Inviting Guests To Your Wedding: The Etiquette Of Including Plus-Ones

should wedding invitations include a guest

Wedding invitations are a crucial part of the big day, and it's important to get them right. One common dilemma is whether to include a plus-one for single guests. While it's not necessary to give every guest a plus-one, it's a nice gesture to give them the option to bring a date, especially if the wedding is semi-formal. There are a few ways to indicate this, such as writing and Guest on the inner envelope, or including an extra line on the RSVP card for the number of guests attending. However, it's important to be mindful of your guest list limit and budget constraints when making this decision.

Characteristics Values
Should you include a plus-one? If you want to give your single guests the option to bring a date, it is acceptable to include "and guest" on the invitation envelope.
How to address a plus-one If you know the name of the plus-one, write both names on the envelope. If not, "and guest" is sufficient.
How to address a single person Always use the person's preferred title. If you're unsure, it's better to leave out the title.
How to address a family The outer envelope should be addressed to the parents/guardians. Each child's name should be listed on the inner envelope.
How to address a married couple Put the couple's names on the same line. If they have different last names, list the person you're closest with first, or go in alphabetical order.
How to address an unmarried couple Both names should be included, but on separate lines. List the person you're closest with first, or go in alphabetical order.

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Inviting single guests with a plus-one

When it comes to inviting single guests with a plus-one to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. While it is not necessary to give every single guest a plus-one, it is a nice gesture, especially if you know they would be attending alone. It is perfectly acceptable to extend a solo invite if they are not in a serious relationship, but numbers can add up quickly, and costs can escalate.

If you are happy for your single friends to bring a plus-one, there are a few ways to go about it. Firstly, you could include an extra line on your RSVP cards for the number of guests attending, but this does run the risk of people bringing more guests than you anticipated or can accommodate. To avoid this, you could pre-fill the number of seats reserved for each guest, or write something like "We have reserved __ amount of seats in your honour". Alternatively, you could include an inner envelope with your invitations, which is where you would list the names of any plus-ones. If you only have one envelope, it is perfectly acceptable to write the guest's name and "and guest".

If you are unable to accommodate all your single friends bringing a plus-one, you could set clear criteria, such as only allowing members of the bridal party to bring a plus-one, or only those in serious relationships. It is important to be consistent with this, as guests may be upset if they see that others have been allowed to bring a guest when they were not. If you are unable to accommodate plus-ones, it is a good idea to call those guests and politely explain that due to space or budget constraints, you are unable to accommodate extra guests. You could also suggest that you will put their plus-one on a waiting list and will let them know if space becomes available.

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Inviting families with children

When it comes to inviting families with children to your wedding, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure smooth planning and execution. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you navigate this aspect of your wedding invitation process:

  • Outer Envelope Etiquette: When addressing the outer envelope for a family with children, it is customary to include the names of the parent(s) or guardian(s). For example, if you are inviting a family with young children (under 18), address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham". This indicates that the invitation is intended for the parents, and the inner envelope will specify whether children are also invited.
  • Inner Envelope Details: The inner envelope is where you specify whether children are included in the invitation. If you are inviting the entire family, including young children, list each child's name on the inner envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly". This format makes it clear that the whole family is invited.
  • Indicating Adults-Only: If you are opting for an adults-only wedding and want to extend the invitation to the parents only, the outer envelope remains the same, but the inner envelope should only include the parents' names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham". By excluding the children's names, you are indicating that they are not invited.
  • Age Considerations: It's important to note that the use of titles for children varies with age. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if desired. Boys don't need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".
  • Families with Older Children: If you are inviting a family with children who are 18 or older, each child should receive their own invitation unless they live at home with their parents. In this case, follow the same format as mentioned in the previous steps for addressing the outer and inner envelopes.
  • Communication is Key: Despite your best efforts, some guests may still assume their children are welcome even if they are not listed on the inner envelope. To avoid confusion and minimize misunderstandings, it is advisable to ask your immediate family and wedding party to help spread the word that the wedding will be adults-only. Additionally, include this information on your wedding website to ensure maximum visibility.
  • RSVP Card Instructions: When sending response cards, it is essential to include a pre-addressed envelope and stamp for your guests' convenience. Number the names on your guest list and write the corresponding number on the back of the response card. This will help you keep track of responses, especially if the handwriting is illegible or a guest forgets to include their name.
  • Meal Choices and Checkboxes: If you are offering meal choices at your wedding, include checkboxes on the response cards for guests to select their preferences, such as chicken, fish, steak, or vegetarian options. This ensures that your guests can easily indicate their choices, making it easier for you to plan accordingly.
  • Direction Cards: Providing direction cards is always a good idea, especially considering that guests may encounter phone or connectivity issues when trying to navigate to your wedding venue. Legibility is key, so choose a font that is easy to read for all guests. You can also include directions and the venue address on your wedding website as a backup.
  • Weekend Events and Accommodations: If your wedding spans a weekend and includes multiple events, consider including a weekend events card. This card should provide guests with a full itinerary, hotel recommendations, room block information, and transportation details. If you have guests travelling from out of town, an accommodations card with hotel options and reservation deadlines is also helpful.

