When To Expect Rsvps: Wedding Invitation Etiquette

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important aspects is finalising the guest list and sending out invitations. But what about the RSVP deadline? How much time should be given to guests to respond, and when should the deadline be? This guide will answer all your questions about where to put the RSVP deadline on your wedding invitations.

RSVP deadline is four weeks before the wedding

It is important to set an RSVP deadline for your wedding and ensure that it is clearly included on your invitations and wedding website. The deadline should be at least four weeks before the wedding day, and no later than two weeks before. This gives you enough time to organise your final guest list and figure out who has not responded.

If you are ordering place cards with printed names, you will need to know the names of plus-ones, so it is a good idea to set your RSVP deadline at four weeks. This gives you plenty of time to call anyone who hasn't responded and order the place cards. It also gives you a window to gather late responses and give your venue an accurate headcount.

If you leave too much time between sending the invitations and the RSVP date, guests may put off responding and forget. It is best to send out invitations between six and ten weeks before the wedding, giving guests a window of about one month to RSVP. This way, it's not so far in advance that they think they can put it off, but it's also not so close that they've already made other plans.

You can also include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with the invitation, and give guests the option to digitally submit their RSVP via your wedding website.

Two weeks before the wedding, share final guest count with vendors

The RSVP deadline for a wedding should be set at least four weeks before the wedding, and no later than two weeks before. This gives you, the host, enough time to organise your final guest list and chase up any late responses. It's also a good idea to give yourself a two-week window to gather late responses and give your venue an accurate headcount.

So, two weeks before the wedding, it's time to connect with your wedding vendors and share the final guest count. This is when you'll finalise the number of table settings, entrees, wedding favours, escort cards, and any other items that are being given to guests.

Here's a detailed breakdown of what you need to do and who you need to inform:

Finalise Details with Caterer

Firstly, get in touch with your catering coordinator and share the final headcount. They will need to know the exact number of guests to prepare meals, beverages, and other catering services. The caterer's contract may specify a date for the final guest count, which can range from two weeks to 72 hours before the wedding. It's important to meet this deadline to ensure the caterer has sufficient time to make the necessary arrangements.

Update the Wedding Venue

Inform your wedding venue about the final guest count to ensure they can set up the appropriate number of tables and chairs. Send them a copy of your final seating diagram so they can arrange the tables accordingly. If the venue is providing catering services, this information will be just as crucial to them as it is to an external caterer.

Communicate with Your Wedding Planner

If you have a wedding planner, they may be the ones communicating the final count to the vendors. Ensure they have the updated headcount and room setup specifications for the big day.

Inform the Florist

Provide your florist with the final reception table count so they can bring enough centrepieces for each table. If there are specific floral arrangements for individual guests, ensure these are also included in the count.

Renting Tables, Chairs, or Linens

If you're renting tables, chairs, or linens through a décor rental company, keep them updated on your guest count. This will ensure you have enough of these items available on your special day.

Cake Baker and Transportation

If there are any significant increases or decreases in the expected RSVPs, be sure to inform your cake baker and transportation company. They may need to adjust their contracted amounts accordingly.

Other Vendors

Remember to inform any other vendors who need to know the final guest count, such as the stationer for printing items like programs or menus.

By finalising the details with these vendors, you'll be able to secure the necessary arrangements and ensure a seamless experience for you and your guests on your wedding day.

Send invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding

Sending out your wedding invitations around six to eight weeks before the wedding is considered the proper timeline and is in line with wedding invitation etiquette. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if necessary. It also means you can request RSVPs sooner, allowing you to get a final headcount, invite guests on your B list, and complete your seating chart before the last-minute crunch.

If you send your invitations too early, there is a risk of them getting lost or your guests forgetting about the date. On the other hand, sending them too late may not give your guests enough time to plan and RSVP, especially if they have to request time off work or make travel plans.

The RSVP deadline should be included on the invitation and should fall around four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and follow up with any stragglers. It's also important for providing final numbers to your caterer and venue, who typically request this information one to two weeks before the wedding.

• Sending save-the-dates is advisable, especially for destination weddings or weddings with many out-of-town guests. These are typically sent out four to six months before the wedding or even earlier for destination weddings.
• If you're having a destination wedding, send the invitations a little earlier, around 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding, to give guests more time to make accommodations.
• For digital invitations, stick to the six-to-eight-week timeline to give potential attendees ample time to RSVP.
• If you're skipping save-the-dates and have a standard engagement length, send invitations around six months in advance.
• If you have a shorter engagement, aim for two to three months before the wedding.
• If you're inviting international guests, give them a heads-up via call or email, and consider sending their invitations earlier (at least 12 weeks in advance) to account for shipping and delivery times.
• If you're inviting out-of-town or out-of-state guests, it's customary to send invitations around eight weeks before the wedding.

