Guide To Requesting Wedding Gifts: Hay For Horses

Asking for a plus-one to a wedding can be tricky, but there are a few situations in which it is understandable. If you're married, engaged, living with your partner, or in a long-term committed relationship that the couple is aware of, it's reasonable to expect your partner's name to be included on the invitation. If not, it's acceptable to reach out and ask if a mistake has been made.

However, if you're casually dating or single, it's best not to ask for a plus-one. This is likely due to budget constraints or the couple's preference for an intimate ceremony. Respect the couple's decision and don't take it personally.

If you're unsure about whether you have a plus-one, it's better to ask for clarification than to assume. When reaching out, be straightforward, respectful, and polite. Acknowledge that they may decline, and express gratitude for their consideration.

How to word the request to attend

The request to attend is an important part of your wedding invitation. This is where you extend the invitation to your wedding and set the tone for your celebration. Here are some examples of how to word the request to attend:

• "Request the honour of your presence" (traditionally used to denote a religious ceremony)
• "Request the pleasure of your company" (used to denote a non-religious ceremony)
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"
• "Invite you to share in our joy"

You can also include the names of the couple in this section, for example:

• "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."
• "The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Talia Camila Flores and Stephen Anthony Byrne"

If you want to include a fun or creative twist, you could try something like:

• "Come party with us, Jack Alexander Smith and Mason Jacob Kim, are tying the knot!"
• "Good food, good drinks, good friends. Jack Smith and Mason Kim request you celebrate with them as they get hitched!"

How to include step-parents in the invitation

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many ways to include step-parents, and it largely depends on your relationship with them and the role you want them to play in your wedding. Here is some advice on how to navigate this situation:

Communication is Key

It is important to communicate your wishes and expectations clearly and respectfully. Have open and honest conversations with your step-parents and biological parents to understand their feelings and thoughts on the matter. Discuss the role they would like to play and be firm about your own boundaries and preferences.

Include Them in the Planning

If your step-parents want to be involved, invite them to participate in wedding planning activities. This could include touring venues, dress shopping, menu tasting, assembling favours, or creating welcome bags. You can also assign them specific tasks that align with their interests or strengths.

Mention Them on the Invitations

If your step-parents are contributing financially to the wedding, it is customary and polite to include their names on the invitation. List each party, including step-parents, on separate lines. For example: "Sally and Frank Smith, John and Susan Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter..." This acknowledges their role in making your special day a reality.

Involve Them in the Ceremony

There are several ways to include step-parents in the wedding ceremony. They can walk down the aisle with you, either alone or alongside your biological parent. If both your parents are civil towards each other, consider having them walk you down the aisle together, followed by your step-parents. This sends a message of unity and respect.

Seat Them Appropriately at the Reception

At the reception, ensure that your step-parents are comfortably seated. If your parents are divorced, seat each parent with their spouse at separate tables, along with their own friends or family members. Avoid placing tables too close together if there is tension between your parents or their friends.

Include Them in Photos and Dances

Instruct your photographer to include your step-parents in family portraits. For honour dances, you can choose to dance with your step-parent or invite them to join you halfway through the dance. This is a beautiful way to show your love and appreciation for them.

Gift Exchange

Include your step-parents in wedding-day gift-giving, especially if they have played a significant role in planning your big day. Consider personalised gifts, such as embroidered handkerchiefs or picture frames with family photos.

Remember, every family dynamic is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. The most important thing is to be respectful, inclusive, and mindful of everyone's feelings. By following these suggestions, you can navigate this aspect of your wedding planning with grace and ease.

How to honour deceased parents in the invitation

Honouring deceased parents in a wedding invitation is a thoughtful way to remember them on your special day. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

Wording and Formatting

The traditional wedding invitation format includes the names of the bride's parents as hosts, even if both sets of parents are contributing financially. However, if you wish to honour a deceased parent, the invitation wording needs to be adjusted slightly. Here's an example:

> Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez and the late Robert Martinez, and John Smith, son of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, request the honour of your presence at their wedding...

In this example, the bride's late father is mentioned alongside her mother, followed by the groom's parents. This format can be adapted for same-sex couples by replacing "daughter" with "son" or vice versa.

