It's not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift, but it's important to do so in a polite and thoughtful way. Here are some suggestions on how to word your wedding invitations to ask for monetary gifts tactfully:
- Include a line on your wedding invitations about gifting or having a 'wishing well'. For example, Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome.
- Provide a link to your wedding website in your invitations and add a section about your gift preferences. You can include a message like, We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we kindly request a monetary contribution.
- Set up a honeymoon/house deposit/home improvement fund with a gift registry service, and include this information on your invitations.
- Use a wedding money poem to add a touch of elegance and fun to your invitations. For example, As we’ve lived together for a year or two, we really don’t need anything new. But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift, some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss.
Remember, it's best to avoid directly asking for money on your wedding invitations. Instead, use subtle and creative ways to communicate your preference for cash gifts.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Where to ask for cash | Wedding website, or word-of-mouth via close friends and family |
How to ask for cash | Be subtle, explain how the money will be used, and be polite and respectful |
What not to do | Don't ask for money on the wedding invitation, or provide bank details |
What You'll Learn
Don't ask for money on the invitations
While it's acceptable to ask for money instead of traditional wedding gifts, it's generally considered a wedding etiquette faux pas to do so on your wedding invitations. This is because it can make guests feel uncomfortable and shift the focus away from the wedding itself.
Wedding Website
Your wedding website is a great place to outline your preferences for gifts. You can include a section for your "registry" and share details of what you're saving for, whether it's a honeymoon, a new home, or something else. This helps guests feel more connected to your plans and more inclined to contribute.
Word of Mouth
Another option is to simply tell your closest friends and family members your preference for cash gifts and let word-of-mouth take its course. This way, you can focus on other aspects of your wedding planning.
Honeymoon/House Deposit/Home Improvement Fund
You can set up a gifting fund with a gift registry service, where guests can contribute money towards a specific purchase, such as a honeymoon, a house deposit, or home improvements.
Poems
Some couples use poems to take the sting out of asking for cash gifts. This adds a personal, lighthearted touch to your request and can make it feel more thoughtful and polite.
Card Wishing Well at the Reception
You can set up a table at the reception where guests can leave wedding cards and envelopes with cash gifts. Ask someone to monitor the stand or use a "wishing well" or box for guests to drop their envelopes into.
Traditional Registry
While you may prefer cash gifts, it's a good idea to create a small, tailored gift registry with physical items. This is ideal for guests who prefer to give a physical present, and you can also feature gift cards or vouchers for experiences or products you like.
- "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome."
- "The most important thing to us is that you are able to celebrate with us on our wedding day. However, if you wish to give a gift, we will gratefully accept a small contribution towards our honeymoon."
- "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at (details here)."
- "Cash gifts are welcome but not expected, and will be put towards our honeymoon."
- "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but, should you wish to give a gift as well, a cash gift to put towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated."
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Use a wedding website
Your wedding website is a powerful tool for guests. It's a place to answer any questions that your guests may have about your wedding day that haven't been covered by the invitations. This makes it an ideal place to mention gifts, although it's worth remembering that not all guests will visit the site. If you go down this route, it's recommended that you set up an FAQ page. That way, it looks like you're addressing the issue of gifts because you've already had queries about it, so it feels a little less direct than a line on a wedding invitation.
- Are you signed up with a wedding registry service? No, we are very lucky to have everything we need for our home already."
- Who should I give my card to? The best man will be accepting cards on the day on our behalf."
- Should I bring my card with me, or send it in advance? We will have an area set aside on the day where you can safely deposit your card."
- Where should I send a card or gift? The best man will be accepting cards on the day on our behalf."
- Should we bring gifts on the day, or send them ahead of time? As space at the venue is limited, there won't be a table for gifts on the day. However, the best man will be accepting cards on our behalf."
- Will there be a gift table? There won't be a table for gifts on the day. However, the best man will be accepting cards on our behalf."
You can also include a poem or a lighthearted rhyme on your wedding website. This adds a personal, creative touch that reflects your personality as a couple and makes the request feel more thoughtful and polite. Be sure to keep the tone warm and sincere, reflecting your gratitude for any contribution.
- "As we’ve lived together for a year or two, We really don’t need anything new. But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift, Some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss."
- "We’re tying the knot and we just can’t wait, We knew it would happen on our very first date. As we’ve got our home dressed up with accessories, We don’t really think that a wedding gift list is necessary. But if you did want to give something to help us on our way, Some money in a card would truly make our day!"
- "We haven’t included a gift list in our invite, As we have everything — it just wasn’t right… To ask for more things for the life we lead, When a reliable new car is just what we need! If you were thinking of a gift for us to start our married life, some money would make us a very happy [husband/wife] and wife!"
- "We’ll soon be saying ‘I Do’, And for a gift, if you haven’t got a clue, Then we’d really love some cash, So that for our home we can splash, Out on a cosy new bed for two!"
- "We can’t wait to spend our wedding day with you, We’ve been planning hard and spending money for a good year or two. As we’re keen to start our married life in style, An amazing honeymoon would really make us smile. Instead of a gift list from a high street shop, We’d really love some money so on a beach we can flop! Your financial donation would truly mean a lot, So thank you for contributing to our honeymoon pot!"