Remember, the key is to give your guests enough notice without sending the invitations too early, ensuring that your wedding date stays top of mind as the day draws closer.

Send save-the-dates a year in advance for destination weddings

Planning a destination wedding is exciting, but it requires more planning than a local wedding. It's important to give your guests ample time to prepare, especially if they need to travel from out of town. Sending save-the-dates a year in advance is a thoughtful way to ensure your guests can join you on your special day. Here are some tips to consider:

Timing is Everything:

The key to successful save-the-dates for a destination wedding is timing. While regular save-the-dates are typically sent around four to six months in advance, for a destination wedding, you should aim for at least six months to a year before the big day. This gives your guests plenty of time to compare flight options, book accommodations, and plan any necessary travel arrangements. If you're worried about a time crunch, email save-the-dates are a great option, and they're more environmentally friendly!

Include an Information Packet:

Instead of a simple postcard, consider sending a packet with additional information. This turns your save-the-date into a pre-invitation, giving your guests a glimpse of what to expect. Include a timeline of events, from welcome parties to group activities. Be sure to secure a room block at your hotel, so guests can book their stay accordingly. The more details you can provide, the easier it will be for your guests to plan their trip.

Ask Guests for Their Preferences:

If you're still finalising the itinerary, why not ask your guests for their input? Include a response card or create a poll on your wedding website to gather their preferences. This way, you can plan activities that everyone will enjoy. Asking for an early RSVP with your save-the-date is also a good idea, especially if you're planning an intimate or remote celebration.

Create a Wedding Website:

In today's digital age, a wedding website is a must. It's the perfect platform to provide all the travel specifics and a detailed schedule of the wedding events. If you're short on space in your save-the-date cards, direct your guests to your website for more information. This ensures they have access to everything they need to know in one convenient location.

Follow Up with Formal Invitations:

Don't forget to send your formal wedding invitations closer to the date. For destination weddings, it's recommended to send invitations at least 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests a reminder and a chance to confirm their attendance. It's also a good opportunity to include any final details or updates.

Remember, sending save-the-dates a year in advance for a destination wedding is a thoughtful gesture that shows your guests you value their presence and want to give them ample time to plan their trip. Happy planning!

Follow up with guests who haven't RSVP'd

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most frustrating aspects is waiting for guests to RSVP. It is inevitable that some guests will not respond by the deadline, and this can cause a major interruption to your planning process. Here is some advice on how to follow up with guests who haven't RSVP'd by the deadline:

Timing is Everything

Give your guests about one week after the RSVP deadline has passed before you start reaching out. This allows for any last-minute responses to arrive and gives you time to organise your list of guests who are yet to respond. It also means you are not calling on the deadline, which could seem overly eager.

Make the Call

It is best to call your guests rather than email. An email may end up in a spam folder, and a phone call allows your guests to hear the warmth in your voice. A simple, polite message such as, "Just calling to see if you’ll be able to attend our wedding," is all that is needed. You are not angry, simply checking in with them as you do hope they can make it.

Respond Appropriately

If a guest expresses surprise that you didn't receive their response, you have your answer. If your RSVP card included a question about dietary requirements, you can ask for this information now. If they are still unsure about attending, don't respond with annoyance. Instead, say something like, "Please do let me know by [deadline] since we have to submit our headcount to the caterer."

Set a Clear Deadline

Give your guests a set deadline to respond by, but avoid demanding a response within 24 or 48 hours. This can seem too demanding. Instead, give a specific date, such as "Please get back to me by Tuesday." This gives a clear deadline without creating unnecessary pressure.

Apologise, but Don't Overdo It

While it is polite to apologise for calling during the evening, for example, don't overdo it with the apologies. You do have a right to be calling, as you need their answer by a certain date. Your venue needs a headcount, and your guest needs to be courteous about that.

Check in Personally

It is best to make the call yourself. While it might seem like a good idea to ask a parent to call relatives, they might be uncomfortable doing so, and the conversation could veer off-topic. By making the call yourself, you can get the answer you need for your final headcount.

Enlist Help

If you are nervous about calling guests, or simply don't have the time, ask your maid of honour, best man, or another member of the wedding party to reach out on your behalf. This can relieve some of the stress and embarrassment for both parties.

Remember, it is important to get an accurate headcount for your wedding day so you can finalise details with your vendors. Good luck with your wedding planning!

Frequently asked questions