Remember, these guidelines are meant to help you navigate the process of inviting families with children to your wedding. You can adapt and customize your invitations to fit your specific needs and preferences. Happy planning!

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Inviting married couples

When it comes to inviting married couples to your wedding, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to address the wedding invitation to both members of the couple by name. If the couple has the same last name, you can use the following format: "Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Rivera" or "Mr. and Mrs. John Rivera" on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can simply write "Mr. and Mrs. Rivera".

If the couple has different last names, you can address the invitation as "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell" on the outer envelope and "Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell" or "Celine and Jacqueline" on the inner envelope. It is also acceptable to forgo titles and list their names separately, especially if they have different last names. In this case, you would list the person you are closest with first, followed by their name, and then the other person's name. For example: "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell" on the outer envelope and "Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell" on the inner envelope.

Another option for inviting a married couple is to use an "and Guest" format. This is usually done when you are inviting a single person and want to give them the option to bring a date. However, if you are certain that the married couple will not bring any additional guests, you can simply include their names on both the outer and inner envelopes.

It is important to remember that the outer envelope should be formal and include the full names and personal titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Mx.) of the guests. The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format. Additionally, if you are inviting children along with the married couple, you should list each child's name on the inner envelope to indicate that they are also invited.

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

Remember to double-check the preferred personal titles and spellings of your guests' names before addressing the invitations.

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Inviting unmarried couples

When it comes to inviting unmarried couples to your wedding, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to consider the formality of your wedding. If you are having a formal wedding, the invitation wording should be more traditional and include full names, while for a casual wedding, you can use first names only.

Another thing to consider is whether you want to allow plus-ones for unmarried couples. If you are happy for unmarried guests to bring a date, you can include "and guest" on the invitation envelope or, if you have them, on the inner envelope as well. This will make it clear that they are invited to bring someone.

If you do not want to allow plus-ones for unmarried couples, simply address the invitation to the individual guest by name. This will indicate that they are the only one invited.

Formal Wedding Invitation Wording

For a formal wedding, you would usually include the full names of the guests and use more traditional language. Here is an example:

> Mr. John Smith

> and Guest

> request the pleasure of your company

> at the marriage of

> Jack Alexander Smith

> and

> Mason Jacob Kim

> Saturday, the seventeenth of August, two thousand twenty-four

> at half after four in the afternoon

> [venue name and address]

> Reception to follow

Casual Wedding Invitation Wording

For a casual wedding, you can be more relaxed with the wording and use first names only. Here is an example:

> John and Guest

> invite you to share in our joy

> at the wedding of

> Jack and Mason

> Saturday, August 17, 2024

> at 4:30 p.m.

> [venue name and address]

> Reception to follow

Remember, it is important to be clear and concise with your wedding invitation wording to avoid any confusion for your guests.

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Inviting guests with distinguished titles

When inviting guests with distinguished titles, it is considered proper etiquette to address them by their title on the wedding invitation envelope. This includes guests who are doctors, military personnel, lawyers, or judges.

Doctors

If your guest is a doctor, spell out their title on the outer envelope and abbreviate it on the inner envelope.

Outer envelope:

  • Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood
  • If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially: Dr. Anne and Mr. Peter Underwood
  • If both parties are doctors: Doctors Anne and Peter Underwood

Inner envelope:

  • Dr. Barker and Mr. Underwood
  • The Doctors Underwood

Military Personnel

If your guest is in the military, include their military title and branch on both the outer and inner envelopes.

Outer envelope:

  • Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly
  • If they both have military titles: Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy

Inner envelope:

  • Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly
  • The Captains Kelly

Lawyers

If your guest is a lawyer, use "Esq." after their name on both envelopes.

Outer envelope:

  • Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown
  • If both parties are attorneys: Michelle Brown, Esq. and John Brown, Esq.

Inner envelope:

Mr. and Mrs. Brown

Judges

If your guest is a judge, use "The Honorable" as their title on both envelopes.

Outer envelope:

The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez

Inner envelope:

Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez

Other Distinguished Titles

The same rules that apply to doctors can also be applied to other distinguished titles. Whichever guest "outranks" the other should be listed first, regardless of gender.

Frequently asked questions

No, you don't have to give every guest a plus-one. If they're not married or in a serious relationship, it's perfectly acceptable to extend a solo invite.

On the outer envelope, use their preferred title and last name, e.g. "Ms. Ali Johnson". On the inner envelope, write their first name and "and Guest", e.g. "Ali and Guest".

If you're inviting a family with children under 18, list only the parent(s) or guardian(s) on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, list each child by name. If you don't include the children's names, you're implying that they're not invited.

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