Rsvp Etiquette: Responding To Wedding Invitations

Weddings are joyous occasions, and receiving an invitation is a wonderful gesture. However, it is essential to respond promptly and appropriately when replying to a wedding RSVP invitation. Here are some key considerations to keep in mind when crafting your response. Firstly, respond as soon as possible, ideally within a few days of receiving the invitation. This helps the couple plan their guest list, catering, and seating arrangements. Secondly, follow the couple's instructions explicitly. They may prefer a printed card, an online response, or an email. Respect their chosen method and provide all the requested information, such as your full name, attendance confirmation, meal preferences, and any additional notes. If you are unable to attend, it is polite to include a brief explanation and consider sending a gift from their registry. Remember, it is essential to respond even if you cannot attend, and always adhere to the specified deadline. By following these guidelines, you can ensure your response is both thoughtful and considerate.

How to fill out a wedding RSVP card

Receiving a wedding invitation in the mail is always exciting, but figuring out how to fill out the RSVP card can be a little confusing. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you navigate the process:

Step 1: Check Who's Invited

Before you start filling out the RSVP card, it's important to confirm who has been invited to the wedding. Check the inner and outer envelopes of the invitation to see the names of the invited guests. If you are addressed with "and guest" or "and family", then you are allowed to bring a plus-one or your children. If there is no such indication, assume that only the people listed on the envelope are invited.

Step 2: Write the Names of Attending Guests

The RSVP card will usually have a line starting with "M" or "Name" where you should write the names of the guests who will be attending. This is where you indicate your title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) and your full name, along with the name of your partner or spouse if they are also attending. If there is limited space, you can write something like "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". Remember to only include the names of those who are actually attending.

Step 3: Indicate the Number of Guests Attending

The RSVP card will typically have a section where you can indicate whether you accept or decline the invitation. Write the number of guests who will be attending, and if only one person was invited, you can simply place a checkmark or an X in the appropriate box. This information helps the couple plan for the right amount of food and seating.

Step 4: Specify Food Choices

If the couple has provided food options on the RSVP card, be sure to indicate your preferences. Mark your choices with your initials so that the couple and caterers know which guests prefer which dishes. This is also a good place to indicate any dietary restrictions or allergies you may have.

Step 5: Add a Personal Note

If there is space on the RSVP card, consider adding a short note expressing your excitement about the wedding or your regrets if you can't attend. It's a nice way to show the couple that you appreciate their invitation and are looking forward to celebrating with them.

Step 6: Send the RSVP Card Back Promptly

It's important to send the RSVP card back as soon as possible, even if you can't attend. Wedding planning involves a lot of logistics, and your timely response helps the couple finalize their guest list, confirm numbers with vendors, and create a seating plan. Try to respond before the deadline listed on the card, and if your plans change after you've responded, be sure to let the couple know as soon as possible.

How to RSVP online

RSVPing online for a wedding is becoming increasingly common, and for good reason. It's convenient, cost-effective, and environmentally friendly. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to RSVP online:

• Find the wedding website: The couple may have included a link to their wedding website on the invitation or in a separate enclosure card. If not, you can try searching for their names or wedding date on popular wedding websites such as The Knot or WithJoy.
• Locate the RSVP tab: Once you're on the couple's wedding website, look for a tab or button labelled "RSVP." Click on it to start the RSVP process.
• Search for your name: You will likely need to search for your full name in a search box to find your invitation. This ensures that only invited guests can RSVP.
• Add additional guests: If you have been invited with a plus one, children, or additional guests, you can add their names here. Be sure to check your invitation envelope to confirm the number of guests you are allowed to bring.
• Submit your RSVP response: On the next page, you will be able to accept or decline the invitation. Be sure to do this before the RSVP deadline, which is usually about two to four weeks before the wedding.
• Provide additional information: You may be given the option to provide additional information, such as meal preferences, song requests, travel plans, or dietary restrictions. This helps the couple plan the wedding and accommodate your needs.
• Leave a note for the couple (optional): You may have the option to include a personal note for the couple, such as well wishes or congratulations.
• Choose your notification preferences: You will likely have the option to receive an RSVP notification via email or text message. If you do not want these notifications, you can usually uncheck a box to opt out.
• Complete the RSVP: Once you have provided all the necessary information, submit your RSVP. The couple will receive a notification of your response, and their guest list will be updated.

Remember to respond to the RSVP in a timely manner and provide accurate information. This helps the couple plan their wedding and ensure they have enough food, seating, and other accommodations for their guests.

How to RSVP by email

When replying to an RSVP by email, it's important to keep your response short, formal, and to the point. Here are some tips on how to structure your email response:

Subject Line

Begin with a clear subject line, such as "[Last Name] Wedding RSVP: [#] Will/Will Not Be Attending." This provides a clear indication of the nature of your email and the number of people confirming their attendance.

Salutation

Use a salutation that matches the formality of the wedding invitation and your relationship with the couple. For a formal invitation, use titles and last names, such as "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Harris," or "Dear Sarah and Tom Duncan." For a more informal invitation from a close friend or family member, you can use their first names, such as "Dear Ann and John."

Acceptance

If you are accepting the invitation, express your gratitude and enthusiasm for the event. You can use phrases such as “Thank you for inviting me to [event]! I will be attending and look forward to celebrating with you." It's also a good idea to mention that you've marked the date on your calendar to emphasize your commitment to attending.