If you prefer a less formal approach, you can use the phrase "together with their families" to include both sets of parents without specifically naming them. This option is also useful when dealing with more complex family structures, such as divorced and remarried parents.

Honouring Deceased Parents Elsewhere

If you feel that including your deceased parent on the invitation is not appropriate, there are other ways to honour them. You can choose to mention them in the wedding programme, create a memorial table at the reception, or include their names in a tribute during the ceremony. These options allow you to remember your loved one without altering the traditional invitation format.

Other Considerations

When crafting your invitation, it's essential to consider the wishes of your family members. If your fiancé(e) is uncomfortable with including their deceased parent, respect their decision and explore other ways to honour them. Additionally, be mindful of cultural and religious traditions that may influence the invitation format.

Remember, your wedding invitation should reflect your personal style and values. Feel free to adapt these suggestions to create an invitation that truly represents you and your partner.

How to list the couple's names

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few different scenarios and considerations to keep in mind, especially when addressing the names of the couple. Here are some guidelines to help you list the couple's names correctly and appropriately:

For Different-Sex Couples:

• Traditionally, the bride's name is listed first, followed by the groom's full name. This is because the bride's parents are usually the hosts and pay for the wedding.
• If the bride's parents' names are included at the top of the invitation, the bride's name can be her first and middle name, without the last name. In this case, the groom's full name or his first and middle name followed by "Son of Mr. & Mrs." can be used.
• When addressing the outer envelope for a married couple with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. The inner envelope can include their surnames or first names only.
• For a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can use their surnames or first names.
• If one spouse has a hyphenated last name, include both surnames for both individuals on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, use the first person's surname, followed by the second person's hyphenated surname.

For Same-Sex Couples:

• There is more flexibility for same-sex couples. You can choose to list the names alphabetically or based on what sounds best together.
• Middle names are optional and can be included based on personal preference, especially if you want the invitation to sound more formal.
• When addressing the outer envelope, use the appropriate titles and both individuals' names. On the inner envelope, you can use their surnames or first names.

General Guidelines:

• When the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line and start with a warm introduction, such as "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy."
• If both sets of parents are hosting, list the bride's parents' names first, followed by the groom's parents' names.
• In cases of divorced parents, include each parent's name on a separate line. If a stepparent is included, keep them on the same line as their partner.
• If one parent is deceased and you want to honour them, rearrange the wording. For example: "Name of Bride/Groom, daughter/son of Mr. Name of Father and the late Name of Mother, and Mr./Mrs. Name of Stepparent."

How to include post-ceremony details

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few key elements that you should include to ensure your guests have all the information they need. Here is a guide on how to include post-ceremony details in your wedding invitations:

The Request to Attend

This is where you extend an invitation to your guests and set the tone for your celebration. Some options for wording this section are:

• "The pleasure of your company"
• "At the marriage of their children"
• "Would love for you to join them"
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Honor of your presence"

The Names of the Couple

This is an important section of the invitation, as it celebrates the couple getting married. For heterosexual couples, the woman's name typically goes first, but you can order the names however you prefer. For same-sex couples, you can order the names alphabetically, by age, or however, you choose.

Reception Information

If your ceremony and reception are held at the same venue, you can simply state "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow." If your reception is at a different location, include a separate reception card with the start time and address.

Dress Code

Including the dress code on the invitation is optional, but it can be helpful for guests. If you choose not to include it, the invitation design can hint at the formality of the event. For example, a traditional invite with letterpress and calligraphy suggests a formal event, while an invite with a playful font and bright colours indicates a more casual style.

RSVP Details

Most couples include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return. If you prefer, you can direct guests to RSVP through your wedding website. Be sure to include an RSVP date, which is typically two to four weeks before the wedding.

Extra Information

You may also want to include additional details such as directions to the venue, a weekend events card (if your wedding spans multiple days), and an accommodations card for guests travelling from out of town.

Remember, the most important rule is to create a wedding invitation that represents you, your partner, and the celebration to come. Feel free to get creative and make it your own!

Frequently asked questions