Honoring Deceased Fathers: Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Wedding planning can be a stressful time, especially when you want to honour a deceased parent on your special day. There are many ways to include a deceased father in your wedding invitation, and it can be tricky to know the best approach. You may want to list your parents' names, but you might be unsure how to include your father's name without making it sound like he is still alive. You could also be concerned about the invitation appearing to come from him, which is improper according to traditional etiquette.

Including a deceased father's name on the wedding invitation

Including a deceased father's name on a wedding invitation can be a thoughtful way to honour and acknowledge his memory on your special day. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

Traditional and Formal Wording

For a traditional and formal wedding invitation, you can include the deceased father's name along with the mother's name as the hosts of the wedding. Here's an example:

"Mrs. Sharon Henderson and the late Mr. Nathan Henderson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Preston John Brackman on Saturday, the twenty-first of July Two-thousand and twenty-six at six o'clock in the evening, Dripping Springs, Texas."

Recognising the Groom's Deceased Father

If you want to recognise the groom's deceased father, you can mirror the wording used for the bride's parents. Here's an example:

"Jane Mary Doe, daughter of Mrs. Mary Doe and the late Mr. John Doe, and John William Smith, son of Mrs. William Smith and the late Mr. Smith, request the honour of your presence at their marriage."

Informal Wording

If you prefer a less formal approach, you can use the following example:

"Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma, along with their families and friends, invite you to the celebration of their marriage on Saturday, July 21st, 2024, at 6:00 pm, Bluxome Street Winery, San Francisco, California."

Latin American Tradition

In Latin America, it is customary to list the deceased father on the second line of the invitation, followed by a religious symbol such as a cross or a Star of David. For example:

"The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of Jane Mary Doe, daughter of Mary Doe and the late John Doe*† to John William Smith."

Please note that non-Hispanic guests may not be familiar with this format.

Alternative Ways to Honour the Deceased Father

While including the deceased father's name on the wedding invitation is one way to honour their memory, there are also other ways to do so. Some suggestions include:

• Including the father's name in the wedding programme as "the late Mr. [Name]."
• Carrying a small picture or memento of the father in the bridal bouquet.
• Playing the father's favourite song during the reception.
• Serving the father's favourite food or drink.
• Including the father in prayers during a religious ceremony.

Recognising the bride's deceased father in the invitation

There are several ways to recognise the bride's deceased father in a wedding invitation. While traditional etiquette holds that whoever hosts the wedding issues the invitations, and therefore a deceased father cannot be included on the host line, contemporary practice does allow for some flexibility. Here are some options to consider:

• Formal and traditional wording: This option is perfect for a traditional wedding. The invitation can be worded as follows: "Mrs. Sharon Henderson and the late Mr. Nathan Henderson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Preston John Brackman on [date, time and location]." For a same-sex wedding with two brides, simply swap "daughter" for "son."
• Less formal wording: A less formal option that still allows the bride's parents to extend the invitation: "Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma, together with the families and friends of [bride and groom], invite you to the celebration of their marriage on [date, time and location]."
• Recognising the groom's deceased father: When recognising both the bride's and groom's deceased fathers, the wording can be adjusted accordingly. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Jay Courier and Mrs. Hannah Fullerton and the late Andrew Fullerton request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children on [date, time and location]."
• Single parent or widow/widower: If the bride's mother is also deceased, it is acceptable to include only the deceased father on the invitation: " [Daughter's name], daughter of the late [father's name] and [mother's name], requests the honour of your presence at her marriage to [groom's name] on [date, time and location]."
• Including a step-parent: It is also possible to include a step-parent and a deceased parent on the invitation: " [Step-parent's name] and [bride or groom's name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of [bride or groom] and the late [deceased parent's name] on [date, time and location]."

Remember, the most important thing is to follow your heart and honour the memory of your loved one in a way that feels right for you.

Recognising the groom's deceased father in the invitation

If you want to recognise the groom's deceased father in your wedding invitations, there are a few ways to do so without implying that the invitation comes from him. Here are some suggestions:

• Include the groom's parents' names, mirroring the format used for the bride's parents. For example: "Bride's name, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents' Names" followed by "and Groom's name, son of Mrs. Groom's Mother's Name and the late Mr. Groom's Father's Name, request the pleasure of your company at their wedding."
• Another option is to use the phrase "the late" before the father's name, indicating that he is deceased. For example: "The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of Bride's name, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents' Names, to Groom's name, son of Mrs. Groom's Mother's Name and the late Mr. Groom's Father's Name."
• If you prefer a less formal approach, you can simply write the names of the groom's parents without any specific wording indicating their relationship to the groom. For example: "Groom's name, son of Mrs. Groom's Mother's Name and the late Mr. Groom's Father's Name, invites you to their wedding."
• In Latin America, it is customary to list a deceased father on the second line of the invitation, followed by a religious symbol such as a cross or the Star of David. However, non-Hispanic guests may not recognise the significance of this format.
• If you are having a religious ceremony, you can include the groom's father in your prayers. His name can also be included in the program as "the late Mr. [Groom's Father's Name]."

