Best Man Blues: A Funny Poem For The Bros

Asking someone to be your best man is a daunting task, and it can be difficult to know where to start. You could opt for a funny card, or a more heartfelt approach. If you're stuck for words, there are professionals who can help you craft the perfect proposal. Once you've got your best man on board, they'll need to start thinking about their speech. This is often the most challenging part of the role, and many best men dread the thought of standing up in front of a crowd. There are lots of online resources to help with this, from one-liners to full speech-writing services. The key to a good best man's speech is to keep it light-hearted, focus on the couple, and practice, practice, practice!

Best Man Speech Structure

Kick off your speech with a light-hearted joke or anecdote to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. This sets a friendly tone for what's to come. After your opening, introduce yourself and share how you met the groom to establish your connection with the audience.

Messages from Afar

Read out messages from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. This is a lovely gesture and will be meaningful to those in the room. You can also add a surprise or something funny, such as a message from an old teacher or the landlord at the groom's local pub.

Story Time and Anecdotes

Share amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom. This is the key section of your speech, where you get to give an overview of who they are as a person. If you know them from school, walk down memory lane with some childhood stories. You can also use props, such as a slideshow of photos or a theme if they always wear the same outfit in pictures.

Words of Wisdom and Compliments

Offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice for the newlyweds. If you're married, you and your partner could share some golden rules for happiness. You could also ask friends and family of the couple for tips on love, compromise, and everyday living. Take a moment to compliment the couple and reflect on your favourite things about their relationship.

Acknowledge the Bridal Party and Raise a Final Toast

Thank the bridesmaids for their role on the day and in the lead-up to the wedding. Finally, conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them a future filled with happiness.

Timing

The sweet spot for a best man's speech is around seven minutes. Any longer, and people may start to switch off. Keep your speech clearly planned and well-rehearsed.

Best Man Speech Jokes

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the main duties of the best man is to deliver a memorable speech. This can be a daunting task, but with the right amount of preparation and a few well-chosen jokes, you can be sure to deliver a speech that will have the audience laughing and cheering. Here are some tips and tricks to help you write a funny and engaging best man speech.

Keep it Light and Friendly

It's important to remember that the best man speech is not the time to roast the groom or make offensive jokes. The goal is to entertain the audience and celebrate the happy couple. A good strategy is to focus on the positive attributes of the groom and how he and the bride are perfect for each other. For example, you could say something like, "I've known [groom] for many years, and one thing that has always stood out to me is his loyalty and dedication to the people he loves. So when he told me he had found the one, I knew that he meant it, and I couldn't be happier for him and [bride]." This type of joke is light-hearted and showcases the groom's best qualities.

Use Observational Humour

Observational humour is a great way to add a touch of humour to your speech without resorting to crude jokes or embarrassing stories. Pay attention to the groom's behaviour, habits, and the unique dynamics of your friendship. Look for the everyday frustrations or quirks that everyone can relate to. For example, if the groom is always running late, you could say something like, "They say that a best man's speech should be as long as it takes the groom to get ready. So, we're all in for a long night!" This type of joke is playful and good-natured, and it will definitely get a laugh from the audience.

Exaggerate for Effect

Exaggeration is a powerful tool in comedy, and it can be used effectively in your best man speech. Take a quirk or habit of the groom's and imagine it in its most extreme form. For example, if the groom is known for his love of food, you could say something like, "I've known [groom] for a long time, and I've never seen anyone who can eat as much as he can. In fact, I'm surprised he didn't propose to the pizza delivery guy!" This type of exaggeration will have the audience laughing and will showcase your close relationship with the groom.

Self-Deprecating Humour

Self-deprecating humour is a great way to break the ice and show that you don't take yourself too seriously. Make fun of your own quirks or embarrassing moments, as long as they are appropriate for the audience. For example, you could say something like, "I know public speaking isn't my strong suit, so I'm just going to imagine you all in your underwear. Actually, on second thought, that's not helping at all!" This type of joke will lighten the mood and make the audience feel more relaxed.

Practice Makes Perfect

Finally, remember to practice your speech beforehand. Practising will help you feel more confident and ensure that your jokes land as intended. Practise in front of a mirror, record yourself, or ask a friend or family member to listen and give you feedback. This will help you refine your delivery and timing, ensuring that your speech is not only funny but also well-received by the audience.

