Declining Plus Ones: Crafting Your Wedding Invitation Wording

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and one of the most challenging aspects is deciding on the guest list. One of the trickiest wedding etiquette issues is how to word wedding invitations with no plus one. While it may be an uncomfortable conversation, it is essential to communicate your wishes clearly to avoid any misunderstandings. Here are some tips on how to say no to plus ones on your wedding invitations:

- Be Clear and Direct: On the invitation, only include the name of the invited guest. Avoid using phrases like and guest if you do not want them to bring a plus one.

- Explain Your Reasons: If you are comfortable doing so, you can include a brief explanation for not allowing plus ones. For example, you can mention budget constraints or space limitations.

- Address Envelopes Carefully: When sending out invitations, be careful about how you address the envelopes. Addressing the invitation only to the invited guest by name can be a subtle way to indicate that plus ones are not allowed.

- Use RSVP Cards: Another way to communicate your wishes is through RSVP cards. You can include a line that says, We have reserved ____ seat(s) in your honour, clearly indicating the number of guests invited.

- Provide Information on Your Wedding Website: Having a wedding website can be a useful tool to explain your plus-one policy. You can add an FAQ section to address any questions guests may have. For example, you can state, Due to limited space, we unfortunately cannot accommodate plus-ones beyond those named on the wedding invitation. We hope you understand our decision.

- Be Consistent: It is important to apply your plus-one rules consistently across the board. Avoid showing favouritism, as this can create tension among your guests.

- Consider Special Circumstances: While you may have set guidelines, be open to considering special circumstances. For example, if a guest gets engaged or their relationship becomes more serious after you send out the invitations, you may want to reconsider and extend a plus-one invitation.

- Emphasize Community: When discussing your decision with guests, emphasize that you want your wedding to be an intimate celebration with your nearest and dearest. Explain that by not allowing plus-ones, you can invite more members of your community to share the day with you.

Explain your reasoning

We want our wedding to be an intimate affair with our closest family and friends. We have a limited budget and space constraints, so we are unable to accommodate plus-ones for all our guests. We want to keep the numbers manageable so that we can spend quality time with each of our guests.

We have tried to be fair and consistent in our approach to plus-ones. We have only extended plus-ones to those guests who are married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship. We have also allowed plus-ones for guests who are travelling from overseas or those who won't know many people at the wedding.

We understand that some guests may be disappointed, but we hope that they will understand our decision and still choose to celebrate with us. We want to ensure that everyone has a wonderful time, so we will be putting a lot of thought into our seating plan to ensure that single guests feel comfortable and are seated with people they know.

We kindly request that guests do not bring plus-ones who are not listed on the invitation. We appreciate your cooperation and look forward to celebrating with you!

Be clear on the RSVP card

When it comes to wedding planning, navigating the guest list and deciding on plus-ones can be tricky. Here are some tips on how to be clear about not allowing plus-ones on your RSVP cards:

Be Explicit About the Number of Seats

One effective way to communicate that plus-ones are not allowed is to explicitly state the number of seats reserved for each guest on the RSVP card. You can use phrases such as "We have reserved ____ seat(s) in your honour" or "____ out of ____ guest(s) will attend". Filling in the number of seats by hand ensures clarity and leaves no room for ambiguity. This approach helps set clear expectations and prevents guests from assuming they can bring additional people.

Address the Invitation to the Specific Guest

Another strategy to indicate no plus-ones is to address the invitation directly to the intended guest without adding "and guest". For example, the envelope can simply state "Mr. John Doe" instead of "The Doe Family". By addressing the invitation specifically to the individual, you imply that only that person is invited, and there is no option to bring a plus-one.

Provide Additional Wording on the RSVP Card

You can also include additional wording on the RSVP card to reinforce the message. For instance, you can add a line such as "Please restrict attendees in your party to those specifically listed on the invitation." This reinforces that only those named on the invitation are invited and that plus-ones are not permitted.

Be Consistent and Stick to Your Rules

It's important to establish clear criteria for who gets a plus-one and be consistent in applying those rules. If you've set guidelines, such as only allowing plus-ones for couples who are married, engaged, or in long-term relationships, stick to them. This helps avoid any perception of favouritism and ensures fairness in your guest list management.

Handle Exceptions Gracefully

Despite your best efforts, some guests may still inquire about bringing a plus-one. In such cases, it's essential to handle these requests gracefully. Assess each situation individually and consider factors like budget, venue capacity, and the nature of the relationship. If you truly cannot accommodate a plus-one, be polite and explain your limitations. You can say something like, "We would love for you to bring a guest, but this is a very intimate affair." It's best to communicate these decisions over the phone or in person rather than via email.

Include it in the FAQs

FAQs

Q. Can I bring a plus one to your wedding?

A. Unfortunately, we're on a tight budget and have limited space, so we simply can’t afford for all of our lovely guests to bring a guest of their own. Plus ones are therefore by invitation only and we ask other guests to please not bring a plus one. Thank you so much for understanding!

