Best Man Speech: Strategies For Success And Confidence

Being asked to be someone's best man is a tremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the biggest tasks you'll have is giving a memorable best man's speech. It's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. But what if you don't want to give a speech?

Keep it short and sweet

Keeping your best man speech short and sweet is a great way to ensure that it is engaging and memorable. Here are some tips to help you achieve that:

Keep it Concise:

Aim for a speech that is around 5-7 minutes long. This is the perfect length to share meaningful stories and land an emotional finish without losing the attention of your audience. Focus on a few impactful stories and messages rather than rambling or trying to cover too much. Remember, it's not the quantity of your words but their quality that matters!

Structure your Speech:

A simple structure will help you stay organised and ensure your speech flows smoothly. Start with a brief introduction, then share some light-hearted and appropriate anecdotes about the groom, followed by a story of how the couple met. Include some advice and good wishes for the couple, and conclude with a heartfelt toast to their future.

Inject Humour:

As the best man, you have a green light to make the guests laugh, but be mindful of the couple's boundaries. Avoid inappropriate jokes, sensitive topics, or anything that might embarrass the groom or his partner. Keep the humour clean, good-natured, and, most importantly, authentic to your personality. If humour doesn't come naturally to you, don't force it; be yourself, and your speech will be more sincere.

Practice, Practice, Practice:

Rehearse your speech multiple times to familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Practise in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to refine your delivery and build your confidence. Remember that the more you practise, the more comfortable and confident you will become.

Connect with the Audience:

Maintain eye contact, speak clearly, and use hand gestures to engage your audience. Even the best speech will lose its impact if you're reading from a script or mumbling. Remember to speak slowly and pause for laughter to let the funny moments land.

Stay Calm:

It's normal to feel nervous before giving a speech, but there are ways to calm your nerves. Take deep breaths, visualise yourself as a confident speaker, and remember that a little nervousness is natural and okay. If you're worried about forgetting important points, it's perfectly fine to have some notes or cue cards with you.

Make it funny

Making your best man speech funny is no easy feat, but with the right tools, you can have your guests roaring with laughter. Here are some tips to help you write a humorous best man speech that will leave a lasting impression:

Gather Your Material

First things first, you need to gather some good anecdotes and insights. Email the groom's friends and family to get some stories about the groom that you may not know. Ask the groom's parents for stories from his childhood or teenage years—they are sure to be a goldmine of embarrassing moments! Most importantly, get the bride on your side. Find out what the groom is like at home and surprise him with your insights into his household personality!

Create a Comedy Character

Imagine the groom is a character in a sitcom. What type of person would he be? Is he the health freak who turns into a kebab-eating monster after a pint? Or the workaholic engineer who still calls his dad to help him assemble Ikea furniture? Use this characterisation as a basis for your speech and build on it with anecdotes. Exaggerate and use creative license, but make sure to keep it truthful.

Find a Theme

A theme will help you connect all your material and elevate your speech. It could be a re-telling of your bromance, cut short by the bride's arrival, or a personal guide to how the groom functions.

Get a Laugh in Early

Try to get a laugh within the opening lines of your speech. This will relax you and, in turn, relax the audience. Your speech should be concise—aim for no more than 1300 words. Keep your jokes short and sharp, and challenge yourself to cut your first draft in half to make it stronger.

Use Quotations

It is legitimate to include some witty quotes about marriage and relationships in your speech. Aim for a maximum of two, and make sure to credit the author unless they are well-known. For example, you could use this quote by Socrates: "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher."

Know Your Audience

Many weddings now have smaller guest lists, which makes your role even more important in keeping people amused. With an intimate audience, you can bend the 'no in-jokes' rule a little. Feel free to assume that guests who made the final cut will be familiar with the groom's quirks and will appreciate yours too. Include some of them in your anecdotes.

Make it Relatable

A great speech, like great stand-up, is funny because it's relatable. Take an honest look at the groom's traits and reflect on the funniest parts of the human condition. Know your audience and tailor your speech accordingly.

