Deborah Chan
When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles for each guest, such as Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., or Mx.. Secondly, the format of the invitation varies depending on whether you are using a single envelope or an inner and outer envelope. When inviting a family with children, the traditional way to address the invitation is to list the parents' names on the outer envelope and the children's names on the inner envelope. Children under 18 are typically not included on the outer envelope, while adult children over 18 should receive their own invitations. It is also important to be clear about whom in the family is invited to avoid any confusion.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Outer envelope | Mr. and Mrs. John Smith |
| Inner envelope | Mr. and Mrs. Smith Peter, Paul, and Mary |
| Children under 18 | Included under their parents' names on the inner envelope |
| Children over 18 | Receive their own invitation |
| Female children under 18 | Miss |
| Male children under 18 | No title |
What You'll Learn
Children under 18: Addressed as 'Miss' or Master on the inner envelope only
When addressing a wedding invitation to a family with children, the traditional way to word the invitation is to list the children's names on the inner envelope but not on the outer one. This rule applies to any child under the age of 18.
When including female children under the age of 18, they are addressed as "Miss" followed by their first name. Boys under 18 do not need a title, and boys under 16 are not addressed as "Mr.". To add formality, you can use the title "Master" for boys under 13.
Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Smith Peter, Paul, Miss Mary
If you are inviting a family with children over the age of 18, they should each receive their own invitation.
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Children over 18: Receive their own invitation
When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, tradition and formality are often key. This is especially true when addressing invitations to families with children. If the children in the family you are inviting are aged 18 or over, they should receive their own invitations. This is a clear indication that they are invited.
If you are using inner and outer envelopes (formal), the outer envelope should include the guest's full name and mailing address. The inner envelope is more informal and includes only the recipient's name. When addressing adult children, you can use "Mr." for males and "Ms." for females. You can also include their last name, but this is not necessary. Here's an example:
Outer envelope: Mr. Michael Abraham
Inner envelope: Mr. Abraham
If you are using a single outer envelope (informal), the format is the same as the outer envelope in the traditional format. Include the guest's full name and mailing address, and use "Mr." or "Ms." followed by their last name, if desired. Here's an example:
Outer envelope: Ms. Audrey Abraham
It's important to note that while tradition dictates that males over 18 are addressed as "Mr." and females as "Ms.", you may choose to omit these titles altogether if you wish to follow a more modern approach. In this case, you can simply address the invitation to the person's full name.
Remember, when inviting families with children over 18, it's essential to send a separate invitation to each adult child to ensure they feel included and welcomed to your special day.
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Boys over 16: Addressed as 'Mr.'
When addressing a wedding invitation to a family with children, the traditional way to word the invitation is to list the children's names on the inner envelope but not the outer one. Boys over 16 are addressed as "Mr." on the inner envelope. Here are four examples of how to address wedding invitations to boys over 16:
Example 1:
Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Smith Peter, Paul, and Mary
Example 2:
Outer envelope: The Thompson Family
Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Mr. Michael
Example 3:
Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham
Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly
Example 4:
If the boy over 16 is living with his parents, he should receive his own invitation:
Outer envelope: Mr. Michael Abraham
Inner envelope: Mr. Michael Abraham
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Girls over 18: Addressed as 'Ms.'
When addressing a wedding invitation to a girl over 18 who is single, it is appropriate to use "Ms." as her title. Here are some examples of how to address the outer and inner envelopes for this scenario:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen" or "Stephanie"
If the single woman has been offered a plus-one, you can indicate this on the inner envelope only. Here is an example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
It is worth noting that some sources suggest that it is more formal to include the guest's name on the outer envelope if it is known. In this case, you would address the invitation as follows:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Jessica Spano, Mr. Albert Clifford Slater"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Spano, Mr. Slater" or "Jessie, A.C."
If the woman is a widow, it is best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or "Ms." The same applies to divorced women, who may prefer "Ms." or "Mrs." and either their married or maiden name. Here are some examples:
Outer envelope: "Mrs. George Devereaux" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon"
Inner envelope: "Mrs. Devereaux" or "Mrs./Ms. Lyon"
If the woman has a distinguished title, such as a judge, this should be included in the address. For example:
Outer envelope: "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor"
Inner envelope: "Judge Sotomayor"
If the woman is a doctor, you can address her as such, either on its own or combined with "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on her preference. For example:
Outer envelope: "Doctor Michaela Quinn" or "Doctor and Mrs. Perry Cox"
Inner envelope: "Dr. Quinn" or "Dr. and Mrs. Cox"
In the case of a married couple where the wife has a distinguished title or is a doctor, her name is listed first. For example:
Outer envelope: "The Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mr. Martin David Ginsburg" or "Doctor Rainbow and Mr. Andre Johnson, Sr."
Inner envelope: "Judge Ginsburg and Mr. Ginsburg" or "Dr. Rainbow and Mr. Johnson"
If the woman is part of a same-sex couple, the same etiquette applies as for any other couple. If they are married or live together, list both names on the same line. For example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Susan Bunch and Ms. Carol Willik-Bunch"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Bunch and Ms. Willik-Bunch" or "Susan and Carol"
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Non-binary children: Use the honorific 'Mx.'
When addressing a wedding invitation to a non-binary child, it is important to use the correct honorific as a sign of respect. The traditional honorifics of Miss, Mrs, Ms, and Mr are gendered and may not be appropriate for everyone. Instead, a gender-neutral title should be used.
The honorific "Mx" is a widely accepted and recognised gender-neutral alternative. It was first used in print in 1977 and has since been added to the Oxford and Merriam-Webster English dictionaries. The "x" in "Mx" is intended to act as a wildcard character, removing the gendered aspect of traditional honorifics.
When addressing a wedding invitation to a non-binary child, the outer envelope can be formal, following the format of "Mx. [Full Name]." This format is foolproof and can be used for guests of all genders. For example, "Mx. Sam Li."
The inner envelope is more informal, and you can choose to include or exclude certain elements of the formal name format. For instance, "Sam Li" or "Mx. Sam Li."
It is important to respect the preferences of your guests when it comes to honorifics and personal titles. Always double-check each attendee's preferred personal titles and use them accordingly on your wedding invitations.
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Frequently asked questions
If the children are under 18, include their names on the inner envelope only. List the children's names under the parents' names, from oldest to youngest. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". If the whole family is invited, use the family name or the parents' names on the outer envelope.
Yes, children over the age of 18, regardless of whether they live with their parents, should receive their own invitations.
If you don't include each child's name on the invitation, it implies that children are not invited. However, it's still a good idea to spread the word through your family and wedding party and add a message to your wedding website to avoid any confusion.
