Addressing Wedding Invites To Widowers: A Guide For The Bride-To-Be

When addressing wedding invitations to widows, it is important to be mindful of their preferences. While widows traditionally keep their husband's surname, it is best to ask someone close to the widow about her preferred name and title. Generally, widows are addressed as Mrs. followed by their married name if they have not remarried or legally changed their name. If the widow has reverted to her maiden name, it is appropriate to use Ms. or Mrs. followed by her first and maiden name. For more casual events, a widow can be addressed using her first and married last name, or simply her full name without any title.

Using the widow's married name

When addressing a widow, it is best to ask someone close to her whether she prefers to be addressed using her husband's name or her married name. Some widows might also prefer to use "Ms.", so be sure to inquire.

Outer envelope: Mrs. George Devereaux

Inner envelope: Mrs. Devereaux

If the widow is a doctor:

Outer envelope: Dr. Mrs. George Devereaux

Inner envelope: Dr. Devereaux

If the widow has a military title:

Outer envelope: Lieutenant Mrs. George Devereaux, US Army

Inner envelope: Lieutenant Devereaux, US Army

If the widow is a judge:

Outer envelope: The Honorable Mrs. George Devereaux

Inner envelope: Judge Devereaux

If the widow is a rabbi:

Outer envelope: Rabbi Mrs. George Devereaux

Inner envelope: Rabbi Devereaux

Using the widow's first name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a widow, it is appropriate to use either her deceased husband's first name or her own first name. For example, you could address the widow as "Mrs. John Jones" or "Mrs. Kathleen Jones". If the widow never changed her last name to her spouse's last name and kept her maiden name, you can address her with the name she has always been using. In this case, you would use either the title "Mrs." or "Ms.", whichever she prefers, or "Mrs." if you are uncertain.

If you are close to the widow, it is a good idea to call and ask her which title and name she would like you to use. This is the best way to find out directly from the person you are inviting, and she will appreciate that you asked. If you don't feel comfortable talking to the widow about this or aren't close to her, consider why you are deciding to invite her and why you plan to include her as one of your guests.

Traditionally, "Mrs." is the most preferred way to address a widow, and a woman is more likely to keep her married name when she becomes a widow. However, addressing a widow with "Ms." can be used as a neutral alternative, especially if a lot of time has passed since she lost her spouse or if you are unsure of her marital status.

Using 'Ms' or 'Mrs'

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to use the correct titles for your guests as a sign of respect. While it's helpful to understand the traditional use of titles, it's always best to ask about someone's preferred title if you're unsure. Here's a guide to help you navigate the use of "Ms." or "Mrs." when addressing wedding invitations to widowers.

Using "Ms." or "Mrs." for Widow

Traditionally, a widow is addressed as "Mrs." along with her married last name if she chose to take her spouse's surname. This is considered the default title unless she has remarried or specifically requested otherwise. However, there are a few exceptions to this rule:

• If the widow has legally reverted to her maiden last name, it may be more appropriate to use "Ms."
• If a significant amount of time has passed since the death of her spouse, using "Ms." might be more respectful of her current situation.
• If the widow is remarried or is currently in a relationship, "Ms." might be a better choice.

In these cases, it is advisable to check with the widow directly before finalising the invitation salutation.

Addressing the Envelope

When sending casual correspondence, such as a thank-you note, a holiday card, or an invitation to a less formal event, a less formal salutation can be used. You can address the widow as "Mrs." followed by her first and married last name. Alternatively, you can choose to omit the title and simply write her full name. Here are some examples:

• Mrs. [First Name] [Married Last Name]
• [First Name] [Married Last Name]

For formal correspondence, such as a wedding invitation, it is customary to use the traditional, formal format:

Mrs. [Deceased Spouse's First Name] [Married Last Name]

However, if you feel uncomfortable defining your guest by her former husband's name, you can simply use her full name, especially for women who were in non-heterosexual marriages.

Additional Considerations

If the widow has remarried and taken her new spouse's last name, the traditional format of using "Mr." and "Mrs." with the husband's first and last name can be applied. Here's an example:

Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Husband's Last Name]

In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations to widowers, it is important to consider their preferences, the amount of time passed since the death of their spouse, and their current marital status. Using the appropriate title, whether "Ms." or "Mrs.", is a respectful way to honour their marital status and ensure they feel comfortable and seen.

Addressing the envelope

When addressing a wedding invitation to a widow, it is important to follow the correct etiquette. Traditionally, wedding invitations for widows are addressed using the first and last name of the deceased partner, for example, "Mrs. John Jones". However, it is also acceptable to use the widow's own first name and married last name, for instance, "Mrs. Kathleen Jones".

Another option is to use "Ms." followed by the widow's first and last name, for example, "Ms. Mary Jones". This is because widows, as well as divorced women, may prefer to use "Ms." instead of "Mrs.".

If you are unsure of the widow's preference, do not hesitate to contact her to confirm. It is also worth noting that "Miss" is not typically used to address widows.

• Mrs. John Jones
• Mrs. Kathleen Jones
• Ms. Mary Jones

Asking about the widow's preference

When addressing a wedding invitation to a widow, it is important to consider her preferences. While widows traditionally keep their husband's surname until they remarry, it is best to ask someone close to her about her preferred form of address.

If the widow has chosen to retain her married name, the traditional form of address is "Mrs." followed by her married name. For example, "Mrs. John Smith" or "Mrs. Elizabeth Smith".

However, if the widow has reverted to her maiden name, it is appropriate to use "Ms." followed by her maiden name, such as "Ms. Elizabeth Jones".

When addressing a wedding invitation to a widow, it is also acceptable to use her first name, such as "Mrs. Elizabeth Smith" or simply "Elizabeth Smith".

In more casual settings, such as a bridal shower, it is common to use a less formal salutation, such as addressing the widow by her first name and married last name, or simply by her full name.

If you are unsure about the widow's preferences, do not hesitate to contact her directly to confirm. It is important to make her feel comfortable and respected.

Frequently asked questions