Writing The Perfect Wedding Check: A Step-By-Step Guide

how do you write a check out for a wedding

Writing a cheque as a wedding gift can be tricky to get right, but it's a great way to give the happy couple a gift that they can spend on whatever they please. If you're writing a cheque as a wedding gift, there are a few things to keep in mind to make it easier for the couple to deposit the money. Firstly, it's a good idea to use the couple's pre-married names, as it can take time for name changes to be official, and some couples may not share a surname. Using the word or instead of and between their names will also ensure that either person can deposit the cheque without the other needing to be present. It's also a good idea to include a personal message with the cheque, and to put it in a card, rather than just an envelope, to add a thoughtful touch.

Characteristics Values
How to address the cheque Use the couple's pre-married names. Avoid using "Mr. and Mrs." as not all brides will take their spouse's name. Use "or" instead of "and" so that either person can deposit the cheque.
Cheque amount The general rule is not to give a cheque for less than $50. The average cost of monetary gifts given at weddings in the US ranges from $75 to $200, with $160 being the norm.
How to give the cheque Put the cheque in a greeting card with a personal message. Sending the cheque in the mail is safer than giving it at the wedding, as it could get lost or misplaced.

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Use the couple's pre-married names

When writing a wedding check, it's important to use the couple's pre-married or maiden names. This is because they may want to cash the check before going on their honeymoon, and the name-changing process can take time. Using their pre-married names ensures that either member of the couple can deposit the check without having to wait for a new bank account to be created.

  • Double-check the spelling and the names themselves. Invitation cards and websites may use first and middle names, which can be misleading if you're not familiar with both spouses. When in doubt, use the first and last names you know best.
  • Use the word "or" instead of "and" between their names. For example, write "Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia" instead of "Kim Jones and Jackie Garcia." This will ensure that either member of the couple can deposit the check into their individual accounts without both of them being present at the bank.
  • Avoid making assumptions about name changes, especially with heterosexual couples. Don't assume that the bride will take her husband's last name or that a couple who hyphenates their last names will do so in alphabetical order. Always double-check with the couple or their close family or friends to confirm their official new names.
  • If you're only familiar with one member of the couple, you can make the check out to that person. This is a valid option, especially if you are closer to one of the spouses. However, if you want to include both names, use their pre-married names to avoid any issues with depositing the check.
  • Include a memo to indicate that it is a wedding gift. This is a helpful way to provide context for the check, especially if you are writing it to only one of the spouses.

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Use 'or' instead of 'and'

When writing a wedding cheque, it's important to use the word "or" instead of "and" between the names of the two recipients. This is because using "or" ensures that either recipient can deposit the cheque into their individual account without the other person being present. For example, write "Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia" instead of "Kim Jones and Jackie Garcia".

Using "or" is especially important if the couple does not yet have a joint bank account. By writing "or", you give either person the ability to cash or deposit the cheque without having to wait for a joint account to be set up. This will also be helpful if either member of the couple is changing their last name, as they won't have to wait for the legal name change to go through before cashing the cheque.

Additionally, using "or" can prevent potential issues with the bank. If you write "and" between the names, the bank may require both recipients to be present at the time of deposit or for the account used to be in both their names.

To avoid any confusion, it's best to use the couple's premarital names on the cheque, even if you know one person is planning to change their last name. That way, they can cash the cheque before or after the name change without any issues.

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Include a personal message

Including a personal message is a great way to make your gift more meaningful to the couple. It's an opportunity to convey your congratulations and best wishes for their future together. Here are some tips for including a personal message with your wedding cheque:

  • Put the cheque in a greeting card: Avoid simply sticking the cheque in an envelope, which may come across as impersonal. Instead, enclose the cheque in a nice greeting card and write a heartfelt message inside.
  • Address the card to both the bride and groom: Congratulate them on their wedding and include a personal statement or a shared memory.
  • Reference the couple in the memo: If you address the cheque to only one member of the couple, you can still reference them both in the memo portion of the cheque by writing "To the newlyweds".
  • Include a note with the amount: While this is not necessary, some people include the amount of the cheque in their thank-you note. This confirms for the recipient that you received their cheque, and there were no issues with the amount.
  • Share how they might spend the money: In your message, you could suggest how the couple might spend the money. For example, you could say something like, "Here's a little something to help you buy dinner at your favourite restaurant."
  • Make it meaningful: Instead of a generic amount, consider giving a more specific sum that holds significance for both you and the couple. This shows that you've put thought into the gift.
  • Gift-wrap the cheque: For a fancier presentation, you can put the cheque in a small box and wrap it with nice paper and a ribbon. Don't forget to include a note card with your personal message!

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Gift-wrap the cheque

If you want to make your cheque gift stand out, you can gift-wrap it. Find a small box, place the cheque inside, and wrap the box in nice paper with a ribbon. You could also tie a bow around the gift with a ribbon, cutting the ends of the ribbon into "V" shapes.

While this is a fancier presentation than a simple envelope, it's still a good idea to include a note card with a personal message. You could also write a message on the memo line of the cheque.

If you're worried about the box getting lost, write your name and address on the box, as well as on the cheque and card.

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Send it in the mail

Sending a cheque as a wedding gift in the mail is a great option if you are unable to attend the wedding or if you are travelling a long distance to the wedding and don't want to bring a bulky gift with you. It is also a safer option than giving a cheque in person, as it won't get lost in the commotion of the wedding.

If you are sending a cheque in the mail, it is best to send it to the couple's permanent address, where you know one or both of them will receive it. It is also a good idea to use the couple's pre-married names on the cheque, as they may not have set up a joint account yet, or one person may not have legally changed their name. Using "or" instead of "and" between their names will also ensure that either person can deposit the cheque without the other being present.

It is appropriate to send a cheque in the mail any time before the wedding or shortly after the wedding. However, it is considered impolite to wait more than three months after the wedding to send your gift. You can also ask the couple if they have a cash fund, which allows you to put money towards a specific purchase the couple is saving for.

When sending a cheque in the mail, it is important to put it in a greeting card with a personal message. This will make your gift feel more thoughtful and less impersonal. You can also gift-wrap the cheque and put it in a small box to make it feel more special. Don't forget to include a note card with a personal message!

Frequently asked questions

It's best to use the couple's pre-married names. If the couple has the same surname, you can address them as "Mr. and Mrs. [John] Smith". If they have different surnames, use "or" between their names, for example, "Jane Jones or John Smith". This will ensure that either person can deposit the cheque.

If you're unsure of their pre-married names, use the last name they had before the wedding. It will take some time for a legal name change to clear with the bank, and using their pre-married names will allow them to deposit the cheque as soon as possible.

If your bank won't let you deposit the cheque due to a misspelling, get in touch with the giver and ask them to send a new cheque with the correct spelling.

Giving cash is more convenient for the couple as they won't need to visit the bank. However, some guests prefer to give cheques for security reasons, as they are less likely to be stolen.

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