Creating A Wedding Guest List: The Ultimate Guide

Creating a wedding guest list can be a daunting task. It requires a lot of consideration, patience, and decision-making. The number of guests you invite will directly impact the cost of your wedding, from the invitations to the catering and wedding favours. Therefore, it is usually the best place to start when planning your big day. This guide will help you create a wedding guest list with as little stress as possible.

Budgeting and venue capacity

Budgeting

Start by setting a realistic budget for your wedding. This will help you determine how many people you can afford to invite. The cost per guest can vary depending on the venue, catering, drinks, and other factors, so it's important to do your research and calculate the expected cost per head. Remember to include yourself and vendors in the final count for catering and other services.

If you're paying for the wedding yourself, you may want to increase your stake in the budget. However, if others are contributing, make sure to have a discussion early on about their expectations and how much say they will have in the guest list creation.

Venue Capacity

The venue you choose will also impact the number of people you can invite. Larger venues can accommodate more guests, while smaller, more intimate venues may have restricted capacity. Consider the type of venue you want and the average capacity for that type of venue in your desired location. If you have your heart set on a particular venue, check their capacity restrictions before finalising your guest list.

Tips for Managing Budget and Venue Capacity

• Start with a "must-have" guest list: Begin by creating a list of your closest loved ones and immediate family members who you couldn't imagine celebrating without. This will be your foundation, and you can build your guest list from there.
• Consider package deals: Account for "package deals," such as the officiant's spouse or the parents of children in your wedding party. These individuals should be included in your guest count.
• Be consistent with plus-ones: Decide early on whether to offer plus-ones and set clear and consistent rules for inviting significant others.
• Manage your B-list: If you're creating a B-list, make sure to send invitations at least four months in advance to give yourself time to add additional guests.
• Use a guest list manager: Utilise tools like The Knot Guest List Manager or a simple Excel spreadsheet to keep track of your guest list, RSVPs, dietary restrictions, and other important information.
• Be mindful of venue restrictions: Some venues may have headcount minimums or per-head minimums, so be sure to consider these when finalising your guest list and venue selection.

Prioritise close family and friends

When it comes to wedding invites, it's important to remember that your wedding is a celebration for you, your partner, and your immediate family. It is not a family reunion, so don't feel pressured to invite every distant relative. Instead, focus on your closest loved ones and immediate family members.

Start by making a list of your VIPs, the people who absolutely must be there. This might include your parents, siblings, close friends, and grandparents. Think about who you really want to be there. If you have a large guest list, remember that you may not get the chance to interact with everyone, so consider whether you want to spend time making small talk with lots of people or celebrating with a tight-knit group.

When deciding on your VIP list, consider the people you frequently text or hang out with, those who make you happy, and those you've invited to other important events, like birthday parties. You can also ask yourself if you would take this person out for a $300-plus meal—a rough estimate of the cost per person for an average wedding.

Once you have your VIP list, you can start thinking about other guests. It's important to remember that you don't have to invite anyone out of obligation. Your guest list should include people you and your family want to spend time with and who will bring joy to your day. If you have a large family, you might not be able to invite everyone, and that's okay.

If you're worried about family dynamics and want to keep the peace, consider having a conversation with your parents or in-laws about their expectations. You might decide to give each family a certain number of invites or ask them for a list of people they would like to attend, which you can then review and decide if they fit within your parameters.

Remember, this is your special day, and you should feel empowered to make tough decisions and limit your guest count so you can spend time with those closest to you.

Make A and B lists

Making an A and B list is a great way to ensure as many of your loved ones can attend your wedding as possible. Here are some tips for making your A and B lists:

Make Your Lists Early

It's important to make your lists at the very start of the planning process. Create a list of everyone you'd like to invite, then divide it into two. Your A-list should include your immediate family and close friends (those you can't imagine not being there). Your B-list will be those you'd love to invite but may not be able to accommodate due to budget or venue size.

