Addressing Wedding Invites To A Gay Married Couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay married couple, the general rule is to follow the same etiquette as you would for any other married couple. If the couple has the same last name, you can address them as Mr. [Name] and Mr. [Name], or use the French plural titles Messrs. and their shared last name. For a lesbian couple with the same last name, you can use Mrs. [Name] and Mrs. [Name] or the French plural Mesdames followed by their last name. If the couple has different last names, simply list their names on the same line, separated by and. When in doubt, don't hesitate to ask the couple about their preferred greeting.

Alphabetical order

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married gay couple, it is generally recommended to list their names alphabetically if you don't have a preference for whose name goes first. This is a good way to preserve the dignity of both individuals, as it removes any implication of favouritism.

For example, if you are inviting a married couple named Adam and Bob Irvine, you would address the envelope to "Mr. Adam Irvine and Mr. Bob Irvine".

If the married couple has the same surname, you can also use the plural form of the title, such as "The Messrs. Adam and Bob Irvine" or "Messrs. Irvine".

If you are addressing a married couple with different last names, you can list their names alphabetically on separate lines on the outer envelope, such as:

"Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones"

On the inner envelope, you can use their titles and last names: "Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones".

If one member of the couple is a doctor, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" instead of "Mr." or "Mrs.". For example, "Dr. George Bellafante and Mr. Thomas Jones".

Same-sex couple with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a same-sex couple with different last names, the general rule is to write each name on a separate line, using the appropriate title and listing the names alphabetically. For example, "Mr. David Estevez and Mr. John Smith".

If the couple is married, you can write both names on the same line, separated by "and", like so: "Mr. David Estevez and Mr. John Smith". You can also give each name its own title: "Mr. David Estevez and Mr. Smith". If the couple has chosen to keep their last names after marriage, this format is the most appropriate.

Another option is to use the plural form of the title. For two men, you could write "The Messrs. David Estevez and John Smith" or "Messrs. Estevez and Smith". For two women, you could write "The Mesdames Amanda Jones and Jane Williams" or "Mesdames Jones and Williams".

If one member of the couple is a doctor, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" instead of "Mr." or "Mrs.". For example, "Dr. David Estevez and Mr. John Smith". If both are doctors, you can write "Doctors David Estevez and John Smith".

When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is also acceptable to list the names in the order of your preference, as there are no set rules about whose name comes first. However, be sure to be consistent with the order of names on the invitation and the envelope.

Same-sex couple with one hyphenated last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a same-sex couple with one hyphenated last name, the key rules are the same as for any married couple. The main difference is that, for a same-sex couple, either name can go first.

For a male married couple, you would use "Mr." for each person, and for a female married couple, you would use "Mrs." or "Ms." for each person. For example:

> Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft

> Mrs. Amanda Jones-Smith and Mrs. Jane Jones-Smith

> Ms. Amanda Jones-Smith and Ms. Jane Jones-Smith

If the couple has chosen to keep their names separate, you would list each person separately, joined by "and". For example:

> Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby

> Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Smith

> Ms. Amanda Jones and Ms. Jane Smith

If you are using an inner envelope, you can use their first names, e.g. "Marcus and Brian".

If the married couple has the same hyphenated last name, you can also use the plural form of the title. For example:

> Messrs. Marcus and Brian Craft-Jones

> Mesdames Amanda and Jane Jones-Smith

If you are unsure of the correct format, it is always best to ask the couple for their preferred greeting.

Unmarried couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried gay couple, the general rule is to treat it in the same way as you would for an unmarried heterosexual couple. This means that each person is addressed individually, with their names written on separate lines. For example:

Outer envelope:

"Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones"

Inner envelope:

"Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones"

If the couple has different last names, you can also write their names on the same line, separated by "and". For instance:

"Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green"

If the unmarried couple lives at the same address, their names can be written on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first. For example:

"Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"

When in doubt, consider asking the couple about their preferred greeting. They will likely appreciate your thoughtfulness, and you can avoid making a mistake with your invitations.

Married couple with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Here are some guidelines to help you with the formatting:

Including Titles

If you choose to include titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc., the general format is to list both full names on the same line, separated by "and." For a gay married couple with different last names, you can follow this format and include their preferred titles. Here are some examples:

• "Mr. John Smith and Mr. David Johnson"
• "Mrs. Jane Doe and Mrs. Rachel Brown"
• "Mr. John Smith and Mr. David Johnson" (if the couple has chosen to hyphenate their last names, you can write "Mr. John Smith-Johnson and Mr. David Smith-Johnson")

Omitting Titles

If you prefer to omit titles and use a more informal approach, you can simply use their first and last names. Here are some examples:

• "John Smith and David Johnson"
• "Jane Doe and Rachel Brown"

Alphabetical Order

When deciding the order of names, one option is to arrange them alphabetically by first name or last name, especially if you don't have a preference or are unsure whom to put first. This helps maintain consistency and avoid any potential misunderstandings.

Asking the Couple

If you are still unsure about the preferred format, the best approach is to ask the couple directly. They might have specific preferences or requests that you can accommodate. This way, you can ensure that the invitation is addressed correctly and respectfully.

Frequently asked questions