Responding To A Wedding Invitation: Etiquette And Tips

When it comes to responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to be both prompt and polite. Whether you're excited to attend or need to decline with regret, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it's essential to respond as soon as possible to allow the couple to plan accordingly. Secondly, be sure to follow any RSVP instructions provided, whether that's a response card, email, or another method. Thirdly, clearly indicate whether you'll be attending and, if applicable, include the names of any additional guests. It's also a thoughtful gesture to express gratitude for the invitation and to offer congratulations and well-wishes to the couple. Finally, if you're unable to attend, consider sending a card or note of congratulations along with a small gift. By following these guidelines, you can ensure that you're responding to the wedding invitation in a thoughtful and considerate manner.

Respond promptly

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to respond as soon as possible. This allows the couple to plan ahead and gives them enough time to invite someone else if you are unable to make it. It is also a courteous thing to do, especially as wedding planning can be stressful.

Firstly, check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in the invitation. If you are unable to attend, let the couple know promptly. This gives them the opportunity to invite someone else in your place.

If the invitation includes an RSVP card, fill it out and return it as soon as possible. Make sure to include key information such as your full name, whether you are attending, and whether you are bringing a plus one. You can also add a personal touch, such as a cute congratulatory note.

If there is no RSVP card, you can respond in writing or by email. For a formal invitation, write in the third person, following the wording of the invitation. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.

For an informal invitation, you can be more casual in your response, writing in the first person and adding a touch of humour if you wish. For example:

> Dear Thomas and Patricia,

>

> Tim and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on Saturday, 18th August 2023. We look forward to sharing in your special day.

Include your name(s)

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to include your name(s) in your reply. This is a crucial aspect of wedding invitation etiquette, and it helps the couple finalise their catering count, create a seating chart, and address you properly on place cards, escort cards, or personalised favours.

If the invitation includes an RSVP card, the response line should include the names of those who are attending. For example, if the envelope is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", the response card should state, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith accept with pleasure". If the envelope includes additional names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew", the response should also include these names: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew, accept with pleasure".

In the case of a same-sex couple, the formatting remains the same: "Mr. and Mr. Smith accept with pleasure". For unmarried couples, the woman can use "Ms." or "Miss" as her title. For instance, "Ms. Marissa Porte and Mr. Henry Satre accept with pleasure".

If you are unable to attend the wedding, it is still important to include your name(s) on the RSVP card and indicate your inability to attend. This helps the couple finalise their plans and ensures they don't expect your presence on the day.

When responding without a pre-printed response card, your full name and the number of attendees should be included in a full sentence as if you were speaking directly to the host. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will be attending. We are thrilled to join you on your special day."

If you have been invited to bring a plus-one, it is considered good etiquette to include their full name in your response. This shows consideration for the hosts, who may need this information for seating arrangements and other planning purposes.

State if you're bringing a plus-one

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to clarify whether you'll be bringing a plus-one. This is crucial for the hosts' planning, as it affects seating arrangements and catering numbers. Here are some tips on how to handle this aspect of your response:

Firstly, check the invitation carefully to see if a plus-one is offered. Traditional invitations may have an outer and inner envelope, with the inner envelope indicating a plus-one option. Modern invitations may simply include the phrase "and guest". If the invitation is addressed only to you by name, a plus-one is not offered.

If a plus-one is offered and you intend to bring someone, provide their name and relationship to you, if known. This is important for the couple's planning and ensures proper etiquette. It's also a thoughtful gesture that shows your consideration for the couple's wishes.

If you wish to bring a plus-one but the invitation doesn't offer this option, you may consider reaching out to the couple to inquire politely about the possibility. Be mindful that space and budget constraints may limit their ability to accommodate your request.

When responding, always adhere to the specified guidelines and restrictions set by the couple. Each wedding is unique, and your response should match the style and tone of the invitation, whether formal or informal.

Remember, your prompt response is not only polite but also helps the couple plan their special day more effectively. So, be clear and respectful in your reply, providing all the necessary details, including the number of guests attending.

Send a gift if you're not attending

It is important to respond promptly to a wedding invitation, whether you plan to attend or not. This is a courtesy to the couple, who will need to inform the caterer of the final headcount. It is also a common practice to send a gift to the couple if you are unable to attend their wedding. Here are some tips on how to respond to a wedding invitation when you are unable to attend and would like to send a gift:

• Respond promptly and politely: It is important to let the couple know as soon as possible if you are unable to attend their wedding. You can respond in writing or by email, depending on the formality of the invitation. For a formal invitation, a written response is more appropriate, while an email or phone call may be more suitable for an informal invitation.
• Express your regrets: Start your response by expressing your regrets at not being able to attend the wedding. You can use a formal phrase such as "regret that they are unable to accept" or a more informal expression such as "so sorry we will be unable to attend." It is not necessary to provide a reason for your absence, especially if the invitation is highly formal. However, if you have a close relationship with the couple, you may want to explain your absence or mention that you will be thinking of them on their special day.
• Send your well wishes: Even if you are unable to attend, you can still send your congratulations and best wishes to the couple. Let them know that you are excited for them and wish them happiness in their new stage of life. This will show that you care about them and are celebrating their happiness, even if you can't be there in person.
• Include a gift card or contribution: If you would like to send a gift, you can mention this in your response. You can include a gift card or contribute to their honeymoon or a specific item on their registry. It is not necessary to send a gift, but it is a thoughtful way to show your support for the couple.
• Follow up with a gift: After the wedding, you can send a gift to the couple's home address. This could be a physical gift, a contribution to their honeymoon, or a donation to a charity that is important to them. Sending a gift after the wedding is a nice way to show your support and celebrate their marriage, even if you were unable to attend the ceremony.

> Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,

>

> Ms. Mary Smith regrets that she is unable to accept your kind invitation to the wedding of your daughter, Emma, and Mr. Robert Johnson, on Saturday, June 12th, 2023. Please know that I will be thinking of Emma and Robert on their special day and wishing them every happiness.

>

> Sincerely,

>

> Ms. Mary Smith

Remember to personalize your response according to your relationship with the couple and the style of the invitation.

Use the correct titles

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to use the correct titles when addressing the couple and yourself. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Formality

The formality of your response should match the style of the invitation. If the invitation is formal, such as for a black-tie wedding, your response should also be formal. This means using titles and the third person when addressing the couple and yourself. If the invitation is more informal, you can be less formal in your response, using first names and a more casual tone.

When addressing the couple, use their preferred titles and full names. For a married couple, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by their full names. If the couple has the same last name, you can use "Mr. and Mrs. [Name]." If they have different last names, list their names separately or alphabetically, with the person you are closest with first.

For unmarried couples, list each name on a separate line, again with their preferred titles and full names. If you are unsure about a guest's preferred title, it is best to forgo the title and use their first and last name.

When responding to a wedding invitation, use your own preferred title and name. If you are responding on behalf of multiple people, such as your family, use the appropriate titles and names for each person. For young children under 18, you can use "Miss" for girls and no title for boys under 16. Boys over 16 can be addressed as "Mr."

Examples

Formal Response:

> Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Harmsworth,

> Pollyanna and Tim Montagu accept with pleasure your kind invitation to the wedding reception of their daughter Philomena and James Smith on Saturday, 18th August 2023.

Informal Response:

> Dear Thomas and Patricia,

> Tim and I are delighted to accept your invitation to your wedding on Saturday, 18th August 2023. We look forward to sharing your special day with you.

Remember to respond promptly to the wedding invitation and to include any necessary information, such as whether you are bringing a guest.

Frequently asked questions