Remember, the most important consideration is to follow your heart and honour the memory of the groom's father in a way that feels meaningful to you.

Latin American wedding invitation format for a deceased father

Wedding invitation formats vary across Latin America, but there are some commonalities. For instance, in Latin American culture, it is customary to have a Padrino and Madrina, or godparents, who play an important role in the couple's lives. These individuals are often listed on the invitation. Here is a guide on how to list a deceased father on a Latin American wedding invitation:

The Invitation

The wedding invitation is a formal announcement and an expression of joy and celebration. It is important to strike a balance between honouring the memory of the deceased father and maintaining the joyous tone of the occasion.

One option is to include the father's name with an indication of his passing, such as:

"Together with their families, [Bride], daughter of the late [Father's Name] and [Mother's Name], and [Groom], son of [Father's Name] and [Mother's Name], request the honour of your presence at their wedding celebration."

Alternatively, if the mother is hosting, the invitation could be worded as follows:

"[Mother's Name] and the late [Father's Name] request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter [Bride] to [Groom]."

Honouring the Deceased Father

While the invitation itself should be concise, there are other ways to honour the memory of the deceased father during the wedding celebrations. Here are some ideas:

• Include a small photo of the father in the wedding programme with a brief dedication.
• Wrap the father's favourite tie around the bouquet stem.
• Play his favourite song during the reception.
• Serve his favourite food or drink.
• Include him in prayers during a religious ceremony.
• Raise a toast in his honour during the reception.

These subtle gestures will allow you to pay tribute to your father while keeping the joyous atmosphere of your wedding day.

Cultural Considerations

In Latin American weddings, family is of utmost importance, and it is common to incorporate vibrant traditions that vary by country. When deciding on the invitation format and how to honour your deceased father, consider the specific cultural traditions of your country or countries of origin. For example, in Mexico, it is traditional to include 13 gold marriage coins (las arras) in the ceremony, while in Colombia, the money dance (el baile del billete) is a popular tradition.

Final Thoughts

Remember that your wedding invitations should reflect your personal style and cultural heritage. While it is important to be mindful of etiquette, ultimately, the decision on how to list your deceased father is a personal one. Choose the option that feels most meaningful to you and your family.

Honouring a deceased father without listing them as a host

Honouring a deceased parent on your wedding day is an important way to feel their presence and celebrate their memory. Here are some thoughtful ways to honour a deceased father without listing them as a host on the wedding invitation:

Wedding Ceremony

The wedding ceremony is a perfect opportunity to pay tribute to your late father. Here are some ideas:

• Reserve a Seat: Leave an open seat at the front of the ceremony, where your father would have sat. You could place his favourite jacket on the chair or a bouquet of flowers.
• Light a Memorial Candle: Include a memorial candle lighting in the ceremony, symbolising your father's spirit being present with you.
• Write a Tribute in the Program: Create a printed program for the ceremony, including a short tribute to your father. You can mention his name, include a prayer, or dedicate the ceremony in his honour.
• Walk with a Trusted Loved One: If your father would have escorted you down the aisle, ask a trusted loved one to walk with you instead, such as an uncle, family friend, step-parent, sibling, or your mother.
• Wear a Memento: Wear something that belonged to your father or a memento in his honour, such as his handkerchief, as your "something old."
• Mention Him in the Ceremony: Speak to your officiant beforehand and express your desire to honour your father's memory. They can include quotes, passages, or other tributes during the ceremony.

Wedding Reception

The reception is a time to join together with friends and family and celebrate your new union. Here are some ways to honour your father during this time:

• Play His Favourite Song: Playing your father's favourite song at the reception, especially during your first dance, is a beautiful way to keep his memory close.
• Father-Daughter Dance: If you have a trusted loved one stand in, you can still have a father-daughter dance and share memories of your father.
• Memorial Slideshow: Include photos and videos of your father in a memorial slideshow, honouring his place in your life and story.
• Memorial Table: Set up a memorial table with framed photos, mementos, and a small sign to share with your guests. You can also include a memory box where guests can write down their favourite memories of your father.
• Share a Sentimental Recipe: If your father loved to cook, include one of his recipes in your wedding menu. It could be a cherished dessert, appetizer, or even a signature drink.
• Display Family Photos and Heirlooms: Showcase some of your father's favourite belongings, such as family photos, heirlooms, or anything that reminds you of him.
• Give a Wedding Favour in His Honour: Offer a small gift to your guests inspired by your father's interests or include a favourite quote of his.
• Visit His Grave: After the ceremony or reception, visit your father's grave to share your happiness and leave your bouquet.

Wedding Speech

Including your father's memory in a wedding speech is a common and meaningful way to honour him. Here are some suggestions:

• Poem or Prayer: Read a poem or prayer that captures your feelings and experiences with your father. You can also include a moment of silence or a quote from literature or a movie that was special to him.
• Toast in His Name: Raise a toast to your father, encouraging all your guests to honour him. You can even enjoy his favourite drink in his memory.
• Read a Letter: If your father wrote letters to you, read one aloud, or write your own letter expressing what he means to you and why you wanted him to be a part of your wedding.

Frequently asked questions