Strategizing Wedding Invitation Rounds: A Guide To Timing And Etiquette

Sending out wedding invitations can be one of the most complicated steps in the wedding planning process. The timing of sending out wedding invitations is important so that guests can RSVP with enough time for the couple to finalise their wedding day details. For non-destination weddings, it is standard to send out wedding invitations two months in advance. This gives guests enough time to receive their invitation, consider any travel plans and respond accordingly. For destination weddings, it is recommended to send out invitations three to four months in advance to allow guests to secure accommodation, plan their wardrobe and request time off work. It is also important to consider the time it takes to design and order custom invitations. To avoid hurting anyone's feelings, it is generally advised against sending out second-round invitations to those who were not on the original guest list.

Sending out second-round invites

Make B-List Decisions Early

It is important to decide early on if you will need a B-list for your guest list. This will give you enough time to organise your guest list and figure out the logistics of invitations and RSVP deadlines.

Organise Intentionally

When creating your B-list, it is a good idea to organise it in order of priority. Put the people who are important to you but didn't make the initial cut at the top, and those who are less crucial towards the bottom. That way, if you have a certain number of people who can't make it from your A-list, you know exactly who to invite from the B-list.

Make a Separate List for Family and Close Friends

To avoid any potential embarrassment, it is advisable to keep family and close friends separate from more distant acquaintances when organising your B-list. This reduces the chances of people comparing their invites and realising they may have been on the B-list.

Send Invitations Early

If you are sending out invitations to your A-list guests 6-8 weeks in advance (which is the general recommendation), you should consider sending your B-list invitations earlier, perhaps 12 weeks in advance. This gives you a buffer to see who can't make it from your A-list and allows you to send out B-list invites without cutting it too close to the wedding date.

Have Two Sets of RSVP Cards

To maintain consistency, it is a good idea to have two sets of RSVP cards with different deadlines. The first set, for your A-list guests, could have an RSVP deadline of around 8 weeks before the wedding. The second set, for your B-list guests, could have a deadline of around 3 weeks before the wedding, which aligns with traditional etiquette.

Mail the B-List Invites at Once

Choose a deadline for adding B-list guests to your "invited" list and mail all the B-list invitations on the same day. This helps you keep track of your guest list and ensures that invitations are sent out in a timely manner.

Remember, it is generally considered rude to have a B-list, and some guests may feel offended if they realise they are on one. However, if you are transparent and communicate your situation to your guests, they may understand, especially if you have a good reason for having a B-list, such as venue capacity or budget constraints.

Save-the-date etiquette

Save-the-dates are an essential part of wedding planning. They are the official announcement of your wedding date and location and let guests know that they will be invited to the celebration. Here are some tips to ensure you get the most out of your save-the-dates:

When to Send

As a general rule, send your save-the-dates four to eight months before the wedding. For destination weddings, it is recommended to send them up to nine months to a year in advance. This gives your guests enough time to book travel and accommodation and increases the likelihood that they will be able to attend.

Who to Send Them To

Only send save-the-dates to those you plan on inviting to the wedding. It is also recommended to send one per household rather than per person. Once the save-the-dates are in the mail, you can't go back, so be sure your guest list is accurate and final.

What to Include

Save-the-dates should include your names, the location, and the exact wedding date. You can also include your wedding hashtag and wedding website URL. This is also a good place to include a link to your registry. However, do not include reply cards or registry information on the save-the-date.

How to Send

You can send your save-the-dates via email or mail. Emails are convenient and budget-friendly, but delivery is not guaranteed, so be sure to follow up. If you choose to mail your save-the-dates, take them to the post office and have them weighed by a clerk to get the exact price per card.

