Wedding Invites: Mailing Etiquette And Tips

Mailing wedding invitations can be a complicated process. From postage to packaging, there are many things to consider when sending out invites. Wedding invitations can be expensive, so it's important to take the necessary steps to ensure they arrive safely and on time. In this article, we will cover everything from ordering extra invitations to weighing them correctly, so you can confidently send out your invites without a hitch.

Weighing the invitations and calculating postage

Weighing your wedding invitations is a crucial step in the mailing process, as it ensures you're applying the correct postage. This is especially important for wedding invitations, as they tend to be bulkier than your average letter.

First, assemble your invitations. Place all the contents—the invitation, response card, envelopes, and any other inserts—into an envelope. Do this for just one invitation, as this will be your test sample.

Next, weigh your sample invitation. You can do this at home if you have a scale. According to USPS postage rates in 2017, here are the weights and their corresponding prices:

• 0 - 1 ounces | $0.49
• 1 - 2 ounces | $0.70
• 2 - 3 ounces | $0.91
• 3 - 3.5 ounces | $1.12

If you don't have a scale at home, take your sample invitation to the post office and have it weighed by a postal clerk.

It's important to note that unusual envelope sizes and shapes, such as square envelopes, may require additional postage. This is because such envelopes cannot be run through automated sorting machinery and are therefore charged a "non-machinable surcharge".

Once you've determined the weight of your invitation and calculated the necessary postage, be sure to apply enough stamps to all your invitations before dropping them off at the post office. This will save you time and ensure your invitations have a consistent aesthetic.

Finally, consider requesting hand-cancelling for your invitations. This means that instead of being run through and stamped by a machine, your stamps will be cancelled by hand, preventing reuse. This service is particularly recommended for bulky invitations or those with embellishments on the outer envelope, such as ribbon, twine, or wax seals. There may be a small additional fee for hand-cancelling, and it will also take more time, so be prepared for a longer wait at the post office.

Addressing the envelopes

When addressing the envelopes for your wedding invitations, it's important to consider the formality of your event and your guests' preferences. Here are some detailed guidelines for addressing envelopes to different types of guests:

Married Couples:

If a married couple shares the same last name, the traditional way to address them is as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]". However, this format has been criticised as sexist and outdated, and some prefer to list both first names, e.g., "Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Smith". Alternatively, you can use both first names and the shared last name: "John and Mary Smith".

If a married couple has different last names, list each person's full name with "and" between them: "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Mary Jones".

Unmarried Couples Living Together:

For unmarried couples living together, it is customary to write their names on separate lines:

"Ms. Jane Smith

Mr. John Doe"

Single Individuals:

For single individuals, use their appropriate title ("Mr.", "Ms.", "Miss", or "Mx.") followed by their full name. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson".

Single Individuals with a Plus One:

If a single guest is bringing a plus one, it is best to include the plus one's name. You can write:

"Mr. Tyler Morris

[Name of Plus One]"

If you don't know the name of the plus one, you can simply write:

"Mr. Tyler Morris

And Guest"

Families:

When inviting an entire family, you have a few options. You can address the invitation to "The [Last Name] Family", implying that all family members are invited.

If you want to be more specific, list the names of the parents on the outer envelope and the names of their children underneath on separate lines:

"Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Daniel

Jeffrey

Miss Brittany

Mx. Kelly"

Note that children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitations.

Guests with Distinguished Titles:

For guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, judges, or military personnel, use their titles when addressing the envelopes. For example:

"Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood"

Or

"Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly"

Inner Envelopes:

While outer envelopes are formal and stamped, inner envelopes are more informal and only include the names of the invitees. Inner envelopes are optional and are used to clarify who is invited, such as plus ones or children.

Assembling the invitation suite

Step 1: Prepare the Main Invitation Card

The invitation card typically serves as the foundation of your suite, providing essential details such as the names of the couple, the wedding date, time, and venue. Place the invitation card at the bottom, with the printed side facing up.

Step 2: Add Vellum Liners (Optional)

Vellum liners are thin sheets of translucent paper that were traditionally used to prevent ink smudges. If you wish to include them, place the vellum on top of the invitation card.

Step 3: Stack the Reception Card

If you have a separate reception card, place it face-up on top of the invitation. This card should include information about the time and location of the reception, as well as any dress code or special instructions.

Step 4: Include Other Enclosure Cards

Enclosure cards provide additional details for your guests. These can include direction or map cards, accommodation cards, or any other relevant information. Place these cards face-up on top of the reception card, with the largest card at the bottom.

