Responding To Wedding Invites: A Guide To Gracious Etiquette

Wedding planning is no easy feat, so it's important to do what you can to facilitate things for the happy couple. One of the first steps to achieving this is to respond to the wedding invite promptly. This is especially important if you can't make it, as the couple will then have time to invite someone else in your place. It's also a good idea to be mindful of the couple's organisational progress and the money they have riding on your attendance. So, before you receive your next wedding invitation, here's what you need to know about wedding RSVP etiquette.

RSVP cards

RSVPing to a Wedding

Respond Promptly

It is courteous to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. Check your schedule, consult with anyone else included in your invitation, and make your decision. Sending back the RSVP card early helps the couple planning the wedding and avoids last-minute hassles.

Include Full Names

Write the titles and full names of all invited guests, including yourself and any plus-ones or children, if applicable. This information is essential for the couple to create a master guest list and personalised name cards.

Specify Number of Guests

If you have been given a plus-one, indicate the number of people attending. Couples need this information for seating arrangements and catering purposes. Remember, the reply card is not the place to request a plus-one if it wasn't offered in the invitation.

Indicate Dietary Restrictions

If the couple has provided entrée options, choose your preference and indicate any dietary restrictions or allergies. This information is crucial for the couple to share with their caterer, ensuring everyone's needs are accommodated.

Add a Personal Note

An RSVP card is an opportunity to express your excitement and well-wishes for the couple. Include a short note about how much you're looking forward to celebrating with them. It's a nice way to show your enthusiasm and make your response stand out.

Inform of Any Changes

If you have accepted the invitation but later find out you can no longer attend, contact the couple immediately. Similarly, if you need to add a plus-one after already responding, let them know as soon as possible. This courtesy allows the couple to make any necessary adjustments to their plans.

Handwritten Responses

If you didn't receive an RSVP card, a handwritten note or a congratulatory card is a thoughtful way to respond. Depending on your relationship with the couple, you can opt for a personal or formal note. If declining, keep the reason brief and wish them a wonderful day.

Formal Wording

For a formal wedding invitation, a formal and cordial response is typically expected. Here is an example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.

Informal Wording

For a more informal invitation, such as from a friend or acquaintance, your response can be less formal while still being courteous. Here is an example:

> I am pleased to accept your invitation. Please let me know if I can bring a plus-one.

Handwritten responses

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to do so promptly. Check your schedule, consult with anyone else included in your invitation, and make your response as soon as possible. This is because the couple will have a lot of money and organisation riding on whether you attend or not. If you can't make it, they will have time to invite someone else in your place.

If your invite did not include an RSVP card, you should respond with a nice handwritten note or a congratulatory card. Depending on your relationship with the couple, you can either write a personal note (for longtime friends or family) or a formal note (for colleagues or casual acquaintances).

> Dear [Couple's Names],

>

> [Partner's Name] and I are delighted to attend your wedding on [Date].

If you are unable to attend, there is no need to bog the couple down with too many details. Keep it short and sweet:

> Dear [Couple's Names],

>

> Thank you kindly for your invite, however, we regret to inform you that we will not be able to attend. We will be thinking of you from afar and hope your special day will be everything you imagined it to be.

If something unforeseen happens and you cannot attend after you've accepted the invitation, call the couple immediately. It is the courteous thing to do, and they will need to inform the caterer.

Informing the couple in advance

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to inform the couple of your decision as soon as possible. This allows them to plan accordingly, especially if they have a lot of money and organisation riding on whether you attend or not. Here are some tips on how to inform the couple in advance:

Check your schedule and respond promptly

As soon as you receive a wedding invitation, check your calendar and finalise your plans. It is important to respond promptly, as this will help the couple with their planning. If you are unable to attend, let them know as soon as possible so they can invite someone else in your place if they wish.

Use the provided RSVP card

Many wedding invitations come with RSVP cards, which make it easy for guests to respond quickly. Simply tick the box that applies to you and your plus one, and send the card back in the provided envelope. If you need to bring a guest, make a note of it on the card so the couple knows how many people to expect.