Best Man Speech One-Liners

Being the best man at your friend's wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. You're expected to plan the bachelor party, keep the wedding rings safe, and give a speech that's funny, heartfelt, and not too embarrassing for the groom. If you're struggling to come up with one-liners for your best man speech, here are some ideas to get you started:

Opening One-Liners

• "It's been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers."
• "If there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive, and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you've just married [NAME]."
• "I've been asked to give [NAME] the drinks bill, so now we've reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see him shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth."
• "All those amongst you who know [PARTNER] well will know that she/he is a wonderful and caring person. S/he deserves a good husband. Thank God [NAME] married her/him before s/he found one."
• "Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME]'s football team to [PARTNER] – 'Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight'."

Jokes About the Groom

• "Firstly, I'd like to say I'm very nervous about making this speech. In fact, this must be the third time today that I've stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand."
• "I do hope that [PARTNER] and [NAME] enjoy their honeymoon in Wales. I assume that's where they're going anyway... When I asked [NAME] what he was doing after the wedding, he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight."
• "I didn't really know where to start, so I thought I'd trawl the internet. After a couple of hours, I'd found some really, really good stuff. But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech."
• "We all know [PARTNER] is a wonderful person who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad you don't always get what you deserve."
• "As part of my research, I discovered that according to tradition, I am supposed to sing the groom's praises and tell you all about his many good points. Well, I'm very sorry, but I can't sing and I won't lie."
• "I recognise my place here; a best man is similar to a dead body at a funeral. Of course, you are expected to be there, but if you say too much, then people start freaking out."
• "Now I did ask for a microphone, but was told one wasn't available. So, if you can't hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing out on anything."
• "You've got no idea how much I've been looking forward to today. After all the time I've been friends with [NAME], they have at long last admitted that I am, in fact, the best man."
• "I always knew it would be hard to follow [NAME]'s speech and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it."
• "Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I'm terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn't drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn't let the groom drink alone, could I?"
• "I'm going to keep this speech like [NAME] – short and not very funny."
• "I can only say in my defence that [NAME] and I share the same sense of humour, so if this speech is in any way unfunny, please feel free to blame [NAME]."
• "Hi everyone, I'm [BEST MAN], I'm the best man – although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn't really have any other friends."
• "I've been instructed to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I'll whip it out immediately."
• "I'm here to give a speech about [NAME] – but what can I say about him that hasn't already been a topic on Jeremy Kyle?"
• "I heard there was a sweepstake on the length of the best man's speech. I just went for 40 minutes – so settle in."
• "Now, before I start, the hotel manager has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation."
• "I have no problem admitting to you all that I'm extremely nervous right now. And as the people sitting near the front of the room can attest, it is actually possible to smell fear."
• "They say if you're nervous about giving a speech, you should imagine the audience naked. [Look around, look horrified] God, now I feel worse!"
• "When it came to writing this speech, I Googled 'best man speech examples' and found some great stuff! So, let me tell you about [WRONG NAME]..."
• "This has truly been a day to remember. [NAME] finally bought a round of drinks!"
• "I've played football with [NAME] on many occasions and never seen him lose a ball... as he doesn't kick it that far. In fact, he struggles to kick it full stop."
• "[NAME] may not dazzle you with his wit or good looks. But he will dazzle you with the top of his head."
• "Getting married to someone who is balding makes everything so much easier. For example, whenever the photographer calls for a picture, all [NAME] has to do is straighten his tie!"
• "[NAME] has been so worried about getting married. In fact, he's been tearing his hair out!"
• "I want to say a few complimentary things about the groom. He's handsome, intelligent, and gifted at sports. Of course, none of this should come as a surprise – we come from the same gene pool."
• "If you hadn't guessed already, I'm the groom's younger brother. The upgrade, if you will."
• "I've always wanted to give a speech - [NAME] is like a genie, he's granted a wish for me today. And I always wanted a sister, and I have that now in [NAME]. But not all wishes come true, after all - I've still got [NAME] as a brother."
• "We didn't play together that much, growing up. [NAME] was the sort of kid my mum told me to stay away from."
• "[NAME] blamed me for everything growing up. So, let's call this speech 'payback'".

Remember, it's important to keep your jokes good-natured and avoid anything that might offend the bride, groom, or their families. Good luck with your speech!

