Best Man Speech: Teamwork Makes The Dream Work

A joint best man speech is one of the trickiest to pull off. It can be a disaster, or it can be a triumph. The key to success is planning. The best men should get together and reminisce, gathering stories and anecdotes about the groom, especially the embarrassing ones. Agree on a theme to tie the speech together. Then, decide who will say what, bearing in mind that the speech should be a celebration of the newlyweds, not the best men. Rehearse together, and remember to laugh and have fun on the day.

Keep it concise

As a duo, it's even more important to keep your best man speech short and sweet. Aim for no more than 7 minutes total. This will ensure the speech keeps a brisk pace and doesn't eat into the time allotted for other activities during the wedding reception.

Before the big day, time yourselves delivering the speech out loud. This will give you a sense of whether you need to cut anything. If you're struggling to trim the speech down, remember that it's better to be brief and leave the guests wanting more than to drone on and see people's attention wander.

Keep your anecdotes and jokes concise as well. You don't need to provide a lot of background or context—just launch into the story and let it speak for itself. If you're referencing inside jokes or obscure details that only a few people in the room will understand, provide a quick sentence or two of context so that everyone can follow along.

Be respectful of the couple's privacy as well. Avoid sharing anything that might embarrass them or that they wouldn't want their families to hear. It's fine to be playful and to roast the groom a bit, but don't go too far. Keep the speech positive and good-natured.

Finally, don't forget to rehearse! Practising your speech will help you refine your delivery and ensure that you're not speaking too quickly. It will also give you a chance to time yourselves and make any necessary adjustments. With a little preparation, your joint best man speech will be a hit.

Plan ahead

Planning is an essential part of delivering a successful joint best man's speech. Here are some tips to help you prepare:

Gather Stories and Anecdotes

Get together with your co-best man and brainstorm stories about the groom, especially the embarrassing and funny ones. Look for themes that emerge from these stories, such as the groom's tendency to get into trouble or miss opportunities. These themes will help bring your speech together and make it more cohesive.

Be Insightful

As you gather stories, also identify the groom's quirks, flaws, and unique characteristics. Dissect his physical appearance, style, habits, abilities, and intellect. Be specific in your observations, as this will make your speech more entertaining and memorable. For example, instead of saying he looks "a bit weird," pinpoint a unique feature like "T-Rex-sized arms."

Include Sincere Content

While humour is essential, don't forget to include sincere and heartfelt content about the groom. Find anecdotes that showcase his positive attributes and the impact he has had on your life. This will add a touch of warmth and sentiment to your speech.

Structure and Allocate Responsibilities

Decide on the structure and flow of your speech. Will it be a back-and-forth dialogue, or will you each take turns speaking for a few minutes? Allocate specific sections or paragraphs to each of you, ensuring a smooth transition between speakers.

Rehearse and Refine

Once you have a draft of your speech, rehearse it together. Practise your delivery, timing, and any ad-libs or comedic interactions you plan to include. Be open to refining and editing your speech based on your rehearsals to make it tighter and more engaging.

Collaborate and Communicate

Regular communication and collaboration with your co-best man are crucial. Ensure you are on the same page to avoid overlap or repetition in your speech content. This will create a cohesive and well-rounded speech that showcases the best of both your writing and delivery styles.

Share duties

Sharing duties as joint best men can be a great way to ensure the groom's big day goes off without a hitch. Here are some tips to help you divide and conquer:

Planning and Preparation:

Firstly, get together and reminisce about the groom—gather the evidence! Hunt for stories, especially the embarrassing ones, but also those that showcase his unique qualities. Look for a theme among these stories, such as the groom always getting into trouble or missing great opportunities. This theme will help bring your speech together.

Writing the Speech:

When it comes to writing, decide on a set of topics in advance. It could be the groom's quirky fashion sense, his love for fast cars, or his questionable music taste. Having a theme will help draw everything together. Then, decide who will write what. You can take turns writing paragraphs or allocate specific lines to each other. Remember, it's not a comedy routine; it's still a speech, so focus on the words on the page.

Delivery:

Rehearse together, and decide whether you want to go off-book or use prompt cards. Remember, even if one of you isn't speaking at a given moment, you should still be performing and reacting to the other's lines.

Other Duties:

Aside from the speech, best men also have other responsibilities. You can divide these between you, such as one managing the rings while the other takes charge of the toasts. You can also share duties related to the stag do and helping out on the wedding day with photos and marshalling people.

By sharing the duties, you can ensure the groom has a fantastic support system on his big day, and you'll create lasting memories together!