Organise Your B-List

Your B-list should be organised in order of priority. Those who were close to making the A-list should be at the top, and those who would be nice to include but are less important towards the bottom. This way, if someone on your A-list declines, you can invite the next person on your B-list.

Send Invites Early

Send your A-list invites 10-12 weeks before the wedding, and your B-list invites eight weeks before. This gives your B-list guests enough time to receive the invite, think about travel arrangements, and respond.

Order Two Sets of RSVP Cards

Print two sets of RSVP cards with different reply-by dates. The deadline for your A-list should be no later than eight weeks before the wedding, and the deadline for your B-list should be three to four weeks before. This gives you a sufficient window to provide a final headcount to your caterer.

Be Mindful of Groups

It's a good idea to place 'groups' of people, such as friends or family, on the same list. This is to avoid hurt feelings if one person in a group realises they were on the B-list while everyone else was on the A-list.

Be Careful with Timing

It's important to be mindful of the timing of your B-list invites. If you leave it too late, it will be obvious to those guests that they were not on your original list.

Decide on plus-ones and children

Deciding on plus-ones and children can be one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning. Here are some tips to help you navigate this tricky area:

Plus-ones

First, decide whether you want to offer plus-ones at all. If your wedding is small, you might not be able to accommodate extra guests. However, be aware that some guests may choose not to attend if they can't bring their partner, and married guests may be offended if their spouse isn't invited.

If you do decide to offer plus-ones, it's a nice gesture to give them to guests who won't know anyone else at the wedding, as well as to members of the wedding party. You may also want to consider guests who are married, engaged, or in a serious, long-term relationship.

If you're offering plus-ones to some guests but not others, try to be consistent to avoid causing offence. For example, you could set a rule that only guests in relationships of six months or more get a plus-one.

When addressing invitations, ideally, find out the name of your guest's partner and include it on the envelope. If you don't know their name, write something like "Miss J. Smith and guest". Make sure you find out their name before ordering place cards!

Children

If you're happy to have children at your wedding, it's polite to invite the children of guests who live with their parents. You don't have to invite grown-up children who have left home.

If you'd prefer not to have children at your wedding, simply address the invitation to the parents directly, e.g. "Mr & Mrs John Smith".

Practical considerations

Remember that every extra guest impacts your budget, as each person will need a plate of food, a seat, etc. You may also need to consider whether your venue has enough space for lots of extra guests.

At the end of the day, it's your wedding, and you can decide whether or not to offer plus-ones and invite children. Don't feel pressured to include people you don't want at your celebration!

Use spreadsheets or online tools

Using a spreadsheet or online tool is a great way to stay organised when creating your wedding guest list. It's a useful method for keeping all your guest list details in one place, from dietary requirements to gifts and RSVPs.

There are several free wedding guest list templates available online, which can be used with spreadsheet programs or word processors. These templates can be as simple or as detailed as you like. Basic information such as names and addresses can be included, as well as more specific details like dietary restrictions, number of children, and gifts.

For example, The Knot offers a template that allows you to filter by groups, keep track of RSVPs, create address labels, and even use it to write your thank-you notes. Botanical Paperworks also has a free Excel template with fields for names, addresses, and phone numbers, which can also be used to track invitations sent, replies received, and the number of guests attending.

If you're using a spreadsheet, it's a good idea to have separate columns for each part of the address: street address, city, state, and zip code. This is useful if you're having addresses printed, as many professional print shops will require this format. It's also a nice, clean way to view all the addresses.

You can also use your spreadsheet to keep track of your budget. By entering the cost per person for your dinner and reception, the template will automatically give you a total estimated cost based on the number of guests.

Additionally, you can use your spreadsheet to create a seating plan. Separate your guests into groups, such as family or friends, and assign them to tables. This will help you visualise how many tables you need and ensure that your guests are seated with people they know.

Finally, don't forget to back up your spreadsheet, especially if you're making any changes. It's also a good idea to share it with someone else, such as your wedding planner or a trusted friend, so they can help you keep track of the guest list and make any necessary updates.

Frequently asked questions