Timing for destination weddings

Destination weddings are a great way to celebrate your special day in a dream location, but they require a bit more planning when it comes to sending out invitations. Here are some tips to ensure your guests have enough time to prepare for their attendance:

• Send Save-the-Dates early: For destination weddings, it is recommended to send out your Save-the-Dates 9-12 months in advance. This gives your guests ample time to plan their travel and accommodation, especially if they need to request time off from work. It also ensures that your guests can secure their spots, as destinations with limited accommodation may book up quickly.
• Invitation timing: Unlike local weddings, destination wedding invitations should be sent out 3-4 months before the wedding. This is to give your guests enough time to finalise their travel plans and make any necessary arrangements. Sending the invitations earlier can be beneficial, especially if you have guests coming from international destinations, as it accounts for lengthier mailing times.
• RSVP deadline: Set your RSVP deadline for 3-4 weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to follow up with guests who haven't responded and finalise details with your vendors. It is also beneficial to have a clear idea of the guest count for catering and seating arrangements.
• What to include: In addition to the standard invitation card, include an RSVP card and a return envelope with postage included. You may also want to include a separate information card with details on how to reach the destination, accommodation options, and things to do in the area. If you are hosting additional events, such as a dinner or lunch, include those details as well.
• Gifts: For destination weddings, it is considerate to mention that their presence is gift enough, as guests are already spending extra on travel and accommodation.

Timing for non-destination weddings

The timing of sending out wedding invitations is crucial to ensure that guests have enough time to decide whether they will attend and formally RSVP. For non-destination weddings, it is standard to send out wedding invitations two months in advance of the wedding date. This buffer period is intended to give guests enough time to receive their invitation, consider any travel plans, and respond accordingly. Sending the invitations too early may cause guests to forget about the invite altogether, while sending them too late may cause guests to scramble to arrange their plans.

It is recommended to set the RSVP deadline to be at least a couple of weeks in advance of the wedding, ideally three to four weeks prior. This allows enough time to follow up with guests who have not responded and to finalise the seating chart and share the guest count with caterers.

When planning the timing of sending out wedding invitations, it is important to account for the time it takes to design and create custom wedding invitations. Allow at least two months for the entire design process, including communication, design brainstorming, revisions, printing, and assembly.

Save-the-dates are also an important consideration. They are typically sent out six to eight months before the wedding date, especially if guests will need to travel or make accommodation arrangements. Sending save-the-dates ensures that your guests have ample notice and can plan their schedules accordingly.

Overall, for non-destination weddings, the recommended timeline is as follows:

• 6-8 months before the wedding: Send save-the-dates.
• 5-6 months before the wedding: Secure an invitation designer if you plan to have custom invitations.
• 2 months before the wedding: Send out the wedding invitations.
• 3-4 weeks before the wedding: Set the RSVP deadline.

How to prepare your invites for mailing

Preparing your wedding invites for mailing is a crucial step in the wedding planning process. Here's a detailed guide to help you get it right:

Organise Your Stationery:

Start by organising your stationery so that it's neatly stowed inside each envelope. The order of the items inside the envelope is important. Typically, the invitation card goes first, followed by any additional cards like RSVP cards and accommodation details. Ensure that all the necessary items are included and placed in the correct order before sealing the envelopes.

Finalise Postage:

Before adding postage to your invitations, it's a good idea to take a fully assembled invitation (including all inserts) to your local post office to have it weighed. This will help you determine the exact postage required, which may be more than the standard letter rate, especially for bulky or heavier invitations. Knowing the correct postage will ensure you don't underpay, preventing potential delivery issues.

Proofread and Seal:

Proofreading is an essential step that cannot be overlooked. Double-check all the addresses and other details on the envelopes before sealing them. This will give you peace of mind and help ensure your invitations reach their intended destinations without issues. After proofreading, seal the envelopes securely. Instead of licking the adhesive liner, use a cotton swab or paintbrush to moisten it. This method is more hygienic and helps cover the entire adhesive strip effectively.

Add Stamps:

It is recommended to add sufficient postage to your invitations before dropping them off at the post office. This saves time and ensures that you have the desired stamps, maintaining the aesthetic of your envelopes.

Hand-Cancelling:

When you bring your invitations to the post office, ask the clerk about hand-cancelling. This means that the stamps will be manually marked or crossed out to prevent reuse, and your invitations won't be put through a machine, avoiding potential damage. Hand-cancelling is especially important for bulky invitations or those with embellishments like ribbon or wax seals.

International Invitations:

If you're sending invitations internationally, double-check the postage requirements and restrictions on the postal service website. Mailing internationally is typically more expensive and may have specific guidelines to follow. Allow extra time for international invitations to reach their destinations, and consider providing a digital RSVP option for these guests to expedite their response.

Frequently asked questions