Guide To Wording 'Adults-Only' On Your Wedding Invites

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is a tricky conversation. It's important to be clear and consistent from the start, especially for parents who will need to arrange childcare. While it's best to avoid explicitly stating adults only or no children on the invitation, you can convey the message through your reception card. For example, by suggesting the event will be an intimate ceremony or cocktail reception at a venue that isn't child-friendly. Here are some other ways to word adults only on your wedding invites.

Adults-only wording on the invitation

Deciding on an adults-only wedding can be a tricky conversation to navigate, but there are many ways to tactfully communicate this to your guests. Here are some suggestions for wording your invitations to make your preferences clear while being mindful of your guests' feelings:

Short Wording Suggestions:

These examples are perfect for including on your invitation or response card:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16/18 at the reception."
• "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony."
• "The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception."

Long Wording Suggestions:

These examples are suitable for messages included on information cards. The longer explanations can help soften the wording and clarify your preferences:

• "Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."
• "Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend."
• "To allow all wedding guests, including parents, a night of relaxation, we respectfully ask that no children attend the reception."
• "We wish we could include all children, but are unfortunately only able to invite immediate family."

Additional Tips:

• Be clear and consistent from the start: Spread the word early so that fewer guests are surprised when the invitation arrives.
• Don't make exceptions: It's generally best to take an "all or nothing" approach to avoid hurt feelings and offending parents.
• Address your invitations correctly: Only list the invited guests' names on the envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez," not "The Chavez Family."
• Include a count on the RSVP cards: Beneath the line where guests write their names, add "___ out of ___ guests" and fill in the second line with the number of invited guests.
• Share the information on your wedding website: Include an FAQ page and state that while you love children, you prefer adults-only attendance so that guests can fully enjoy themselves.

Addressing the invitation to specific guests only

Be Clear and Consistent

It is important to be clear and consistent in your messaging. Decide on the parameters for who qualifies as an "adult" and stick to those guidelines. This could be a certain age, such as over 18 or 21, or other criteria such as being out of college or financially independent. Communicate these parameters to your guests through word-of-mouth or on your wedding website.

Don't Make Exceptions

To avoid any confusion or hurt feelings, avoid making exceptions to your "adults-only" policy. This includes children in the wedding party, nieces, nephews, or other close relatives. The only exception you may consider is for a nursing mother to bring her infant.

Addressing Envelopes

When addressing the envelopes, only include the names of the specific guests who are invited. For example, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" instead of "The Chavez Family." This makes it clear that only the parents are invited and not their children.

Use Inner Envelopes

Consider using both an outer and inner envelope for your invitations. Address the outer envelope to the family, and the inner envelope to the specific invited guests. This is a subtle way to indicate who is invited while still including the entire family on the outer envelope.

Include a Guest Count on the RSVP Cards

Another way to clarify the number of invited guests is to include a count on the RSVP cards. You can write, "We have reserved __ spots for you" or "___ of ___ guests." This will help avoid any confusion and ensure that your guests understand who is invited.

Add a Personalized Note

If you are concerned about offending your guests or want to provide more context, consider adding a personalized note to the invitation. For example, "We'd love to have Lexie and Max there, but unfortunately, we're limited by budget/space constraints. We hope you can still make it." This approach shows consideration for your guests' feelings while still maintaining your "adults-only" policy.

Including a note on the reception card

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding can be one of the most difficult parts of wedding planning. If you've decided to have an adults-only wedding, you'll want to communicate this to your guests in a clear and tactful way. Here are some suggestions for including a note on the reception card:

Be Direct and Concise

Keep the wording simple and direct, with no room for ambiguity. Here are some examples:

• "Adults-only reception"
• "Children over 16 years of age only"
• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock"
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow"
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception"

Provide a Longer Explanation

If you wish, you can include a longer explanation on the reception card. This can be especially helpful if you want to provide more context for your decision or soften the wording. Here are some examples:

• "Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair."
• "The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception."
• "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."
• "Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend."
• "We wish we could include all children, but are unfortunately only able to invite immediate family."

Offer Alternatives

If you want to assist your guests with childcare arrangements, you can include information about babysitting services or a dedicated kids' room at the venue or hotel. Here are some examples:

• "Regrettably, our chosen venue is unable to accommodate children. Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel."
• "We are happy to assist with childcare arrangements. Please let us know if you need help with making arrangements."

Be Mindful of Tone and Wording

When crafting your message, be mindful of the tone and wording to ensure it aligns with the style of your wedding and your relationship with your guests. You may also want to consider including a similar note on your wedding website or FAQ page to reinforce the message. Remember, the key is to be clear and consistent in communicating your adults-only request.

Adding a count on the RSVP cards

Pre-printed Response Card:

• Include a line such as "__ of __ attending" or "__ of __ guests will attend." You can pre-fill the second blank with the number of guests invited to ensure clarity. For example, if a couple is invited, write "__ of 2 attending." This leaves space for guests to write in their names and clearly indicates the number of expected attendees.
• Another option is to have separate lines for acceptance and regret, such as "_2_ accept and _0_ regret." This format still allows you to indicate the number of guests attending while providing a more traditional response format.

Free-form Response Card:

If you opt for a blank response card without a pre-printed format, guests can write a personal message while still including the number of attendees. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will be attending. We are excited to celebrate with you!" Here, the number of guests is communicated within the sentence.

Digital Responses:

If you are using a wedding website for RSVPs, you can still include a count by providing a clear format for responses. For example, "Kindly respond by [date] at [wedding website URL]. We have reserved _2_ spots for you." This way, guests can confirm their attendance for the specified number of people.

Name Bands:

Consider using name bands, which are paper wraps digitally printed with guest names. They add a touch of colour and elegance to your invitations while allowing you to list the names of each invited guest. This helps avoid any confusion and ensures that only the intended guests are included.

Consistency and Clarity:

Ensure that your RSVP cards align with the wording and tone of your invitations. Be consistent in specifying the adults-only nature of the event, whether through subtle hints or explicit statements. This consistency will help your guests understand your preferences.

Additional Information:

If you have the space, consider including additional details on an information card. This can be especially helpful if you are requesting an adults-only celebration due to venue restrictions or if you are providing babysitting options for guests with children.

Remember, it is essential to be clear and consistent in your communication about the adults-only nature of your wedding. Combining the right wording with a clear count on your RSVP cards will help ensure that your guests understand your preferences and avoid any misunderstandings.

Sharing the information on your wedding website

If you're worried about causing offence by announcing your wedding is adults-only, a good way to get the message across is by sharing it on your wedding website. This way, you can be clear and tactful at the same time.

Your wedding website is a great place to share wording about your adults-only wedding from the beginning. Remember, your save-the-date notices are a great place to share your wedding website early on. You can even add a count on the RSVP cards. Beneath the line where guests can write their names, add “___ of ___ guests” and fill in that second line with the number of guests included in each invitation to avoid any confusion.

On your site, be sure to include an FAQ page. Include the question "Can we bring kids?" and clearly state that, while you love all those little ones in your lives, you really want your family and friends to be able to have a fantastic time without worrying about their kids. You could say something like: "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."

If you're providing childcare, be sure to include this information on your website. You could say something like: "Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel."

If you're inviting children who are part of the wedding party, make sure to mention this on your website, so other guests know that only specific children are invited. You could say: "Unfortunately, due to space limitations, we are having an adults-only reception. The only children attending are those who are part of our wedding party."

If you're inviting newborns or infants, be sure to mention this on your website. You could say: "Respectfully, an adult occasion (18+). Infants under 12 months are welcome."

Frequently asked questions