This is especially important if you're handing over the check after the wedding, as you want to ensure it can be easily deposited.

Use "OR" Instead of "AND"

When writing the names on the check, use "OR" instead of "AND." For example, write "Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia." This ensures that either person can deposit the check into their individual account without requiring both of them to be present or having a joint account.

Consider Mailing the Check

To avoid any potential issues with name changes, you may consider mailing the check to the couple before or after the wedding. This way, you can address the check to their individual names and permanent addresses, ensuring they receive the gift without any complications.

Remember, when giving a wedding check, it's essential to avoid assumptions about name changes. By following these tips, you can ensure that your gift is received and deposited smoothly, allowing the couple to use it towards their new life together.

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Write the cheque to one person

Writing a cheque as a wedding gift is a thoughtful gesture that allows the couple to spend the money on whatever they please. Here are some tips to ensure your gift is easy for the couple to deposit:

Writing the cheque to only one person is the simplest option. This avoids any complications that could arise from the couple not having a joint account or one person changing their last name. Address the cheque to the person you feel closest to or are most familiar with. Using their pre-wedding last name will also make it easier for them to deposit the cheque, as it can take time for a legal name change to go through. For example, write the cheque to "John Smith" or "Jane Garcia".

If you want to make it clear that the gift is for both members of the couple, you can reference them both in the memo section of the cheque by writing "To the newlyweds". This way, either person will be able to deposit the cheque without any issues.

Other tips

  • Use the word "or" instead of "and" between names. This ensures that either person can deposit the cheque without the other having to be present.
  • Avoid addressing the cheque to "Mr. and Mrs." as this heteronormative tradition does not apply to same-sex marriages, and the couple may not be sharing a last name.
  • Put the cheque in a greeting card with a personal message. This adds a thoughtful touch to your gift.
  • Mail the cheque to a permanent address to avoid it getting lost at the wedding.
  • Ensure you have sufficient funds in your account to cover the amount of the cheque.

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Include a memo

When writing a wedding check, it is important to include a memo to ensure the couple can cash your gift with ease. Here are some tips for what to include in the memo:

  • If you are writing the check to only one person, you can include a memo that references the couple, such as "To the newlyweds." This is a helpful way to ensure the couple can deposit the check without needing a joint bank account.
  • If you are writing the check to both members of the couple, you can include a memo that indicates the check is a wedding gift. This adds a personal touch and clarifies the purpose of the check.
  • It is also a good idea to use the memo to specify who the check is from, especially if you are sending it directly to the couple without a card. This way, they will know who to thank!
  • If you have a specific purpose in mind for the gift, such as a contribution to their honeymoon or a down payment on a house, you can include that in the memo as well. This adds a thoughtful touch and shows that you put thought into the gift.
  • Finally, if you are writing the check to only one member of the couple, you can include a note of congratulations to the couple in the memo line. This is a fun way to wish them well while also ensuring the check can be easily deposited.

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Gift-wrap the cheque

If you're giving a cheque as a wedding gift and want to make the presentation fancier, you can gift-wrap it. Here are some ideas on how to do this:

Find a Small Box

Locate a small box and place the cheque inside. You could also include a greeting card with a handwritten personal message inside the box. This adds a thoughtful touch and makes the gift feel more intimate and special.

Wrap the Box

Use some nice wrapping paper to wrap the box. Choose a paper that suits the occasion, perhaps something elegant and understated, or a design that you know aligns with the recipient's taste. Finish it off with a beautiful ribbon tied around the box.

Cut the Ribbon Ends

Cut the two loose ends of the ribbon into "V" shapes for a polished look. This extra detail elevates the overall presentation of your gift.

Include a Personalised Note

Even if you gift-wrap the cheque, always include a note card with a personal message. This ensures your gift is meaningful and allows you to express your congratulations and well wishes to the newlyweds.

Avoid Envelopes

Envelopes containing greeting cards can be mislaid or accidentally thrown away. A box with some size and weight is much less likely to be lost, so it's a better option for presenting your cheque gift.

Frequently asked questions

If you don't want to risk offending the couple, address the check to the member of the couple you feel closest to, using their pre-married name. If you want to address the check to both members of the couple, use "OR" between their names (e.g., "Bride OR Groom"). This allows either person to deposit the check into their account.

Mailing the check is the safest way to ensure it doesn't get misplaced at the wedding. If giving the check in person, avoid the gift table and instead, give it to a close family member, a wedding party member, or the wedding planner.

According to wedding etiquette experts, if you're a coworker or distant relative, give $50–75. For friends or relatives, give $75–100. And for close friends or family, give $100–150.

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