Crafting A Warm Wedding Welcome: Navigating The Two-Last-Name Terrain

There are many ways to navigate wedding introductions and invitations when it comes to last names. The traditional approach involves the male's full name, with the female becoming 'Mrs' and taking his last name. However, this is changing, with couples keeping their own names, combining names, or creating new ones. When it comes to introductions, a simple option is to use first names only, such as For the first time as a married couple, John and Jane!. If keeping last names, both full names can be used, For the first time as a married couple, John Doe and Jane Smith!. For invitations, married couples with different last names can list each full name with 'and' between them. Same-sex couples can include both first and last names, with optional prefixes for added formality.

Announcing the couple with different last names

Announcing a couple with different last names can be tricky, but there are ways to do it with style and grace. Here are some ideas to introduce the newlyweds with different last names:

Keep It Simple

If you want to avoid any confusion, stick to using just the couple's first names. This is a straightforward and effective way to introduce the newlyweds without worrying about last names. For example, "For the first time as a married couple, John and Jane!" This simple announcement works for any couple, regardless of gender or last name choices.

Use Both Full Names

If you want to make it clear that neither partner is changing their last name, you can use both of their full names. For instance, "For the first time as husband and wife, John Doe and Jane Smith!" This option is direct and leaves no room for ambiguity. It's a great way to honour both family names and ensure that the couple is introduced as a married pair.

Get Creative with Name Merging

A fun and unique way to introduce the couple is to merge their last names in a creative way. For example, if you're introducing Sally Smith and Greg Hammer, you could say, "Let's welcome the newly merged Sally and Greg Hammersmith!" This option is especially appealing if their merged last name sounds interesting or unique. However, it's important to note that most states require a court order to officially merge two last names.

Alphabetical Order

When addressing a married couple with different last names, a simple rule to follow is to list their names alphabetically. For instance, "Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan." This approach ensures consistency and avoids any gender bias. It's a respectful and practical way to introduce the couple, especially if you're not sure about their preferences or dynamics.

Formality and Titles

When it comes to titles, you can opt for a more traditional approach by using "Mr." and "Mrs." or "Ms." However, if you want to be progressive and avoid gender bias, simply using their first and last names can be a good alternative. For example, "Jane Smith and John Doe invite you to witness their union." This way, you avoid the complexity of titles and focus on the couple's names and their special day.

Remember, the most important thing is to ensure that the couple is comfortable and happy with the introduction. Choose an option that suits their personalities and reflects who they are as a couple. Whether you keep it simple or get creative, make sure the introduction aligns with their vision for their wedding day.

Alphabetical ordering of names

When it comes to the alphabetical ordering of names, there are a few methods and considerations to keep in mind. Here are some detailed instructions and examples to help you format names in an alphabetical order:

Ordering by Last Name

The most common approach is to order names by last name, especially when dealing with lists of full names. This method ensures that people with the same last name are grouped together. To do this, you can use online tools that automatically alphabetize lists by last name.

Basic Alphabetical Order

Names can also be ordered using the standard alphabetical order. When comparing two names, start by comparing their first letters. The name whose first letter comes earlier in the alphabet should be placed first. If the first letters are the same, move on to the second letters, and so on. For example, "As" would come before "Aster" because they start with the same two letters, but "As" has fewer letters overall.

Treatment of Multiword Strings

When dealing with names that have multiple parts, such as middle names or hyphenated last names, there are two common approaches. The first approach is to order the names based on their first word. For example, "Oak" would come before "Oak Hill" and "Oak Ridge." The second approach treats the names as if they had no spaces, so "Oak Ridge" would come after "Oakley" as if it were spelled "Oakridge."

Capitalization and Special Characters

Capital letters are generally considered the same as their lowercase counterparts for alphabetical ordering. However, there may be special rules for names containing modified letters, such as those with diacritics or ligatures. For example, "role" and "role" would be treated as the same for ordering purposes.

Cultural and Language-Specific Conventions

Different cultures and languages may have their own rules for alphabetical ordering. For instance, in some cultures, family names are written after given names, but lists are typically reordered to sort by family name first. Additionally, certain languages have specific rules for treating accented letters, digraphs, or extended Latin alphabet characters.

Computer and Online Tools

When using computer programs or online tools for alphabetical ordering, be aware that they may use simple algorithms that don't account for all the complexities of alphabetical ordering. For example, they might place all capital letters before lowercase letters or treat names with special characters incorrectly.

In conclusion, when formatting names in alphabetical order, it's important to consider the specific cultural and language conventions, the treatment of multiword strings, and the potential limitations of computer or online tools. By following the provided instructions and examples, you can confidently order names for your wedding welcome or any other context.

Combining last names

Double-Barrelling

Double-barrelling involves combining both last names, with or without a hyphen. For example, "Green and Rosen could become Greenrosen". However, this method may not work well with longer last names, such as "Anderson and Tillman". In such cases, you could take parts of each name and merge them into one, like "Anderman" or "Tillerson". Alternatively, you could take only the first two letters of each last name, so "Davis and Shaw" could become "Dash".

