Addressing Wedding Invites: Divorced Parents Edition

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, divorced parents can be a tricky situation to navigate. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, there are some general guidelines and etiquette tips that can help you craft the perfect invitation. Ultimately, the most important thing is to do what feels right for you and your family dynamics.

Divorced parents, both remarried

If your parents are divorced and remarried, the best way to address your wedding invitations is to list your natural parents' names only and on separate lines. This is the safest bet to avoid salting old wounds or bringing public attention to the fact of divorce. Here are some examples:

• Mr. Thomas Jones
• Ms. Sarah Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

• Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
• Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

If one parent has been remarried for a significant amount of time and the stepparent has played an important role in your life, it is appropriate to include that person's name on the same line as their spouse. For example:

Divorced parents, one remarried:

• Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
• Mr. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

Remember to list the mother's name first and always use "Ms." or "Mrs." instead of "Miss" to eliminate any confusion about marital status. If you are close to both sets of parents and want to include everyone, you can also use “Together with their families” followed by the names of the couple getting married.

Divorced parents, one remarried

Wedding Invitation Etiquette for Divorced Parents, One Remarried

If your parents are divorced, and one of them has remarried, you may be unsure how to address them both on your wedding invitations. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you navigate this delicate situation:

Basic Guidelines:

• It is generally advised to tread lightly and avoid salting old wounds. Avoid bringing public attention to the fact that one parent is remarried while the other is not, especially if doing so may cause hurt feelings.
• List your natural parents' names only and on separate lines. Avoid using a conjoining word like "and" between their names, as this signifies marriage.
• If your parent's divorce is amicable, and you want to include both of them, you can list each parent on their own line, followed by their respective partners (if applicable).
• If a stepparent has played a significant role in your life, it is appropriate to include their name. List them on the same line as your parent, with their names conjoined by "and."
• Regardless of who is remarried, always list the mother's name first.
• If you are faced with multiple sets of remarried parents, you can list each couple on their own line or use the phrase "Together with their families" to keep the invitation concise.

Examples:

Divorced Parent Hosting with New Spouse:

"Michelle & Timothy Wright request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of her daughter Elizabeth Ann Monroe to Kevin Charles Black, son of Barbara and Stanley Black."

Divorced Parents Jointly Hosting:

"Mrs. Michelle Wright and Mr. John Monroe request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Elizabeth Ann Monroe to Kevin Charles Black, son of Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Black."

Divorced Mother Remarried:

"Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones and Mr. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter, Michael Alan Timmons."

Divorced Father Remarried:

"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mrs. Thomas Jones request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon, 777 East Grand Avenue, Prairie Fields, Iowa."

Divorced parents, neither remarried

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, every family is different, so it's essential to do what feels right. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you navigate this delicate situation:

• The basic rule of thumb is to tread lightly. You don't want to reopen old wounds or cause any unnecessary tension.
• List your parents' names separately on different lines, without using "and" to conjoin them. This format respects their individual identities while acknowledging their role as hosts.
• The mother's name typically goes first, unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name can take precedence.
• Specify the bride's last name if the mother and father have different surnames to prevent confusion.
• Here's an example:

> Ms. Sarah Smith

> Mr. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

If the mother has reverted to her maiden name, include that in the invitation for clarity:

> Ms. Sarah Jones

> Mr. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

Additional Considerations:

• While it's essential to honour your parents, remember that the focus of the invitation should ultimately be on you and your partner.
• If you prefer a more modern approach, you can choose to list your names first, followed by your parents' names:

> Michael Alan Timmons

> request the pleasure of your company at their wedding

If both sets of parents are contributing financially, you can include both your parents and your partner's parents, keeping divorced parents on separate lines:

> Ms. Sarah Smith

> Mr. John Smith

> along with Mr. & Mrs. Alan Timmons

> request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children

> Michael Alan Timmons

If you want to avoid any potential issues, you can use a more general approach:

> Together with their families

> Michael Alan Timmons

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your family dynamics and preferences. The most important thing is to communicate the vital details of the wedding while representing you, your love, and the big day to come.

Including a deceased parent

Etiquette for Including Deceased Parents

It is traditional to include parents' names on wedding invitations, indicating that they are hosting the event. When a parent has passed away, you can still include their name to honour their memory. The key point to remember is to ensure it doesn't appear as though the deceased parent is sending the invitation. Here is a general format you can follow:

""[Engaged Person's Name]

Child of [Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]

[Engaged Person's Name]

Child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]

Request the honour of your presence at their marriage."

Examples for Different Scenarios

Depending on your family situation, here are some examples of how to word your wedding invitations to include a deceased parent:

Father deceased, mother not remarried:

"Mrs. Sarah Smith requests the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter

Avery June, daughter of the late Mr. John Smith

Michael Alan Timmons"

Father deceased, mother remarried:

"Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter

Avery June Smith, daughter of the late Mr. John Smith

Michael Alan Timmons"

Mother deceased, father not remarried:

"Mr. John Smith requests the pleasure of your company at the wedding of his daughter

Avery June, daughter of the late Mrs. Sarah Smith

Michael Alan Timmons"

Mother deceased, father remarried:

"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of his daughter

Avery June, daughter of the late Mrs. Sarah Smith

Michael Alan Timmons"

One parent deceased, both parents remarried:

"Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones and Mr. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children

Avery June Smith, daughter of the late Mrs. Sarah Smith

Michael Alan Timmons"

Other Ways to Honour a Deceased Parent

• Memorial candle: Invite guests to light a candle in remembrance.
• Reserved seat: Keep a special seat for your deceased parent at the ceremony and reception.
• Wedding program: Include a loving memorial note about your parent in the program.
• Toast and memorial poems: Raise a toast or read a poem dedicated to your parent during the event.
• Flowers: Hold a bouquet or display flowers that remind you of your deceased parent.

Divorced parents, one with a new spouse

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, it's important to be mindful of etiquette to avoid offending anyone. Here are some guidelines and examples for addressing invitations when divorced parents are involved, with a focus on the scenario where one parent has a new spouse:

Basic Guidelines:

• It's generally best to tread lightly and avoid bringing attention to the divorce or remarriage.
• List the natural parents' names separately, even if one parent has remarried.
• The mother's name is typically listed first, unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name comes first.
• If a stepparent has been in your life for a significant time and played an important role, you may include them on the same line as your parent.
• Avoid using "and" between names, as it signifies marriage.

Examples for Divorced Parents, One with a New Spouse:

• If the mother is remarried: "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Thomas Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Michael Alan Timmons."
• If the father is remarried: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones and Mr. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Michael Alan Timmons."
• If both parents are remarried: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones and Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Michael Alan Timmons."
• If the remarried parent has been your stepparent for a long time and played a significant role in your life: "Michelle & Timothy Wright request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of her daughter Elizabeth Ann Monroe to Kevin Charles Black, son of Barbara and Stanley Black."

Remember, these are just guidelines and examples. Every family is unique, so do what feels right for your situation.

Frequently asked questions