Responding To A Wedding Invitation: Email Etiquette Guide

When responding to a wedding invitation via email, it's important to consider the formality of the event and your relationship with the couple. If the invitation is formal, a traditional response in the third person is appropriate, mirroring the tone of the invitation. For instance, Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June. Conversely, for an informal invitation from close friends or family, a more casual and personalised response is suitable, such as Dear [Couple's Names], [Partner's Name] and I are so happy for you and can't wait to celebrate with you on [Date]. Best wishes, [Your Names]. Regardless of the response style, promptness is key to help the couple with their planning.

Respond promptly

Responding promptly to a wedding invitation is a courteous gesture that helps the happy couple with their planning. They will need to inform the caterer of the final headcount and may want to invite someone else in your place if you can't make it.

Check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation, then respond as soon as you can. If you are accepting the invitation, you can respond in a formal or informal manner, depending on your relationship with the couple and the character of the wedding and invitation.

A formal response is written in the third person and follows the wording of the invitation. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June

If the invitation is from the couple themselves, you can respond with a formal letter, such as:

> Dear Sally and George, Harry and I are so excited to attend your wedding on June 3rd, 2022. Kind regards, Harry and Claire O’Kiely.

If you are close to the couple, you may prefer to respond informally, with a message like:

> Hi guys! So excited for your special day! Of course, we'll be there! Can't wait to see Claire walk down the aisle to the man of her dreams. See you on Friday for a celebratory drink. Big hug, Samantha and Alyssa

If you are unable to attend, a simple and prompt response is best:

> Dear [Couple],

> I am so sorry that I can’t join you for your wedding. I have to be in Chicago on business, but you two will be first in my thoughts on your special day. Love to you both, [Your Name]

Check your schedule

Checking your schedule is the first step in responding to a wedding invitation. It is important to respond promptly to a wedding invitation, as a courtesy to the couple, so that they can inform the caterer of any changes and invite someone else if necessary.

If you have received an invitation, it is likely that the couple has already planned how many guests they can accommodate and how much food and drink they need to order. Therefore, it is considerate to check your schedule and respond as soon as possible.

If you have been invited with another guest or guests, it is also important to consult with them to see if they are able to attend. This is especially important if you are planning to bring a plus one, as it is courteous to inform the couple in advance.

When checking your schedule, consider any prior commitments or plans that may clash with the wedding. It is also worth noting that attending a wedding may require taking time off work or making travel arrangements, so be sure to factor these into your decision.

If you are unable to attend, it is still important to respond promptly and politely to the invitation. This will allow the couple to make alternative arrangements if necessary and show that you appreciate their invitation.

Confirm with other guests

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to first check your schedule and confirm with the other guest(s) included in your invitation whether you can attend or not. This is a courtesy to the happy couple, who will be grateful to receive your prompt response and will need to inform the caterer of final numbers.

If you are invited with another guest, you must decide if you want to bring them and let the host know. If you reply only for yourself, do not show up at the wedding with an unaccounted-for date or companion. If you are unable to attend, it is courteous to let the hosts know as soon as possible so that they can invite someone else in your place if they wish.

When confirming with other guests, it is a good idea to communicate with them about your response, especially if you are planning to accept. You could discuss with them what you plan to write in your response, and whether they will be joining you. If you are unable to attend, it is also a good idea to communicate this to the other guests, so that they are aware of the situation and can plan accordingly.

If you are the primary invitee and are planning to bring a plus one, it is important to confirm with them that they are still able and willing to attend before you respond. This will ensure that you provide accurate information to the hosts and avoid any last-minute changes or surprises.

In all cases, clear and prompt communication with both the hosts and the other guests will help ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Match the tone of the invitation

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to match the tone of the invitation itself. This will depend on your relationship to the couple, as well as the character of the wedding and the invitation. Here are some examples of how to match the tone of a formal or informal invitation when responding via email:

Formal Invitation

For a formal invitation, it is customary to respond in the third person, mirroring the wording of the invitation. Here is an example:

> Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,

> Ms. Mahoney and Mr. Jameson accept with pleasure your kind invitation to the wedding of your daughter, Johanna, to Mr. Hannes Yuval on Sunday, March 17th at 2:00 pm.

This formal and traditional response is appropriate when the bride's parents are hosting the wedding. It is best to send this type of response by email or mail, depending on the couple's preference.

If the invitation includes an RSVP card and envelope, be sure to fill it out promptly and include all necessary information, such as your full name, whether you are attending, and any dietary restrictions. You can also add a personal touch, such as a congratulatory note.

Informal/Contemporary Invitation

For an informal or contemporary invitation, you can take a more personal approach in your response. Write in the first person and keep the tone brief, sincere, and light-hearted. Here is an example:

> Hi Sally and George!

> Harry and I are so excited to celebrate with you on June 3rd. See you on the dance floor!

> Kind regards,

> Harry and Claire

This type of response is suitable when you have a close relationship with the couple and they have chosen an informal style for their wedding and invitation.

Split Acceptance/Regret

In cases where multiple people are invited but not all can attend, you can use a split acceptance/regret format. Here is an example:

> Dear Mr. and Mrs. Thomas,

> [Name] accepts with pleasure for Saturday, August 18th, 2023.

> [Name] regrets that they are unable to attend.

This format allows you to convey the attendance status of each invited person clearly and concisely.

Remember, the key is to match the level of formality in your response to the invitation and to respond promptly to help the couple with their planning.

Include key information

When responding to a wedding invitation via email, it's important to include key information to ensure your message is clear and helpful to the couple. Here are some essential details to cover:

Full Names

It is important to include the full names of both the guests and the hosts in your response. This is true for both formal and informal invitations. For a formal response, use titles and last names, such as "Mr." and "Mrs." For an informal response, you can use first names.

Acceptance or Regret

Clearly state whether you are accepting or declining the invitation. For a formal response, you can write "accept with pleasure" or "regret that they are unable to accept." An informal response can be more casual, such as "we are so excited to attend" or "unfortunately, we won't be able to make it."

Date and Time

Be sure to include the date and time of the wedding in your response. This is usually written out in full in a formal response, such as "on Saturday, the nineteenth of June." For an informal response, you can use a more abbreviated form, like "see you on Friday!"

Number of Guests

If your invitation includes a plus one, be sure to specify whether you are bringing a guest and, if so, provide their name. This is important information for the couple as they plan their seating arrangements and headcount for catering.

Meal Choices and Dietary Restrictions

If the invitation includes a request for meal choices, be sure to include your preference in your response. This is also a good opportunity to mention any dietary restrictions or allergies the couple should be aware of.

Personal Note

Whether your response is formal or informal, adding a personal touch is always appreciated. A simple congratulatory message or well wishes for the couple can go a long way. For example, "Congratulations! We are so happy for you both!"

Remember, the key information to include in your response is your full name, whether you accept or decline the invitation, the date and time of the wedding, the number of guests attending, meal choices or dietary restrictions, and a personal note. This will ensure your response is clear and helpful to the happy couple!

Frequently asked questions