Step 5: Add the RSVP Card and Envelope

The response card and envelope are essential for gathering guest responses. Place the reply envelope face-down on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left. Insert the reply card under the envelope flap, ensuring the printed side is visible. Don't forget to pre-address and stamp the reply envelope for your guests' convenience.

Step 6: Finishing Touches

Now is the time to add any final embellishments, such as belly bands, ribbons, or wax seals. These elements add a personal touch and hold all the pieces of your invitation suite together.

Step 7: Recipient Addressing

Traditionally, inner envelopes were used to hold the invitation suite and specify the names of the invited guests. However, modern trends lean towards sustainability by using a single outer envelope. Address your envelopes with calligraphy or print names and addresses directly on them.

Step 8: Insert the Suite into the Envelope

When inserting the invitation suite into the envelope, ensure that the left edge goes in first for a single-card invitation, and the folded edge first for a folded invitation. The text on the invitation should be facing up, so guests can immediately read it when they open the envelope.

Step 9: Seal the Envelope

Use an envelope moistener, a damp sponge, or saliva to wet the adhesive edge of the envelope flap. Be careful not to use too much moisture to avoid soggy envelopes. Seal the envelopes and place a heavy book on top to ensure they stay securely closed.

Step 10: Return Address

Add return address labels to your envelopes, or use rubber stamps or skinny wraps for a unique touch.

Step 11: Final Checks and Mailing

Before mailing your invitations, take a fully assembled set to the post office to determine the correct postage required, especially if you have added embellishments that affect the weight. Hand-cancelling your invitations will ensure they are handled with care and reduce the risk of damage during mailing.

Remember, assembling your wedding invitations should be a fun and exciting part of your wedding planning journey. Enjoy the process and don't be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family, or friends!

Sealing the envelopes

• Moistening the Envelope: Instead of licking the adhesive liner, use a cotton swab or a paintbrush to moisten the envelope adhesive. This method is more hygienic and reduces the risk of paper cuts. It also ensures that the entire adhesive strip is covered, creating a strong seal.
• Bulky Invitations: If your wedding invitations are bulky, with multiple inserts or embellishments, you may need to take extra measures to secure the envelopes. After moistening and sealing the adhesive, place a heavy book or paperweight on top of the invitations to reinforce the closure.
• Alternative Adhesives: In case your envelope adhesive is not strong enough or isn't working properly, you can use additional adhesives such as a glue stick or double-sided tape. However, keep in mind that this might make it messier for your guests to open the invitations.
• Hand-Canceling: If your invitations are bulky or have embellishments like wax seals, consider requesting hand-canceling at the post office. This process involves manually postmarking the envelopes instead of using sorting machines, reducing the risk of tears and ink smudges. Some post offices may charge a small additional fee for this service, and it may take longer, so plan accordingly.
• Weighing the Invitations: Before sealing all your envelopes, take a fully assembled invitation to the post office to have it weighed. This will help you determine the exact amount of postage required, which may vary depending on the weight and size of your invitations.
• Proofreading: Before sealing and mailing your invitations, take the time to proofread all the addresses. Check for spelling, abbreviations, and social titles to ensure that your invitations are addressed correctly and will reach the intended recipients.

Hand-cancelling

• Before applying any stamps, create a mock-up of your invitation, complete with all inserts and embellishments. Take this to your local post office and have it weighed and checked by a postmaster or USPS employee. They will advise if your envelope is too bulky for machine processing and inform you of the correct postage required based on weight.
• Purchase the correct combination of stamps to reach the required postage. Remember to include any additional costs for hand-cancelling, which is typically around $0.21 to $0.24 extra per envelope.
• Assemble and address your invitations, and apply the correct postage. Ensure you have organised your invitations in a way that makes sense for your guest list. For example, you could organise them by family and state, alphabetically, or in the order of your guest list.
• Visit the post office during off-peak hours, preferably early weekday mornings, to avoid crowds and long waits. Ask the clerk to verify that you have the correct postage and request that they hand-cancel your invitations. Some post offices may allow you to hand-cancel the envelopes yourself, but this varies by location.
• Hand-cancelling can take a significant amount of time, especially if you have a large number of invitations. If you have a large quantity, consider bringing them in batches of 50 and returning the next day with the rest.
• After stamping each envelope, the clerk should set them aside to be processed separately from regular mail. You can request that they bundle your invitations with a rubber band to help ensure they are processed correctly at each step.
• Keep in mind that hand-cancelling may take at least a week longer for your invitations to arrive than standard machine processing. Plan accordingly and allow ample mailing time to account for potential delays.

Frequently asked questions