Writing Your Own Wedding Vows: A Guide To Personalizing Your Promises

Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful and romantic way to express your love and commitment to your partner. It is also a great way to personalize your wedding ceremony and celebrate your unique relationship. While traditional vows are a classic choice, writing your own vows allows you to create something meaningful and authentic that reflects your personality and love story.

When writing your own wedding vows, it is important to start early, discuss your expectations with your partner, and keep the length concise. Include a mix of the reasons why you love your partner and the promises you want to make. Be sure to practice reciting your vows beforehand, but keep the specifics a surprise for your partner and guests to make the moment even more special.

Remember, your wedding vows should sound like you. Be true to yourself and your partner, and don't be afraid to inject some humor or inside jokes to make the moment more lighthearted and enjoyable. Whether you choose to write your own vows or stick to traditional ones, the most important thing is that your vows come from the heart.

Voice admiration

• "You are my every dream come true, and I can't wait for the reality we get to build together."
• "You make me a better person. Each and every day, your love and trust make me a better person."
• "You are my light, and you've shown me more love than I've ever known."
• "I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can't be expressed in words, only in kisses, glances, and years of adventure by your side."
• "I love you with all my heart and I promise to try to be worthy of your love in every way."
• "I love you more fiercely with every second that slips through our hands. With you, I can make the most of my days."
• "I love you, not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me."
• "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride."
• "I love you in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, in sorrow and in joy."
• "I love you for who you are and for who you are yet to become."
• "I love you unconditionally and without hesitation."
• "I love you, and I know that this love is from God. I want to be your husband/wife so that we might serve Him together."
• "I love you, not only for what you are but for what I am when I'm with you. You are my light, my joy, my best friend."
• "I love you for the part of me that you bring out; I love you for the part of me that you complete."
• "I love you, and I thank the Lord for the love that has bound our hearts and lives together."
• "I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me."
• "I love you, not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you."

Share a vision for the future

Sharing a vision for the future is an important part of wedding vows. It is a great way to start your new life stage with your partner. Here are some ideas on how to do this:

• Paint a picture of the life you cannot wait to build with your partner by your side.
• Talk about the kind of home you want to build and what you want to be true of your lives together as a couple.
• Discuss your aspirations and how you plan to achieve them together.
• Share your dreams and how you plan to turn them into reality.
• Talk about the adventures you want to go on and the memories you want to make.
• Discuss how you will support each other through challenges and celebrate each other's successes.
• Share your goals and how you plan to achieve them together.
• Make promises that reflect your shared vision for the future. For example, promising to always be there for each other or to build a family together.

Make solid promises

Making solid promises is an essential part of your wedding vows. It is the heart of what makes a wedding vow a vow. Without specific promises, you are simply reciting a love letter or giving a speech.

Number of Promises

A good rule of thumb is to include three to six promises. Including more than six promises may reduce the impact and emotional significance of your vows.

Types of Promises

You can choose to make serious promises, playful promises, or a combination of both. Even if you aim for funny wedding vows, it is recommended to include at least two serious promises to ground your vows and represent your entire marriage through all its seasons.

Examples of Promises

• "I promise to trust and respect you."
• "I promise to laugh at your jokes... even the ones that are only kind of funny."
• "I promise to show appreciation for all the little things you do for me."
• "I promise to always put God first in our marriage."
• "I promise to be honest and faithful."
• "I promise to always put our love first."
• "I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone."
• "I promise to chase your dreams alongside you."
• "I promise to create a home where we will become our own family."
• "I promise to build a happy and loving home with you."
• "I promise to travel the world with you."
• "I promise to watch your favorite reality TV shows with you."
• "I promise to not just say 'I love you' but to show you every day."
• "I promise to forgive quickly and to love you easily."
• "I promise to never forget how we began and to allow that loving feeling to carry us through to our very end."
• "I promise you all of me, forever."

Additional Tips

• Think about what kind of partner you wish to be or how you want your future spouse to feel.
• Find inspiration in unconventional areas, such as common arguments or ongoing challenges in your relationship.
• Make sure your promises are concise, specific, and unique to your relationship dynamic.
• Discuss with your partner how many promises you will include and the tone you wish to convey.

Remember, your wedding vows are a chance to solidify your commitment to your partner and express your enduring love that will bind you together in both good and challenging times.

Connect with the audience

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to personalise your ceremony and celebrate your unique relationship. It's also a public proclamation of your love, in front of your family and friends. Here are some tips to help you connect with your audience:

Keep it Short and Sweet

Vows should only be around a minute or two long per person. Pick out five to seven of the most important things you want to say to your partner and use them as the foundation of your vows. You don't want your wedding vows to turn into a wedding speech.

Make it Relatable

Your guests want to feel included in the moment, so try to avoid inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes, obscure nicknames, or code words. Pick one or two stories that illustrate your partnership and that your wedding guests will be able to resonate with.

Make it Meaningful

Share concrete promises that you'll continuously uphold throughout your marriage. These pledges don't have to be heavy, but they should reflect the seriousness of the commitment you're about to make.

Make it Lighthearted

A little humour will make the moment more relatable, personal, and enjoyable. Plus, scoring a smile and laugh from your significant other (and the rest of your guests) will feel especially rewarding.

Make it Authentic

Your vows should sound like you, especially when you're making promises to your partner. On this day of all days, you shouldn't sound like someone else, so write vows that matter to you and feel authentic.

Include personal stories

Sharing personal stories is a great way to make your wedding ceremony more interesting and moving for everyone in attendance. It's a chance to give your guests a glimpse into your relationship and what makes it special. Here are some tips and examples to help you include personal stories in your wedding vows:

Share Romantic Stories

Recount the story of how you met, or how you knew your partner was "the one". This could be a funny or embarrassing story that your guests will find relatable and engaging. For example:

> "There hasn't been a day since we met where I didn't want to know everything about you. On our first date, I thought I'd nearly scared you away by interrogating you about your passions, your fears, what keeps you up at night, and what gets you up in the morning. You are eternally fascinating to me and I love everything I know about you now."

Incorporate Inside Jokes

Inside jokes or nicknames can be a fun way to include personal stories in your vows, but be careful not to make them too cryptic or embarrassing. You want your guests to be able to follow along and feel included. For instance:

> "I promise to always get rid of the spiders, even though I’m more scared than you. I promise to let you win the occasional argument, even if I’m right. I promise to unclog the shower drain, even though only one of us has any hair."

Recount How Your Partner Has Changed Your Life

Share a story about how your partner has made you a better person or helped you through a difficult time. This can be a powerful way to demonstrate the depth of your love and commitment. For example:

> "When you met me, I was lost. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, but you took my hand gently and made me the man/woman I am today. I pledge to build the most beautiful future with you."

Include Stories of Overcoming Challenges

If you and your partner have been through difficult times together, don't be afraid to mention them in your vows. It can be inspiring for your guests to hear how you've overcome obstacles as a couple. For instance:

> "I knew you were 'the one' when I realized that you truly were a better person than me. I admire you and look up to you for all the good you bring to this great big world. You are so blessed with the rare heart of a servant and your thoughtfulness touches everyone's life you are a part of."

Share a Funny Story

Adding a touch of humour to your vows can lighten the mood and make your guests laugh. It could be a story about a funny habit your partner has, or a lighthearted moment from your relationship. For example:

> "I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to. I promise that every day we will laugh, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple and when it is an effort."

Remember, when including personal stories in your wedding vows, it's important to keep them relatively short and to choose stories that are meaningful and engaging for your guests. Happy writing!

Frequently asked questions