Declining

When declining an invitation, it's polite to express your regret and appreciation. You can say something like, "Thank you for your invitation to [event] on [date]. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend. I appreciate your invitation and hope to have the opportunity to celebrate with you on another occasion." Adding a personal touch, such as mentioning the couple by name or expressing your sadness at missing the event, can make your response more sincere.

Full Names and Titles

Be sure to include the full names and titles (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms.) of all invited guests, including yourself and any additional attendees, such as a spouse or date. This information is crucial for the couple's planning, especially if they are creating place cards or seating charts.

Dietary Restrictions

If the invitation includes a request for meal choices or entrée options, be sure to indicate your preference. This information helps the couple plan their catering accordingly. Additionally, if you have any dietary restrictions or allergies, it's essential to communicate them respectfully. You can say something like, "I wanted to mention that I have dietary restrictions and would be grateful for a vegetarian option."

Timeliness

Responding promptly to an RSVP request is crucial. It's best to reply as soon as possible after receiving the invitation. This allows the couple to plan their guest list, catering, and seating arrangements effectively. If you are unable to attend after accepting the invitation, inform the couple as soon as possible to facilitate their planning.

Additional Notes

You can also use the email to convey any additional information or well wishes. For example, you might want to add a personal note of excitement or share a meaningful memory with the couple. This adds a thoughtful touch to your response.

How to decline a wedding invitation

There are many reasons why you might need to decline a wedding invitation. It could be due to financial constraints, scheduling conflicts, or you simply may not want to attend. Whatever the reason, it's important to handle the situation with grace and tact. Here are some guidelines on how to decline a wedding invitation politely:

Give it Thought

Take a few days to think about your response. Declining an invitation can be tricky, and you'll feel better about it if you know you've explored your options and given it adequate consideration. The couple will appreciate your thoughtful approach as well.

Assess Your Relationship

Consider your relationship with the couple. If you are very close to them, it might be best to break the news personally over a phone call or a meal. This shows that you care about them and value their special day. On the other hand, if you don't know them well, a simple RSVP decline should suffice.

Respond Promptly

Don't delay your response. As soon as you know you can't attend, let the couple know. They are waiting for your response to finalise arrangements with caterers and other vendors. By responding promptly, you give them the opportunity to invite someone else in your place.

Be Honest and Firm

When declining the invitation, be honest about your reasons. It's okay to keep it vague, especially if you're not close with the couple. A simple "I have prior commitments" or "I'm unable to attend due to work obligations" is sufficient. Be firm in your response to avoid any awkwardness or the couple trying to persuade you to change your mind.

Express Gratitude and Well Wishes

No matter the reason for your decline, always express gratitude for being invited. Thank the couple for including you in their special day. Wish them well and send your congratulations. You can also follow up with a call, email, or text to show your genuine disappointment about not being able to attend.

Optional Gestures

If you wish to show your support in other ways, you can arrange for a small gift or gesture to be sent to the couple on their wedding day. This could be a bottle of champagne, a video message, or a few words of support to be read during the speeches. You can also suggest an alternative date to celebrate with them after the wedding.

Sample Phrases

• "Thank you for thinking of me. Regrettably, I won't be able to attend due to other commitments, but please accept my warmest congratulations."
• "I would love to attend, but I have prior commitments on that date."
• "Thank you so much for the invitation. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it, but I wish you all the best."
• "I'm so sorry I can't be there on your special day, but I'm sending my best wishes to you both."

Remember, it's not rude to decline a wedding invitation as long as you do so respectfully and thoughtfully. Be mindful of the couple's feelings, express your regrets, and maintain a positive tone.

What to do if you can't attend after RSVPing yes

It is inevitable that life happens, and there will be instances where you are unable to attend a wedding after you have said "yes" on the RSVP. Here is a step-by-step guide on what to do if you can't attend a wedding after RSVPing yes:

Step 1: Have a Good Reason for Your Cancellation

Only back out if the circumstances are truly serious, such as a severe illness, a family emergency, or unforeseen budgetary constraints. Time and money have been dedicated to preparing for your presence at the wedding, so don't disregard your commitment lightly.

Step 2: Inform the Couple as Soon as Possible

Let the couple know about your change of plans as soon as possible. An accurate headcount is crucial for the couple to provide to vendors such as caterers, rental companies, and bartenders. Couples typically need to give a final guest count to the caterer about a week before the wedding, so if you back out at the last minute, they may still have to pay for your plate.

Step 3: Choose the Right Method of Communication

It is generally best to call the couple to inform them of your change of plans. However, if something comes up the day before or the day of the wedding, the couple will likely be preoccupied and may not be checking their phones or emails. In such cases, it is advisable to contact someone close to the bride or groom, like the maid of honor or best man, to inform them that you cannot attend.

Step 4: Apologize and Provide a Brief Explanation

Even if the situation is beyond your control, it is good etiquette to apologize to the couple for missing their big day. Express your regrets and provide a brief explanation without going into too much detail. For example, you can say, "I am so sorry to rescind my RSVP. I have a work obligation that I cannot get out of, which was not on my calendar when I responded with a 'yes.'"

Step 5: Make It Up to the Couple

Although you may have a valid reason for missing the wedding, you may still feel guilty about the circumstances. Consider sending a thoughtful gift or offering to take the couple out for dinner after the wedding to celebrate. Following up with a heartfelt note or phone call is a thoughtful way to express your apologies and well wishes.

Frequently asked questions