Inviting A Priest To Your Wedding Reception: Etiquette Guide

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important tasks is deciding on the guest list. This can be a tricky process, especially when it comes to inviting the priest or officiant. While it is not mandatory to invite the priest to the wedding reception, it is considered good etiquette to do so, especially if they are a close friend or family member. In this case, it is common courtesy to extend an invitation, and not doing so may be considered rude or offensive. However, if the couple is not particularly close to the priest, the decision becomes more nuanced. Some couples choose to invite the priest out of courtesy, while others may opt not to, especially if they have hired an officiant specifically for the event. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

The priest should receive a formal invitation

The invitation should be sent in the same way as you would for any other guest. You can send a formal, written invitation to the priest, addressing them by their name and religious title. It is also a good idea to include their spouse or partner in the invitation, especially if they are married. This can be done by addressing the invitation to "The Reverend [Name] and Guest" or by including their spouse's name if you know it.

If you have already met with the priest to discuss the wedding ceremony, you may also choose to mention the invitation in person during one of these meetings. However, it is still advisable to follow up with a formal, written invitation to ensure they receive the invitation and have all the necessary details.

When inviting the priest, consider the logistics of the reception venue. If space is limited, the priest may understand if you are only able to invite them as a plus-one to the main guest list, rather than as a guest in their own right. In this case, you could consider inviting them to the rehearsal dinner or another pre-wedding event, where there may be more flexibility with guest numbers.

Extending a formal invitation to the priest is a thoughtful gesture and will ensure that they feel welcomed and valued on your wedding day.

It's polite to invite the priest, but not necessary

It is generally considered polite to invite the priest or officiant to your wedding reception, even if you don't know them very well. However, it is not necessary to do so. If you have a close relationship with the priest, it is only natural that you would want to invite them to join in the festivities after the ceremony.

On the other hand, if you have hired a priest specifically for the event and don't have a personal connection with them, the decision to invite them becomes more discretionary. Some couples choose to invite the officiant as a courtesy, while others don't feel the need to do so, especially if they have different beliefs or are not close with the priest.

If you are having a Catholic wedding, you have likely been working closely with your priest throughout the preparation process, and they have become an important support system. In this case, inviting the priest to the reception is a kind way to thank them for their guidance and support. However, keep in mind that priests have busy schedules, and they may decline the invitation or only stay briefly.

Ultimately, the decision to invite the priest to your wedding reception depends on your personal preferences and your relationship with the priest. If you do choose to invite them, it is proper etiquette to send them a formal invitation, just like you would for any other guest.

Send an invite if you're close with the priest

If you're close with the priest, it's a nice gesture to send them a formal wedding invitation. You can send it in the same way you would to any other guest. Even if you don't know the priest very well, it's still common courtesy to invite them, and they will probably decline the invitation. It's also a good idea to invite them to the rehearsal dinner as they will be in attendance at the wedding rehearsal. If the priest is married, you should also offer them a plus-one on their invite so they can bring their spouse.

If the priest does accept your invitation, you should seat them at a table of honour, such as with your parents or grandparents. It's likely they will only stay briefly, perhaps for a cocktail hour, to offer their congratulations. They may also have another ceremony to perform and will need to leave.

The priest's spouse should be invited

When it comes to inviting a priest to your wedding reception, the short answer is yes, you should extend an invitation to them. This is true even if you don't know your priest well, as it would be awkward to ask them to leave after they have just played such a significant role in your ceremony.

Now, what about the priest's spouse? Should they be invited too? The answer is yes, particularly if the priest is a religious figure like a pastor who is married. In such cases, it is customary and polite to offer them a plus-one so they can bring their spouse. This is similar to inviting any other guest with their partner, even if you don't personally know the spouse.

If the priest is not married, or if they are but you are unsure whether they would like to bring their spouse, you can still offer a plus-one. Ultimately, it is their decision whether to bring someone, and they may choose to attend alone.

It's worth noting that the priest and their spouse are not expected to stay for the entire event. They will likely politely decline the invitation or stay briefly, perhaps just for the meal or cocktail hour, before offering their congratulations and leaving. This is especially true if they don't have a close bond with the couple or family.

So, when inviting a priest to your wedding reception, it is appropriate to invite their spouse as well. This is a courteous gesture, and even if they decline, it shows your appreciation for their role in your special day.

The priest may decline the invitation

When planning a wedding, it is customary to invite the priest or officiant who is marrying you. This is true even if you don't know them well—it would be awkward to ask them to leave after the ceremony when they have just played such an important role in your life. However, the priest may decline your invitation for various reasons.

Priests are busy people with many other commitments, so it is possible that your priest will have another ceremony to perform or other pastoral duties to attend to. They may also have pre-planned travel or prior engagements that conflict with your wedding. In addition, priests are often invited to the rehearsal dinner, which is usually held the day before the wedding, so they may decline the reception invitation if they are already attending the rehearsal dinner.

If your priest is not well acquainted with you, they may feel that their presence at the reception is not necessary. They might prefer to leave after the ceremony, especially if they have other commitments or responsibilities. It is also possible that personal reasons or matters relating to their health may prevent them from staying for the entire event.

Financial considerations could be another reason for a priest's decline. Attending a wedding can be expensive, especially if it is a destination wedding or requires travel and accommodation. A priest may decline the invitation if they feel they cannot afford the associated costs.

Lastly, a priest may decline your invitation due to personal reasons or matters of principle. For example, if there will be alcohol at the reception, the priest may be uncomfortable attending or feel it is inappropriate. Similarly, they may decline if they are unable or unwilling to provide pre-marital counselling, which is sometimes expected of the officiant.

Frequently asked questions