Delivery is Key

So much humour relies on delivery. Try to memorise your speech so you are familiar with it, but it's also fine to use cue cards on the day. Leave spacing where you think there will be laughter so that you don't talk over the audience's laughter. Start by smiling—it's simple but effective and scientifically proven to be infectious. Talk slower than you would naturally, as this will make you seem more self-assured.

Have Fun!

This is easier said than done, but if you look like you're enjoying your speech, your audience will too. React to any ad-hoc heckles in a good-natured spirit—after all, you're all there to celebrate the happy couple!

Be sincere

Being sincere is a great way to deliver a best man's speech that will be remembered for a long time. Here are some tips to help you achieve that:

Be Yourself

If you're usually not a joker, don't try to crack jokes. Be true to yourself and your personality. People will sense if you're being inauthentic and won't buy it.

Share Stories

Share stories about the groom that showcase his character, values, and friendship. These could be funny, heartwarming, or even embarrassing experiences, but make sure they are appropriate and won't embarrass the groom or his family.

Share What the Groom Means to You

Express what the groom means to you and why you value your relationship with him. Talk about how he's always had your back, gives great advice, or any other positive qualities he possesses.

Be Confident

Rehearse your speech multiple times to become familiar with the content, timing, and flow. Practicing in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help refine your delivery and boost your confidence. Remember, the more you practice, the more confident you'll become.

Connect with the Audience

Make eye contact, speak clearly, and use hand gestures. Even the best speech will lose its impact if you're looking at the ground and mumbling.

Keep it Short

A best man's speech should ideally be no more than 5-7 minutes or about 750-1000 words. This will help maintain the audience's attention and leave them wanting more.

Share stories

Sharing stories is a great way to keep your best man speech engaging and entertaining. Here are some tips and ideas to help you with this aspect of your speech:

Choose a Variety of Stories

Select stories that showcase the groom's personality, character, and special qualities. Opt for humorous, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that reveal who the groom is and your relationship with him. Include playful roasting, but always maintain a friendly and respectful tone. If possible, mix things up by adding some funny stories from the groom's family and childhood friends.

Structure Your Stories Well

Follow a clear structure when sharing your stories. Begin with an introduction; share how you met the groom, which will help establish your connection with the audience. Then, transition into your stories, weaving in anecdotes and experiences that highlight the groom's character and your friendship. If you have a prop, stunt, or slideshow that enhances your story, this is the perfect time to use it.

Keep it Appropriate

While sharing stories, it's important to maintain appropriateness. Avoid stories that are too risqué or embarrassing. Steer clear of inside jokes, ex-partners, or anything that might be considered offensive. Keep the stories light-hearted, positive, and focused on celebrating the groom and the couple.

Include a Theme

Consider choosing an overall theme for your speech. This could be sports, college, vacations, or a mutual interest that ties you and the groom together. This theme can help unify your stories and give your speech a clear direction.

Ask for Help

If you're unsure what stories to share, don't hesitate to ask for help. Reach out to mutual friends, family members, or even the groom himself for ideas. They might have some great stories or anecdotes that you can include in your speech.

Practice and Refine

Once you've gathered your stories, take the time to practice and refine your delivery. Rehearse your speech multiple times to familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Practising in front of a mirror or with trusted friends can help you polish your delivery and ensure your stories are well-received.

Remember, the key to sharing stories effectively is to choose anecdotes that celebrate the groom and your friendship. Keep your stories light-hearted, engaging, and respectful, and you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable best man speech.

Practice makes perfect

Practice is key to delivering a great best man's speech. Practise as much as you can, and in front of a mirror or a trusted friend, so that you can refine your delivery and become more confident. The more you practise, the more confident you'll become.

Practising will also help you to calm your nerves. Even if you do feel nervous before giving the speech, you will feel better if you have practised. Take deep breaths and slow down. Focus on your breathing, and visualise yourself as a great speaker.

If you're nervous about speaking in front of people, it's a good idea to write down your speech, word for word. However, don't have more than one piece of paper or one card, as flipping through pages will lose the audience's interest. Instead, bullet point your speech.

Frequently asked questions