Navigating Wedding Invitations: Covid-Era Etiquette

Planning a wedding during the coronavirus pandemic can be stressful, exhausting, and overwhelming. One of the most challenging aspects is managing guest expectations and keeping them informed about any changes to the event. If you need to reduce your guest count, it's important to let them know that this decision was made to protect their health and safety. Creating a consistent rule for reducing the guest list, such as limiting it to immediate family and the bridal party, can help to avoid hurt feelings. It's also recommended to reach out personally to each uninvited guest to explain the situation. For those choosing to elope or have a small family ceremony, sending out two sets of invitations and an early save-the-date notice can help manage expectations.

Letting uninvited guests down gently

Be Transparent: Explain the Reasons

It's important to be transparent and honest about why you are unable to invite them to your wedding. Be gentle but clear in your explanation, whether it's due to venue capacity, budget constraints, or other factors.

Express Your Regret:

Let the uninvited guests know that you are genuinely sorry that you can't include them in your special day. Express your regret and wish that circumstances were different.

Personalize Your Message:

Take the time to write a personalized message to each uninvited guest. Avoid sending generic messages, as this may come across as insensitive. Let them know that this decision was difficult for you and that their presence would have been valued.

Avoid Making Assumptions:

Don't assume that certain people won't be upset about not being invited. Even if you think someone might not be interested in attending, it's important to extend the same courtesy and gently let them know that you're unable to include them.

Be Mindful of Your Tone:

The way you deliver the news matters. Choose your words carefully and opt for a kind and empathetic tone. Avoid sounding dismissive or indifferent, as this may cause hurt feelings.

Offer Alternative Ways to Celebrate:

If possible, suggest alternative ways to celebrate with the uninvited guests. For example, you could propose a post-wedding get-together or offer to have a private celebration with them separately.

Be Understanding:

Recognize that some people may feel hurt or disappointed, and allow them to express their emotions. Be understanding and validate their feelings, even if you can't change the situation.

Send Your Regrets Promptly:

Don't delay in letting uninvited guests know about your decision. The sooner you communicate your regrets, the better it will be for everyone involved.

Be Consistent:

Ensure that your message to uninvited guests remains consistent. Avoid sharing different explanations with different people, as this may create confusion and hurt feelings.

Respect Their Reactions:

Understand that people may react differently to the news. Some may be understanding, while others may be upset or offended. Respect their reactions and try to maintain your relationship by being compassionate and empathetic.

Handling elopements or small ceremonies

Elopements or small ceremonies are a great way to get married during the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are some tips for handling them:

Choose the Perfect Location

Even during the pandemic, your wedding day can still be an adventure. The first step in planning your elopement is to choose the perfect location. While some resources may not be applicable due to travel restrictions, you can still find a beautiful and intimate setting for your ceremony. Consider jaw-dropping backdrops, such as national parks or scenic trails, to make your day memorable.

Hire the Right Team

A common myth about elopements is that they require less planning and preparation than traditional weddings. While there may be fewer details to consider, it's important to hire the right vendor team to bring your vision to life. Reach out to vendors you may have already booked for your initial wedding plans and see if they can accommodate an elopement. If not, there are many talented elopement photographers and planners who can help you create a stress-free and intimate celebration.

Pack the Essentials

When eloping, it's crucial to pack the essentials for your big day. Create a day-of emergency kit with items like makeup for touch-ups, sunscreen, a mini mirror, a sewing kit, a first aid kit, extra bobby pins, and breath mints. Don't forget your marriage license and ensure you have someone ordained to officiate the ceremony. Bring water for the hike and a bottle of champagne to pop when you say "I do"!

Include Your Guests Virtually

If you want your closest friends and family to be a part of your elopement, consider live-streaming your ceremony. Set up a mobile streaming service and test the signal at your chosen location in advance. Ask your guests to mute their microphones to avoid unwanted background noise, and don't forget to record the video stream for future memories. Encourage your guests to dress up as if they were attending in person, creating a sense of occasion for everyone involved.

Plan a Reception for Later

Just because you're eloping now doesn't mean you can't have a traditional wedding ceremony and reception later. You can renew your vows and celebrate with a larger group of loved ones when COVID-19 restrictions are lifted. Order a comprehensive wedding album that includes photos of both your elopement and the reception to create a complete wedding experience.