Respond with a handwritten note or card

If the invitation does not include an RSVP card, send a nice handwritten note or a congratulatory card to the couple. Depending on your relationship with them, you can write a personal or formal note. If you are accepting, you can write something like:

> "Dear [Couple],

> Tom and I are delighted to attend your wedding on [date].

> We are looking forward to the celebration!"

If you are unable to attend, there is no need to go into too much detail. A short and sweet note will suffice:

> "Dear [Couple],

> Thank you kindly for your invitation, however, we regret to inform you that we will not be able to attend. We will be thinking of you on your special day and hope it will be everything you imagined."

Inform the couple if your plans change

If something unforeseen happens and you can no longer attend after accepting the invitation, be sure to let the couple know as soon as possible. It is the courteous thing to do, and it will help them with their planning, especially regarding catering and seating arrangements.

What to include in your response

When responding to a wedding invitation, it's important to be clear, concise, and courteous. Here are some key things to include in your response:

Promptness

Responding promptly is crucial. Check your schedule, consult with anyone else included in the invitation, and make your response as soon as possible. This is especially important if you can't attend, as it gives the couple time to invite someone else. Sending back the RSVP card as soon as possible is considerate and helpful to the couple, who are likely trying to finalise their plans.

Names

If you're attending, write the full names of all invited guests, including yourself, your spouse, date, or children. This information is essential for the couple to create a final guest list and table place cards. If you're not attending, you may still want to include your name and the names of those who were invited to make it clear who is and isn't coming.

Acceptance or Regret

Clearly state whether you accept or decline the invitation. If accepting, a simple "Accept with pleasure" or "We will attend" is sufficient. If you need to decline, a polite expression of regret is appropriate, such as "Regretfully decline" or "Regret that they are unable to accept." You don't need to go into detail about why you can't attend, but a brief note expressing your disappointment and well wishes is considerate.

Number of Guests

If you've been given a plus one, indicate the number of people attending. This is important for the couple when creating seating charts and place cards.

Dietary Restrictions

If there is an option to choose entrées, indicate your preference. This is also a good opportunity to mention any dietary restrictions or allergies. The couple will want to ensure that all guests can be accommodated and will need to inform the caterer of any special requirements.

Well Wishes

An RSVP is a great opportunity to express your excitement and appreciation. A short note wishing the couple well or expressing your eagerness to celebrate with them is a thoughtful addition to your response.

Contact the Couple

If you need to cancel after accepting the invitation, it's essential to contact the couple immediately. They may need to inform the caterer or invite someone else in your place. Similarly, if you've sent a card declining the invitation but are now able to attend, be sure to reach out personally to let them know.

Format

Finally, consider the format of your response. Formal invitations usually require a formal and cordial response, while informal invitations allow for a more casual tone. If the invitation includes an RSVP card, fill it out legibly and return it promptly. Otherwise, a handwritten note or a congratulatory card is a nice touch, especially for close friends and family.

Responding to a foreign invitation

When responding to a foreign wedding invitation, it is important to consider the character of the wedding and your relationship with the couple. If the wedding is formal, a formal response is warranted. A formal response to a wedding invitation is usually written in the third person and follows the wording of the invitation. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.

If the invitation includes an RSVP card and a pre-stamped envelope, be sure to fill out the card and send it back promptly. If you are responding informally, you can mention something about the ceremony you are looking forward to or reference an inside joke. Here is an example of an informal response:

> Dear Sara and Henry, Congratulations on this exciting milestone! We always knew you two were meant to be. Can’t wait to see you make it official. We will absolutely be there on March 2nd. Love, your biggest supporters from day 1, Ian and Alana.

If you are responding to a foreign invitation in a language that is not your own, you may want to consider taking an online language course to ensure you respond appropriately and avoid any misunderstandings. It is also important to be mindful of cultural differences and etiquette when responding to a foreign wedding invitation.

Lastly, remember to respond promptly to any wedding invitation, regardless of whether it is foreign or not. This will allow the couple to plan accordingly and invite someone else if necessary.

Frequently asked questions