Best Man Speech Delivery Tips

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. One of your most important tasks is giving a memorable wedding speech. Here are some tips to help you deliver a speech that will blow everyone away.

Preparation

The key to any successful speech is preparation. Write down bullet points of your key messages, jokes, and quotes. Spend time revising the content of your speech, adding literary techniques, and noting tactical pauses and ways to end your speech. Once the speech is written, spend time practising it. The more you practise, the less nervous you will be, and the more natural you will sound. Don't learn your speech off by heart; learn some key points and improvise around them. This will make you sound less wooden and monotone.

Structure

Your speech should follow this general structure:

• Open by expressing gratitude to those who made the day possible, such as the couple's parents, and offer a toast to them. Thank the audience, and say something about how beautiful the bride looks.
• Introduce yourself to the audience, and explain how you know the groom.
• Get a joke in early to relax the mood. Spend time preparing the right joke—something funny but not offensive that will appeal across all age groups. Learn it by heart.
• Tell a story, such as how you met the groom or a funny incident you both experienced. You can also tell a story about when you realised your friend had found "the one", or when they would complain about being single.
• Summarise your friend's good character and list their essential qualities.
• End with a quote and propose a toast to the couple's happiness and love.

Delivery

• Speak slowly and clearly, taking time to pause and take deep breaths.
• Avoid getting drunk before your speech—one drink may help calm your nerves, but any more than that is a bad idea.
• Practise open body language. Rehearse not just your words, but also how you'll stand and present yourself. Use gestures while you speak to appear more confident.
• Make eye contact with the crowd.
• Don't use props, as they will only make your speech longer and more tedious to endure.

Best Man Speech Examples

Being the best man at your friend's wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the main duties of the best man is to deliver a memorable speech. This can be a daunting task, but with some careful planning and a bit of humour, you can give a speech that will have the crowd laughing and cheering. Here are some tips and examples to help you get started.

Keep it Light and Funny

It's important to remember that the best man's speech should be entertaining and light-hearted. You can include some heartfelt moments, but try to focus on making the audience laugh. One way to do this is by incorporating some funny poems or jokes into your speech. For example, you could start your speech with a humorous poem about the groom, or include some funny one-liners throughout your speech. Here are some ideas:

> It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

>

> If there’s anybody here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married [NAME].

>

> I’ve played football with [NAME] on many occasions and never seen him lose a ball… as he doesn’t kick it that far. In fact, he struggles to kick it full stop.

>

> [NAME] may not dazzle you with his wit or good looks. But he will dazzle you with the top of his head.

Share Some Personal Stories

In addition to jokes and poems, you can also share some personal stories or anecdotes about the groom. These stories can be funny or heartfelt, but try to make sure they are not too embarrassing or inappropriate. It's important to strike a balance between humour and respect for the couple. Here are some ideas for stories you could share:

• Talk about the first time you met the groom and how your friendship has evolved over the years.
• Share a story about a crazy adventure or mishap you had together.
• Describe the groom's relationship with his new spouse and how they balance each other out.
• If the groom has any siblings, you can include a story about their childhood together.

Structure your Speech

When writing your speech, it's important to structure it in a way that is easy for the audience to follow. You can use the "live, laugh, love" method, where you alternate between funny anecdotes and heartfelt moments. Here's an example of how you can structure your speech:

• Introduction: Introduce yourself and your relationship to the groom.
• Love: Talk about how the groom has always been there for you.
• Laugh: Share a funny story or anecdote about the groom.
• Live: Transition to a more serious note by talking about how the groom has found his soulmate.
• Love: Welcome the bride into the family and express your happiness for them.
• Laugh: Share another funny story, this time including the bride.
• Live: Talk about their future together and how their life will be amazing and memorable.
• Love: Express your love for the couple and wish them all the best.
• Closing: Raise a toast to the happy couple and thank the audience for listening.

Final Tips

• Practice your speech beforehand and time it so that it's not too long.
• Don't wing it! Prepare your speech in advance and make sure you know what you're going to say.
• Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand.
• Keep it clean and avoid any offensive language or inappropriate stories.
• Make sure to thank the people who need to be thanked, such as the bridesmaids, family, and guests.
• Relax and have fun! The audience wants you to do well, so just enjoy the moment and your speech will be a success.

Frequently asked questions