Wording Your Wedding Invitation Rsvps: A Guide

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important aspects is managing the guest list and ensuring that you have an accurate headcount for catering purposes. This is where RSVP cards come in, providing a way to confirm attendance and get a sense of the guests' meal preferences. The RSVP, derived from the French phrase Répondez, s'il vous plait, meaning please reply, is a crucial component of the wedding invitation suite. This paragraph aims to introduce the topic of how to word RSVP on a wedding invitation, covering various aspects such as the deadline for response, guest names, meal choices, and creative ways to indicate the number of invited guests.

How to indicate the number of guests invited

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to be clear about how many guests are invited to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some tips on how to indicate the number of guests invited:

Address the invitation specifically to those invited:

• For a couple with no children: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"
• For a couple with children: "The Smith Family"
• For a couple with one child and their partner: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, John Smith and Guest"

On the RSVP card, indicate the number of seats reserved:

• "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour."
• "___ of ___ seats have been reserved in your honour."

Be explicit about the number of guests allowed per invite:

• "___ out of ___ guests attending."
• "___ NUMBER OF GUESTS ATTENDING out of ___."

Create different versions of the RSVP card for different groups:

• A couple without children would receive a card with 2 lines for names/attending.
• A family of 4 would receive a card with 4 lines, unless only 2 children are invited, in which case they would get a card with 2 lines.

If children are not invited, clearly state this on the invitation and RSVP card:

• "Adult-only reception."
• "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour for the ceremony and reception, which are adult-only events."

Remember to manage your expectations. Despite your best efforts, some people may still show up with uninvited guests or children. Try to stay calm and enjoy your special day!

How to politely say it's adults only

When it comes to wedding invitations, it can be tricky to politely request an adults-only event. Here are some suggestions for wording your invitations and RSVPs to ensure a child-free celebration:

Invitation Wording:

The key is to be subtle and focus on the style of the event rather than explicitly stating "adults-only". Here are some ideas:

• Phrases like "intimate ceremony" or "cocktail reception" held at an upscale location such as a "luxury hotel" or "downtown nightclub" imply a more sophisticated atmosphere that may not be suitable for children.
• You can also use venue restrictions as a polite excuse. For example, "Due to limited venue space, we kindly request your understanding that this is an adults-only celebration."
• If you want to be more light-hearted, you could say something like, "We love your kids, but we thought you might like a night off! Adults only, please!"

RSVP Wording:

The RSVP card provides an opportunity to reinforce the adults-only request. Here are some suggestions:

• "We have reserved [number] seats in your honour."
• "Please respond by [date]. ______ adults will attend ______ Sorry to miss it!"
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older/21 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16/18 at the reception."
• "Although we love your little ones, we kindly ask that this be an adult-only affair."
• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."

Additional Tips:

• Address your invitations specifically to those invited. For couples, you can write "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "Mr. John Smith and Miss Jane Doe." For families, you can write "The Smith Family" on the outer envelope and include the names of invited family members on the inner envelope.
• On the RSVP card, you can indicate the number of invited guests by writing, "_____ seats have been reserved in your honour."
• If you have the budget, consider including a name band—a paper wrap digitally printed with guest names—to clearly indicate who is invited.

How to indicate meal preferences

Knowing your guests' meal preferences before your wedding day is a great advantage. It not only makes wedding planning easier but also makes your guests feel valued and considered. It is also appreciated by your caterer and can help to reduce waste. Here are some tips on how to indicate meal preferences on your RSVP cards:

Include a Food Choice Section

On your RSVP card, you can add a food choice section where guests can write or check off their meal preference. This is a straightforward way to collect this information. Ensure there is enough space for more than one guest to write their initials next to each option. You could also include a separate line for each invited guest, making the entrée choice even clearer.

Provide a System for Matching Guests to Meals

It is important to create a system to match each guest to their meal choice. This can be done by having guests write their names and initials, or by using place cards with meal icons on them. This ensures that your caterer knows which guest receives which meal.

Be Clear About Dietary Requirements

Always include a section for guests to indicate any dietary requirements or allergies. This is important information for your caterer and can be collected on the RSVP card or a separate reply card. A simple line such as "please include any dietary requirements" is sufficient.

Consider the Level of Detail

If you have already finalised your wedding menu, you might include a little more detail on each menu choice. For example, instead of just "beef", you could say "filet mignon". This helps your guests make their choice more easily. However, it is not necessary to write out a full menu.

Online RSVP Options

If you are using an online RSVP system as part of your wedding website, you can create additional fields to request each guest's meal choice. This makes it easy to collect food orders and also saves paper.

