Keep Your Wedding Intimate: Invite Only Two Guests

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding who to invite. Wedding guest lists can be a tricky topic, as couples may feel obligated to invite certain people, such as distant relatives or friends they have lost touch with, to avoid offending them. However, it's important to remember that a wedding is a celebration of love and should include only those who are close to the couple. To make the process easier, here are some tips to consider when deciding on your guest list and whether to offer plus-ones:

- Invite the people you love and who bring joy to your life.

- Don't invite people you've lost touch with, especially if you wouldn't spend $300 on a meal with them.

- Consider your budget and venue when creating your guest list.

- Stand your ground and don't let parents add guests you don't know, such as distant relatives or coworkers.

- Account for plus-ones for guests with significant others, even if they aren't married or engaged.

- Don't feel obligated to invite children or give every guest a plus-one, especially if it's not within your budget.

- Be mindful of seating arrangements to ensure solo guests feel comfortable.

- Be prepared to respond to guests who may ask for a plus-one, and kindly explain your decision if you can't accommodate their request.

Plus-ones for immediate family members

When it comes to plus-ones for immediate family members, wedding etiquette suggests that they should be allowed to bring a guest. This is a way to acknowledge and respect their union, even if you are not particularly close to their spouse or have never met them. It is considered polite to extend this invitation to immediate family members, even if budget and space are limited.

However, if your wedding budget is tight and you need to be more selective with plus-ones, you can consider other factors. For example, if your sibling or parent is in the bridal party, it is a nice gesture to offer them a plus-one as a token of appreciation for their efforts and support. This is especially true if they have gone out of their way to help with wedding planning, such as organising a bridal shower or bachelor party.

Another factor to consider is whether your immediate family member is in a serious, long-term relationship. If they are married, engaged, or living with their partner, it is generally considered good etiquette to invite them as a couple. On the other hand, if your family member has recently started dating someone new or is casually seeing someone, there is less pressure to offer a plus-one.

Additionally, if your immediate family member is travelling from out of town, it is thoughtful to allow them to bring a plus-one. This way, they can share accommodation and have a companion during their trip. It can also make them feel more comfortable if they don't know many other attendees.

Ultimately, the decision to offer plus-ones to immediate family members depends on your budget, venue capacity, and personal preferences. You may need to prioritise and make some tough choices, but remember that your wedding day should reflect what you and your partner want.

Plus-ones for wedding party members

The Wedding Party's Efforts and Support

Your wedding party has likely been a significant source of help and encouragement throughout the entire wedding preparation process. They've dedicated their time, energy, and money to support you. They've been there for dress shopping, planning your bachelorette/bachelor party, and all the other little details that come with wedding planning. Allowing them to bring a plus-one is a nice way to say "thank you" for their efforts and to let them share this special day with someone they care about.

Budget and Venue Constraints

Budget and venue limitations are crucial factors to consider when deciding on plus-ones. Each additional guest means extra costs for catering, favours, chair rentals, and more. If your budget and venue capacity are limited, you may need to be selective about who gets a plus-one. In such cases, it is generally considered courteous to at least offer plus-ones to your wedding party.

Dynamics and Comfort

Attending a wedding alone can be uncomfortable, especially if the wedding party members are mostly couples or closely related. Allowing plus-ones can alleviate some of that discomfort and ensure your wedding party members have a better time. It's also worth considering the dynamics between the wedding party members and their procession partners. If they are not dating or don't know each other well, it can be awkward to force them to pair up, and offering plus-ones can avoid this situation.

Pre-Wedding Activities and Seating Arrangements

Including plus-ones in pre-wedding activities, such as rehearsal dinners and breakfasts, can be a great way to foster new friendships and help them feel more included in the festivities. When it comes to the reception, instead of seating the wedding party together, you can mix things up by seating them with their plus-ones. This allows them to enjoy their date during the reception and creates a more communal feel to the event.

Communication and Expectations

Clear communication is essential. If you decide to offer plus-ones to your wedding party, make sure to address all invitees clearly and up-front on the invitations. Be mindful that not all wedding party members may want to bring a plus-one, so it's important to make it optional. Additionally, be prepared for questions or requests from guests who do not receive a plus-one. Handle these inquiries with kindness and honesty, explaining the limitations and your decision-making process.

Plus-ones for guests who won't know many attendees

Deciding on your guest list for your wedding can be a stressful task, especially when it comes to plus-ones. Here are some tips for navigating plus-ones for guests who won't know many attendees:

Out-of-town guests

If you have guests travelling from out of town, it is common to offer them a plus-one so they don't feel out of place or lonely. Attending a wedding alone, especially if you don't know many other guests, can be an awkward experience.