Name Meshing

Name meshing involves creating a new surname by blending elements from both names. For instance, "Read and Duckerin" could become "Rein", taking the first two letters from one name and the last two from the other. Another example is "Bartez", a combination of "Bartko" and "Azeez".

Pros of Combining Last Names

Cons of Combining Last Names

One drawback of combining last names is the potential pushback from family members who adhere to traditional naming practices. Additionally, a unique surname can be confusing for children, who will have a different last name than anyone in their extended family. There may also be professional drawbacks, as you will be known by a new name.

The Process of Combining Last Names

The process of combining last names can vary depending on your location. In most states, a court order is required to merge two last names. Here are the general steps to follow:

• Decide on your last name before the wedding.
• Determine if one or both spouses will change their last name.
• Research your state's marriage laws to understand what types of surname changes are acceptable.
• If your state allows your desired last name, include your new last name on the marriage certificate, which serves as proof of your name change.
• Obtain a name change via court order if required by your state.
• Submit your marriage certificate or court order to the relevant government agencies, such as the Social Security Administration, to update your records.
• Update your driver's license, passport, vehicle registration, voter registration, and all other accounts with your new last name.

Examples of Combined Last Names

• Lex Rofes and Valerie Langberg became the Rofebergs.
• Meryl Wisner and Brooke Wilson became the Wilsners.
• Lindsie Alterman and Michelle Okun became the Alterkuns.
• Rebecca and Chris Rosenthal and Cline became the Rosenclines.
• Matt and Samira Bartko and Azeez became Bartez.
• Tyler Cordell and Alexandra Bassetti became Corsetti.
• Jade and Sam Read and Duckerin became Rein.

Keeping your original name

History and Social Norms

The tradition of women taking their husband's last name upon marriage has been challenged by social norms and women's rights activists throughout history. In 1855, suffragist Lucy Stone refused to take her husband's last name, which led to her being denied the right to vote in a local election in Massachusetts in 1879. Nearly six decades later, in 1913, Frances Perkins, the first woman appointed to the U.S. Cabinet, chose to keep her maiden name for career reasons, stating, "I suppose I had been somewhat touched by feminist ideas, and that [was] one of the reasons that I kept my maiden name." As women like Stone and Perkins challenged societal norms, keeping one's maiden name became a sign of independence.

Career and Personal Branding

Many individuals, especially women, choose to keep their original last name due to career and personal branding considerations. Changing one's last name can be risky, especially if an individual has established a reputation and recognition in their field under their original name. This is particularly relevant for those who marry later in life or when their careers are already well-established. Highly educated and high-earning women are more likely to keep their maiden names, as they may feel that changing their name could negatively impact their professional identity and finances.

Logistics and Convenience

Changing one's last name after marriage can be a tedious and time-consuming process. It requires updating a long list of official documents and accounts, including social security, insurance, bank accounts, passports, driver's licenses, and various other personal records. This process can be costly and take several months, or even over a year, to complete. For couples who lived together before marriage, changing names can be viewed as unnecessary and inconvenient, as they are already used to having two different last names in the household.

Equality and Alternatives

Today, both men and women are increasingly open to alternatives regarding name changes after marriage. Some couples may choose to hyphenate their last names (e.g., Clark-Anderson), create a blended name (e.g., Clarkson), or use each other's last names as middle names. Within the LGBTQ+ community, 49% of couples choose one partner's last name, according to data from the wedding website The Knot. Ultimately, the decision to keep one's original name or not is a personal choice, and there are no legal issues with doing either.

Formal and informal introductions

For a formal introduction, traditionally, the emcee would say, "For the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. [John Doe]!" A more progressive option is "Mr. and Mrs. [John and Jane Doe]!".

If you want to stick to a more informal style, you can simply use the couple's first names, such as "For the first time as husband and wife, [John and Jane]!" or the gender-neutral version, "For the first time as a married couple, [John and Joe]!".

If the couple has different last names, a formal introduction would be structured as "Mr./Ms. [First Name] and Mr./Ms. [Second Name]". For example, "Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith".

For an informal introduction, you can simply introduce them by their first names, such as "For the first time as a married couple, John and Jane!".

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples with different last names, a formal introduction would include both their first and last names, combined with an "and". For example, "Mr. John Doe and Mr. Joe Bloggs".

An informal introduction can be as simple as using their first names, such as "For the first time as a married couple, John and Joe!".

Combining Last Names

It's becoming increasingly popular for couples to combine their last names or create a new shared last name. This can be done by hyphenating the last names, using two last names without a hyphen, or one partner moving their maiden name to their middle name and taking their spouse's last name.

When introducing a couple with a combined last name, you can use any of the above formal or informal styles, depending on your preference. For example, "For the first time as a married couple, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith-Bloggs" or "Here they are, the newlyweds, John and Joe Smith-Bloggs!".

Final Thoughts

The most important thing is to ensure that your wedding choices represent who you are as a couple. Modern-day weddings only need to follow the traditions that you want to include. So, feel free to adapt and personalise your introductions to suit your unique relationship!

Frequently asked questions