Children's Meals

Including children's meals can be a little more complicated. Depending on the number of children attending, you can choose to sort out their meals privately. If you want to include children's meal options on the RSVP, you can add a separate card with their options and a way for them to reply, such as their own reply card or a separate email address.

Pros and Cons

There are some pros and cons to consider when deciding whether to include meal choices on your RSVP cards. On the positive side, it reduces food waste, and most caterers prefer this route as it makes their job easier. However, a con is that guests might change their minds about their meal choice by the time of the wedding. Additionally, you will likely need to have place cards so that the correct meal is served to the right guest.

How to set an RSVP deadline

Setting an RSVP deadline for your wedding is crucial to finalising your guest list and planning the details of your big day. Here are some instructive tips on how to set an RSVP deadline:

Consider Your Caterer and Venue's Requirements:

The first step in setting your RSVP deadline is considering the needs of your caterer and venue. Typically, they will request a final headcount one to two weeks before your wedding day. Be sure to ask them for a firm date so you can work backwards from there. Give yourself at least two weeks to gather late responses and provide an accurate headcount to your vendors.

Allow Sufficient Time for Guests to Respond:

When setting your RSVP deadline, give your guests enough time to respond. The recommended timeframe is four to five weeks for guests to RSVP. This allows them to figure out their availability, make travel arrangements if necessary, and be considerate of their other commitments.

Send Invitations in a Timely Manner:

To ensure your guests have ample time to respond, send your invitations out early enough. It is recommended to mail invitations six to eight weeks before your wedding. This gives guests about a month to respond, which is considered the ideal timeframe for them to reply.

Be Mindful of Your Own Planning Timeline:

When setting your RSVP deadline, also consider your own planning timeline. You will need time after the deadline to finalise details such as seating arrangements, table settings, and other last-minute adjustments. Aim to have at least two to three weeks between your RSVP deadline and the wedding day to tackle any outstanding responses and finalise your plans.

Provide a Grace Period and Follow Up:

Despite your best efforts, there may be guests who miss the RSVP deadline. While you can start following up the day after the deadline, it is important to allow a little grace period. Life happens, and some guests may simply forget or need a gentle reminder. Send a friendly text or email to those who haven't responded, expressing your enthusiasm for their attendance and the need for a final headcount.

Example Timeline:

Let's say your wedding day is set for June 20th. Your venue requests a final headcount by June 6th. In this case, your RSVP deadline should be around May 23rd. This gives you two weeks to gather late responses and provide the venue with an accurate number.

Following this timeline, you would mail your invitations by April 25th, aiming for them to arrive in your guests' mailboxes by May 2nd. This gives your guests about a month to respond, which is considered ideal.

In summary, setting an RSVP deadline involves considering the needs of your vendors, allowing sufficient time for guest responses, and giving yourself a buffer for final planning touches. By following these tips, you'll be well on your way to finalising your guest list and having a clear idea of attendance for your big day.

How to remind guests to RSVP

RSVPs are an essential part of wedding planning. They help you streamline the process by giving you an accurate guest count. This is especially important for the caterers, venue, and rental companies, who often need to know the final headcount at least a week in advance. Here are some tips on how to politely remind your guests to RSVP:

• Give your guests enough time to respond – Send out the wedding invitations and RSVP cards at least eight weeks before the event. This gives guests enough time to plan and meet the RSVP deadline.
• State the RSVP deadline clearly – Place the deadline in a visible spot on your RSVP cards and use a large, easy-to-read font. You can also add the deadline to your wedding website and online event invitations.
• Offer multiple RSVP options – Make it convenient for your guests by providing more than one way to RSVP. Include a pre-stamped RSVP card that guests can drop in the mailbox, and also add an RSVP option to your wedding website.
• Ask for guests' meal choices – Food is a great motivator! When guests have the option to choose their meal, they may be more inclined to respond on time.
• Track your responses – Keep a spreadsheet or use an online tool to track all invited guests and mark their RSVPs as they come in. This makes it easy to identify missing RSVPs as the deadline approaches.
• Send reminders before the RSVP deadline – If you're still missing responses, send out friendly reminders via email, social media, or text. Let your guests know you're excited to see them at the wedding and gently remind them of the approaching deadline.
• Get in touch individually after the deadline – If the RSVP deadline has passed and you're still waiting on responses, it's time to be more assertive. Text or call each person individually and politely explain that your venue and caterer need a final headcount.
• Be mindful of your tone – When sending reminders, especially after the deadline, it's important to maintain a positive and polite tone. Your guests may simply have forgotten, or they may be dealing with personal issues.
• Plan for missed RSVPs – Despite your best efforts, there may still be guests who don't respond. It's a good idea to plan for a few gatecrashers and inform your caterer accordingly.

Frequently asked questions