Rsvp Etiquette: Wedding Invite Response Timing

Finalising your guest list and sending out wedding invitations are two big steps in the wedding planning process, but the work doesn't end there. Next comes the waiting game – waiting for your guests to RSVP. But when should you request RSVPs by?

RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding

When it comes to wedding planning, there are many factors to consider when setting a deadline for RSVPs. Finalising your guest list and sending out invitations are significant steps, but it's crucial to allow your guests enough time to respond. Here are some reasons why setting the RSVP deadline for at least four weeks before the wedding is beneficial:

Allowing Enough Time for Planning

Waiting until the last minute to finalise your guest list can cause unnecessary stress. By setting the RSVP deadline four weeks or more before the wedding, you provide yourself with ample time to organise the final details. This includes creating a seating chart, confirming numbers with caterers and venues, and making travel arrangements if necessary. Giving yourself this buffer period ensures a more seamless planning process and allows you to address any last-minute changes or unexpected situations.

Considering the Guests' Perspective

It's important to remember that your guests also need sufficient time to plan and respond. Sending out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding is standard practice. This timeframe gives your guests about a month to decide and respond, encouraging a prompt reply without being too early. It's a delicate balance because sending invitations too far in advance may cause guests to forget or be unable to commit, especially if they have busy schedules or need to arrange travel. Setting the RSVP deadline for four weeks before the wedding strikes a balance between your planning needs and your guests' convenience.

Managing Timely Responses and Stragglers

Even with a well-planned timeline, there may be guests who don't respond by the deadline. It's a good idea to give yourself a buffer of a few weeks to follow up with those who haven't replied. This allows you to confirm their attendance and make any necessary adjustments to your guest list before finalising numbers with vendors. It's also beneficial to include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with the invitation to make it easier for guests to respond promptly.

Coordinating with Vendors

Caterers, venues, and other wedding vendors typically require final guest counts about a month in advance. By setting the RSVP deadline four weeks or more before the wedding, you can meet the vendors' requirements and ensure they have the information they need to deliver their services. This includes confirming numbers for meals, tables, chairs, transportation, and any other arrangements that depend on the guest count. A timely RSVP deadline helps you stay organised and ensures your vendors can adequately prepare for your big day.

Destination and Holiday Weddings

If you're planning a destination wedding or a wedding during a holiday season, it's essential to give your guests extra notice. In these cases, it's recommended to send invitations three to four months in advance and set the RSVP deadline about two months before the wedding. This extended timeline allows guests to make travel arrangements and plan their schedules accordingly. By setting an earlier RSVP deadline, you'll have more time to coordinate pre- and post-wedding events and ensure that everyone can be accommodated.

In conclusion, setting the RSVP deadline for at least four weeks before your wedding is a thoughtful and practical approach. It allows you to manage your guest list effectively, confirm numbers with vendors, and give your guests enough time to plan and respond. Remember to include clear instructions and deadlines on your invitations and provide multiple response options, such as mail-in cards or digital RSVPs through your wedding website, to make it convenient for your guests.

Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding

Sending out your wedding invitations around six to eight weeks before the wedding date is a widely recommended timeline. This is because, at this point, your guests will have already received their save-the-dates, giving them a heads-up to kick-start their own pre-wedding planning. Sending your invites six to eight weeks in advance allows your guests enough time to make travel arrangements if they haven't already. It also gives them ample time to decide whether they can attend and respond to your RSVP.

If you send your invitations too early, there is a risk that guests will put off responding and you will have to chase them down for an answer closer to the date. On the other hand, sending invites less than six weeks before the wedding may result in guests forgetting the details or believing that you only want to fill seats.

It is also important to consider the proportion of your guest list that lives abroad or far away. If a large percentage of your guests are international or your wedding is in a destination that requires travel for everyone, it is best to add a few weeks to this timeline. Aim to send your invites around 10 to 12 weeks before your wedding date.

For those guests who are travelling from far away, it is a good idea to let them know about the wedding details ahead of time through a quick call, text, or email. This way, they will have enough time to prepare their travel arrangements.

Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope

Including a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope is a great way to ensure your wedding guests RSVP on time. It is the easiest way to make sure your guests respond promptly, as it gives them no reason not to post their response.

When sending out your wedding invitations, it is important to give your guests ample time to plan and respond. Wedding invitations should be sent out at least eight weeks before your wedding, and ideally, the "RSVP by" date should fall three to four weeks before your wedding. This gives your guests a window of about one month to respond. It is also enough time for you to confirm numbers with your caterer and venue.

If you are planning a destination wedding, it is a good idea to give your guests more time to respond and to send out your invitations earlier. In this case, the RSVP deadline should be about two months before the wedding, and the invitations should be sent out four months in advance.

It is also worth noting that some guests may respond to your "Save the Date" cards, even if you do not include a reply card. If this happens, gently remind your guests that invites are still on the way and that you would appreciate it if they could RSVP again once they receive their invitation.

Finally, remember that it is perfectly acceptable to follow up with any guests you haven't heard from by the RSVP deadline.

Give guests options for RSVPing

When it comes to wedding invites, it's important to give your guests options for RSVPing. Here are some tips to make it easy for your guests to respond and for you to keep track of the responses:

Firstly, consider using a mix of traditional and digital invitation methods. If you opt for paper invitations, include RSVP cards with pre-postmarked envelopes to make it convenient for guests to reply. You can also provide an online option for those who prefer digital communication. Websites like RSVPify offer an easy and quick way for guests to respond, and they allow you to track responses digitally. This method simplifies the process and ensures you don't have to manually keep track of responses.

When inviting guests, be clear and specific about how they can RSVP. Provide detailed instructions on whether they should respond by mail, email, or through a wedding website. Additionally, set a deadline for responses and communicate it clearly to your guests. The deadline should be at least four weeks before the wedding, and ideally around three to four weeks in advance. This gives you enough time to finalise the guest list and make any necessary arrangements.

It's also a good idea to track responses digitally, especially if you're expecting a large number of guests. Create a spreadsheet with your guests' names and note their responses. This will help you stay organised and make it easier to follow up with guests who haven't responded yet.

If you find that some guests haven't responded by the deadline, don't hesitate to send gentle reminders. You can send polite reminders about two weeks before the deadline, expressing your excitement for the big day and firmly requesting their response. You can also share some details about the wedding planning progress to create a sense of excitement and soften the tone of the reminder.

Remember to plan for any last-minute changes or additions. Allow for a couple of extra plates in your catering plans, as there might be guests who change their plans or need to be accommodated at the last minute.

Send save-the-dates 10-11 months before the wedding

Sending save-the-dates around 10-11 months before the wedding is a great way to give your guests a heads-up about your upcoming nuptials. It's a courtesy alert, letting them know they're likely to receive a formal invitation and giving them time to plan and prepare. This is especially important if your wedding is at a far-flung location or over a holiday weekend, in which case it's recommended to send save-the-dates eight months in advance to give guests ample time to book travel and make arrangements.

Save-the-dates are not the same as wedding invitations. They are more like a little sister to the official invite, sent out early to give your guests advanced notice. They should include your names, a short announcement, and the general location and date of your wedding. You can also include your wedding website, a wedding hashtag, or dedicated social media accounts.

It's important to note that save-the-dates are not a guarantee of a wedding invitation. Your guest list may change due to budget constraints or venue capacity, so only send save-the-dates to those you definitely plan to invite.

While it's exciting to share your news, it's best not to send save-the-dates more than a year in advance. You risk your guests forgetting about your wedding, and you also allow for some flexibility if you need to change the date or location.

After sending save-the-dates, the next step is to send your official wedding invitations. This is typically done six to eight weeks before the wedding, giving your guests enough time to respond and make travel arrangements if needed. The RSVP deadline should be set at least four weeks before the wedding, giving you time to finalise numbers with your vendors and create a seating chart.

Frequently asked questions