Q. Why can't I bring a plus one?

A. We are on a tight budget and have limited space. We want to keep our wedding as intimate as possible, so we're only inviting our closest loved ones.

Q. What if I don't know anyone at the wedding?

A. We will be sure to seat you with people you know. We will also be having a wedding website with photos and details of our bridal party and other guests, so you can put some faces to names before the big day.

Q. What if I want to bring a date?

A. We understand that some guests may feel more comfortable bringing a plus one, especially if they don't know many people at the wedding. We politely ask that you come solo, but we will be delighted to meet your partner at another time.

Q. What if I want to bring my child?

A. We request no children at the reception. Please join us for an adult-only celebration.

Be mindful of guests travelling from overseas

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the trickiest aspects is navigating the guest list and deciding who gets a plus-one. While it is ultimately up to the couple's discretion, there are some general guidelines and etiquette tips to consider. Here are some tips specifically for being mindful of guests travelling from overseas:

Choose a Convenient Location:

Select a destination that is easily accessible for your overseas guests. Opt for locations with direct flights and shorter travel times. Consider the pinch points they might encounter, such as transportation to and from the airport and the availability of accommodation options. Make sure to take into account any elderly family members or guests with young children who may have additional needs.

Provide Comprehensive Travel Information:

Create a wedding website or include detailed inserts with your invitations. Share key information such as flight times, dates, and costs. If possible, negotiate group discounts on flights and accommodations and share these details with your guests. Provide a range of accommodation options at different price points to cater to varying budgets. Consider organising airport transfers or providing recommendations for transportation to and from the airport.

Offer a Warm Welcome:

Make your guests feel special from the moment they arrive. You can organise personalised pick-up experiences at the airport and provide welcome packs with essential information and local recommendations. Think about creating fun and playful invitations, such as a message in a bottle with sand or a miniature beverage gift representing the country.

Plan Additional Events:

Since your guests are travelling from overseas, it's a thoughtful gesture to extend the celebration beyond the wedding day. Host a pre-wedding dinner, a welcome party, or a surprise sunset cruise to thank your guests for making the journey. This also provides an opportunity for everyone to get to know each other, especially if you have a more intimate group.

Be Mindful of Cultural Customs:

When planning a destination wedding, remember that cultural customs and traditions may differ from those in your home country. Communicate your wishes and requirements clearly with your venue managers and planners to ensure a smooth and respectful celebration.

Consider Guest Budgets:

Travelling to a wedding can be expensive, so try to provide options that make it affordable for your guests. Negotiate group discounts on accommodations, and if possible, contribute towards or cover some of the travel costs for your guests. Remember that your guests will also want to participate in other wedding-related events, so give them a heads-up about any additional expenses they may need to budget for.

Share Save-the-Dates Early:

Give your overseas guests as much advance notice as possible by sending out save-the-dates eight to 12 months before the wedding. This will allow them to make the necessary travel arrangements and ensure they can be a part of your special day.

Stick to your boundaries

Sticking to your boundaries is an important part of wedding planning. It can be difficult to say no to plus ones, especially when you want to keep your guest list small and intimate. Here are some tips to help you stick to your boundaries:

Be Clear and Consistent

It is important to be clear and consistent when communicating your no plus-ones policy. This means using clear wording on your wedding invitations, RSVP cards, and website. Be direct and state that only named guests are invited, or that you are unable to accommodate plus-ones due to budget or space constraints. This reduces the risk of misunderstandings and sets the right expectations for your guests.

Address Invitations Properly

When addressing your wedding invitations, make sure to only include the names of the invited guests. For example, write "Mr John Smith" instead of "Mr John Smith plus Guest". This simple yet effective strategy helps to convey your no plus-ones policy without being overly explicit.

Stick to Your Rules

If you've decided on a no plus-ones rule, it's important to stick to it. Making exceptions for certain guests can lead to hurt feelings and resentment among other invitees. It's okay to have a blanket rule, such as "only guests that are married or cohabiting are allowed to bring their partner". Consistency is key to avoiding potential drama and maintaining your boundaries.

Be Firm but Not Aggressive

When guests inquire about bringing a plus-one, it's important to be firm but not aggressive in your response. You can politely explain that your venue has limited space or that you are trying to keep the wedding intimate. Be confident in your decision and don't feel pressured to compromise your boundaries.

Communicate in Advance

Consider mentioning your no plus-ones policy in casual conversations about your wedding plans. Explain that your venue is small or that you're working with a tight budget, which doesn't allow for additional guests. By communicating this in advance, you can soften the impact of the rule when guests receive their invitations.

Offer Alternative Arrangements

If you're concerned about your guests' enjoyment, consider offering alternative arrangements. For example, you can plan another celebration after the wedding that includes plus-ones. Alternatively, work on creating a comfortable seating arrangement for solo guests, placing them between friendly couples to encourage a communal feel.

Frequently asked questions