VIP guests

If you have a VIP guest who is single, such as a close friend or family member, consider giving them a plus-one so they can feel more comfortable and have fun. While they may know you and your partner, they likely won't have much time to spend with you on your big day.

Single guests who know everyone

If you have a close-knit family or circle of friends where everyone knows each other, there is no pressure to extend a plus-one to single guests. They will have a great time surrounded by familiar faces, even without bringing a date.

Budget and space constraints

If you are working with a limited budget or have restricted space at your venue, you may not be able to accommodate plus-ones for all guests. In this case, create an "A" list of guests who should absolutely receive a plus-one, and a "B" list of guests who you would like to include if possible.

Clear criteria

If budget and space allow, you may decide to give all single guests a plus-one. However, if this is not feasible, set clear criteria for who gets to invite a plus-one. For example, you could only allow single members of the bridal party to bring an additional person.

Seating arrangements

When creating your seating plan, be mindful of guests who are attending without a plus-one. Seat them with outgoing and friendly couples they will likely get along with, to create a more communal feel to the event and help them meet people organically.

Plus-ones for those in serious relationships

Deciding on your guest list can be one of the most challenging parts of wedding planning. Plus-ones are no exception, and it's essential to consider the budget and space available when making decisions. Here are some tips for navigating plus-ones for those in serious relationships:

Define "Serious Relationship"

Start by defining what constitutes a serious relationship for you. Traditionally, married, engaged, and cohabitating guests receive a plus-one. You may also consider couples who have been dating for over a year as falling into this category. It's important to use your judgment and err on the side of caution. If in doubt, include a plus-one for these guests.

Be Consistent

Apply clear and consistent criteria when deciding on plus-ones. If you allow one single guest outside the bridal party to bring a casual partner or friend, it's only fair to extend the same courtesy to all single guests. This consistency will help to avoid hurt feelings and ensure everyone feels valued.

Out-of-Town Guests

Consider giving plus-ones to out-of-town guests who may not know many other attendees. Attending a wedding alone, especially in an unfamiliar place, can be overwhelming and lonely. By offering a plus-one, you make it more comfortable and enjoyable for these guests.

Wedding Party Members

It is customary to offer plus-ones to members of the wedding party. This is a courteous gesture to show your appreciation for their time, support, and efforts throughout the wedding planning process. They have likely spent a significant amount of money on attire, lodging, and transportation, so a plus-one is a nice way to thank them.

Be Mindful of Seating Arrangements

When creating your seating plan, be mindful of solo guests. Avoid seating them between couples, as this can be awkward. Instead, place them between outgoing and friendly couples they can mingle with to create a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

Communicate Clearly

When sending out invitations, be clear about who is invited. On the envelope, address the invitation to the guest and their plus-one by name, if possible. If you're allowing a casual date, you can write the guest's name and "and guest." This clarity will help your guests understand who is invited and avoid any confusion or misunderstandings.

Creating an A list and B list for guests

Creating an A-list and B-list for your wedding guests is a great way to ensure that you can invite the most people without increasing your budget or having to find a larger venue. Here are some tips for creating these lists:

The A-List

The A-list should consist of your must-have guests—the people you couldn't imagine not having at your wedding. This includes close family members and friends, as well as their plus-ones. If you have the budget and space, you can offer every unattached guest on your A-list a plus-one. However, if you're on a tighter budget or have limited space, you may need to be more selective about who gets a plus-one. Here are some guidelines:

• Anyone who is married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship should get a plus-one, even if you've never met their spouse or partner.
• Members of your wedding party should get a plus-one as a token of appreciation for their time, love, and support during the wedding planning process.
• VIP guests who are travelling from out of town and won't know many people at the wedding should get a plus-one so they can feel comfortable and have fun.

The B-List

The B-list includes people you would enjoy having at your wedding but who are not essential. This might include colleagues, distant relatives, or friends you're not particularly close to. You can also add plus-ones to your B-list if you think you might have the budget for them later on. Here are some tips for managing your B-list:

• Send out your first round of invitations to the A-list earlier than usual (around 10 weeks before the wedding) to give yourself enough time to send out B-list invitations if needed.
• Order extra wedding invitations in your first batch to save money, as buying in bulk is more cost-effective.
• Be realistic about the number of guests and plus-ones to avoid stress later on. Crunch the numbers and choose a conservative estimate to avoid exceeding your budget or venue capacity.
• Include the names of guests on the response cards to avoid people adding extra plus-ones.
• Make sure you know the name of every plus-one so you can have it written correctly on all stationery.

Frequently asked questions