Storing wedding gowns

After the big day, it can be hard to say goodbye to your wedding dress. Many brides choose to hang on to their gowns, passing them on to their children or wearing them again for an anniversary vow renewal. If you're planning to store your wedding dress, it's important to take the right steps to preserve it. Here are some tips for storing your wedding gown:

• Keep it away from high-traffic areas: Store your gown in a cool, dry, and dark room, such as a closet or guest room. This will help protect it from heat sources, moisture, and odours.
• Choose the right storage method: The best storage method for your gown will depend on its weight and fabric type. Lightweight fabrics like chiffon, organza, tulle, and certain laces can be hung up, while medium to heavy fabrics like satin, lace, mikado, or crepe should be laid flat.
• Use the right materials: When storing your gown, use acid-free tissue paper and avoid plastic, which can cause discolouration. Wrap your gown in acid-free tissue paper and store it in an acid-free garment box or cover it with a cotton or cotton/muslin blend garment bag.
• Protect the details: If your gown has delicate straps, beading, or lace, take extra care to protect these details. Use a padded hanger to avoid creasing or stretching, and make sure that the hanging loops are shorter than the length of the bodice to take the weight off the shoulders, straps, and sleeves.
• Store accessories separately: Veils, headpieces, shoes, and crinolines should be stored separately from the dress to prevent damage. The veil and headpiece can be stored in the same box as the dress, but they should not touch.
• Act quickly: The sooner you can get your dress to a preservationist or dry cleaner, the better. This will help prevent stains from setting into the fabric.
• Choose a reputable preservationist: Wedding dress preservation is a specialised process, so be sure to choose a preservationist or dry cleaner with experience in handling gowns. Ask about their training, the number and types of dresses they handle, and their overall experience.
• Handle with care: When you do open the preservation box, be sure to handle your gown with clean hands or wear white cotton gloves to avoid discolouration.
• Store in a cool, dark place: Once you've received your gown back from the preservationist, store it in a cool, dark place within your primary living quarters, such as the top shelf of your closet. Avoid storing it in the basement or attic.

Wedding insurance

There are three main types of wedding insurance:

• Wedding liability insurance: This covers injuries or property damage that occur during the event. It often includes host liquor liability insurance, which protects you financially if a guest has too much to drink and gets into an accident. Liability insurance provides you with protection if you or your guests cause property damage to your wedding venue, if someone is injured at your wedding, or if a guest leaves your event drunk and gets into an accident.
• Wedding cancellation or postponement insurance: This reimburses you if you have to cancel or delay your wedding due to unforeseen circumstances, such as extreme weather, illness or injury of an immediate family member, or vendor bankruptcy. This type of insurance can also cover additional expenses incurred to avoid cancelling or postponing the wedding, such as hiring a new vendor at a higher cost.
• Vendor liability insurance: This covers vendors who don't have their own liability insurance. It is usually offered for caterers, bands/musicians, photographers/videographers, and wedding planners/day-of coordinators.

When considering wedding insurance, it's important to read the terms and conditions carefully, paying attention to the exclusions. Some policies may not cover things like cold feet, rainy days (as opposed to extreme weather), theft or loss of your engagement ring, or cancellation due to COVID-19.

The cost of wedding insurance can range from less than $100 for liability coverage only to over $1,000 for larger cancellation policies, depending on factors such as the number of guests, coverage types, deductibles, and policy limits.

Some popular wedding insurance companies include eWed, Markel, Travelers, WedSafe, and Wedsure. These companies offer various coverage options and add-ons, and it's worth reviewing their policies to see which one best suits your needs.

Vendor contracts

When it comes to vendor contracts, it's important to understand the legal implications and your rights and obligations as a couple. The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted the wedding industry, with many couples facing cancellations or postponements. Here are some key considerations regarding vendor contracts during this challenging time:

• Force Majeure Clauses: These clauses are included in service contracts and allow for the cancellation or rescheduling of events due to unforeseen circumstances beyond anyone's control. While a global pandemic may seem like an obvious "Act of God," it's not always that straightforward. To ensure coverage, insist on specific language related to COVID-19, such as "pandemic" or "public health crisis," when negotiating your contract.
• Cancellation Policies: Understand the cancellation policy outlined in your vendor contracts. While force majeure clauses may provide some relief, they are not a guarantee. Each clause is unique, and courts will interpret them differently. Discuss your options with vendors, including the possibility of rescheduling within a specified period rather than cancelling altogether.
• Impracticability and Frustration of Purpose: Even without a force majeure clause, you may have legal defences under these doctrines. If COVID-19 has made fulfilling the contract impracticable or has fundamentally changed the purpose of the contract, you may have a case for relief from your obligations.
• Mitigation and Cooperation: Before invoking force majeure or frustration claims, work with your vendors to explore viable options. Accommodations, rescheduling, or postponements should be considered. Remember, your vendors are also impacted by the pandemic and may be willing to work with you to find a solution.
• Non-refundable Retainers: Wedding vendors typically require non-refundable retainers to reserve your date. If you choose to cancel rather than postpone your wedding, expect to lose this retainer. Vendors rely on these retainers to turn away other business and protect their income during uncertain times.
• Communication is Key: Keep an open line of communication with your vendors. If you need to reschedule, consult with them first to find a mutually agreeable date. Their availability is limited, and they want to work with you to fulfil their end of the contract. Working together will help minimise financial losses for both parties.

Remember, each situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Treat your vendors with kindness and grace, as they are also navigating this challenging situation. Flexibility and cooperation will go a long way in ensuring a positive outcome for all involved.

Frequently asked questions