You can also include a link to your wedding website on your wedding invitations. This will indirectly guide guests to your registry, which will help them see that you've registered for cash gifts.
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Ask family and friends to spread the word
Asking for cash gifts for your wedding can be a tricky topic to navigate. While it's not considered rude to ask for cash, it's important to do so in a tactful and polite manner. Here are some tips to help you ask family and friends to spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts:
Choose the Right People:
Select family members and close friends who are good communicators and have strong relationships with your guest list. These individuals should be trusted to deliver your message with grace and subtlety. They will be key in conveying your wishes to other guests.
Explain Your Reasons:
When asking your family and friends to spread the word, take the time to explain your reasons for preferring cash gifts. Are you saving for a down payment on a house? Planning a honeymoon? Renovating your home? Sharing your motivations will help your loved ones understand your preferences and make a more compelling case to other guests.
Provide Clear Guidance:
Be specific about what you would like your family and friends to say when they spread the word. You can even provide them with sample phrases or a short script to ensure your message is conveyed accurately and sensitively. For example, they could say, "The couple is saving for their dream honeymoon, so they would greatly appreciate any monetary contributions toward that goal."
Emphasize Discretion:
Ask your chosen family members and friends to be discreet in their approach. They should avoid being too pushy or demanding when speaking to other guests. Instead, they should casually mention your preference for cash gifts in conversation. This way, guests won't feel pressured or obligated.
Prepare for Questions:
Anticipate that your family and friends may receive questions from other guests about your decision. Equip them with answers that align with your reasoning. For example, if you're saving for a down payment on a house, they could explain that you already have most of the household items you need and would appreciate financial support toward this significant milestone.
Express Gratitude:
Don't forget to thank your family and friends for their help in spreading the word. Their support and discretion are invaluable in ensuring your wishes are respected. Show your appreciation through words and perhaps a small token of gratitude, such as a thoughtful gift or a special dinner together.
Remember, it's essential to approach this topic delicately and to respect your guests' choices. By asking your family and friends to spread the word, you can ensure that your message is conveyed in a polite and subtle manner.
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Create a cash or honeymoon registry
One of the easiest ways to ask for cash wedding gifts is to register with a cash or honeymoon registry website. This is a clear signal that you would prefer cash gifts. Most wedding guests are used to seeing a gift registry, so this approach can help them feel familiar with the process. It also eliminates some of the awkwardness of asking how you'd like to receive the money, as they can simply give it directly through the platform.
There are several cash registry websites available to couples, with Honeyfund and Zola being the most popular. On these sites, guests can give monetary gifts that can be used for long-term projects, building a savings account, or booking that dream honeymoon.
If you're saving for a down payment on a house or a remodel, you can also list gift cards for homeware or DIY stores. For example, some wedding gift registry retailers like Hudson's Bay, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Linen Chest allow you to add gift cards to your registry, indicating where your guests' cash gifts will be spent.
Creating a cash or honeymoon registry is a direct and efficient way to ask for cash wedding gifts while reducing any potential awkwardness in the process.
Sample Wording for Cash or Honeymoon Registry
When creating your cash or honeymoon registry, it's important to use thoughtful and considerate wording to convey your request. Here are some examples of what you could write:
"Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."
"Thank you for being a part of our special day. If you feel inclined to give us a wedding gift, a contribution towards our [insert cash fund] would greatly help us start newlywed life off right."
"The most important thing to us is that you're able to come and celebrate our wedding. However, if you wish to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."
"We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture. So, if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at [details here]."
"Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but should you wish to give a gift as well, a cash gift to put towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated."
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Be subtle
While it is generally considered acceptable to ask for money as a wedding gift, it is important to do so in a subtle and polite way. Here are some ideas for how to word your wedding invitations to request cash gifts without being too direct:
- Avoid asking for cash directly on your wedding invitations or save-the-dates. This can come across as rude and make guests feel like their presence is only valued if they bring a gift.
- Include a link to your wedding website on your invitations, which can then link to your honeymoon fund or wedding registry.
- Use your wedding website to explain why you have registered for cash and how you plan to use the funds. For example, you could say: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon fund."
- Ask your close friends and family members to spread the word about your preference for cash gifts. This can be done tactfully and will help to deter people from buying physical gifts.
- Set up a small, tailored gift registry with only a handful of physical items. This gives guests an alternative if they prefer to give a traditional gift, but may also push others towards giving cash.
- Create a cash or honeymoon registry on a website such as Honeyfund or Zola. Guests can then contribute directly to your fund, eliminating some of the awkwardness of asking for cash.
- Weave your personal story into your request. For example, explain that you are saving for your first home together or your dream honeymoon. This helps guests picture what they are contributing towards and can make them feel more connected to your plans.
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Frequently asked questions
It is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift. In fact, cash funds are some of the most popular registry items today, and your guests would want to give you something that you will get a lot of use out of.
You should not ask for money on your wedding invitations. Instead, include your wedding website on an insert card within your invitation suite and detail your registry preferences there.
You can explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. For example, "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon."
Yes, you can ask your family members and close friends to spread the word. You can also set up a "wishing well" at your reception where guests can leave cards and envelopes with cash gifts.