Make it personal

Making your joint best man speech personal is a great way to make it memorable. Here are some tips to achieve that:

Know Your Audience

The guests at the wedding will be from all walks of the groom's life, so be sure to tailor your speech to include everyone. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Instead, focus on stories and anecdotes that showcase the groom's personality and quirks. This way, everyone can recognise and relate to the person you're talking about.

Keep It Light-Hearted

While you want to make the speech personal, it's important to avoid controversial topics or offensive jokes. Keep the tone warm and friendly. Self-deprecating humour is a great way to make the speech personal and engaging without causing offence.

Share Meaningful Stories

Share stories that reveal the groom's character and life. These can be funny incidents or heartwarming moments that showcase his strengths and how he has impacted your life. For example, you could talk about a time when he supported you through a difficult time or a shared experience that strengthened your friendship.

Express Gratitude

Take the opportunity to express your gratitude to the groom for his friendship. Talk about how you met, the experiences you've shared, and the qualities that make him a great friend. Be sincere and heartfelt in your delivery. This will make your speech authentic and meaningful.

Include a Tribute to the Bride

While most of your speech will focus on the groom, don't forget to include a tribute to the bride. Mention how happy she makes the groom and how they complement each other. This will add a touch of romance and show that you recognise the importance of their relationship.

Use Appropriate Quotes

Ending your speech with a quote can be a powerful way to summarise your thoughts and leave a lasting impression. Choose a quote that reflects the groom's personality or the nature of your friendship. It could be something funny or heartfelt, depending on the tone you want to convey.

Remember, the key to making your joint best man speech personal is to focus on the groom's unique qualities and your shared experiences. Be sincere, practise your delivery, and don't be afraid to add a touch of humour to keep the audience engaged.

Be funny

How to be funny in a joint best man speech

Being a best man is a daunting task, especially when you have to do it with someone else. You want to be funny, but not offensive, and you want to make the groom proud. Here are some tips to help you be funny in a joint best man speech:

Hunt for stories

Get together with your co-best man and reminisce about the groom. Gather all the funny, embarrassing stories you can think of, especially ones that show his quirks and flaws. For example, does he have T-Rex-sized arms or eat a burger with a knife and fork? These specific, unique traits will get a bigger laugh than saying he looks "a bit weird".

Find a theme

See if you can spot a theme among the stories. For example, does the groom easily get into trouble, or does he constantly miss amazing opportunities? A theme will help bring your speech together and make it more memorable.

Be insightful

As Homer Simpson wisely said, "It's funny 'cause it's true". Find the truth in the stories you've gathered. What are the groom's fundamental flaws, weird quirks, or unusual habits? Dissect his physical appearance, style, personality, abilities, and intellect. Be as specific as you can, and try to find the things that people will recognise as "him" but never thought to articulate.

Include some genuine tribute

Don't forget to include a warm-hearted tribute to the groom. Prove your points with anecdotes that show the groom's attributes in action. For example, if you're talking about how he's always late, tell the story about how he was late to his own wedding!

Structure your speech

Decide on a theme and structure for your speech. Will it be "The Bride's Guide to the Groom" or "A Groom's Guide to Being Husband Material"? Having a clear structure will make it easier to write your speech and will help the audience follow along.

Rehearse

Allocate a couple of sessions to rehearse together. Practise your ad-libs, shakes of the head, and well-timed eye-rolls. Remember, you're both on show throughout the speech, so even when you're not speaking, you should be performing.

Avoid alcohol before your speech

You might think it will make you funnier, but it won't! In fact, it's more likely to make you slur your words and forget what you wanted to say.

Laugh

People respond well to laughter. If you're having fun, the audience will too. Smile and laugh throughout your speech. Laugh at your co-best man's jokes, and if you fluff a line, just laugh it off!

Keep it short

A standard best man speech should be around 8-10 minutes, but as a duo, you can go up to 12-13 minutes. Any longer and you risk losing the audience's attention.

Don't use inside jokes

While it's good to include some inside jokes, be careful not to exclude people. Provide context for any inside jokes or stories that only a few people will understand.

Be appropriate

While you want to be funny, it's important to keep your speech appropriate for all ages. Avoid dirty jokes and embarrassing secrets. You don't want to offend anyone or make the bride or groom uncomfortable.

Practice your delivery

Practise your speech in front of a mirror or with friends and family. Record yourself to see how you look and sound. Work on your body language and eliminate any nervous tics like fidgeting.

Be confident

Stand straight, keep your hands visible and natural, and use gestures sparingly. Scan the room and make eye contact with the audience. Remember to connect with key people like the couple and their parents.

Edit your speech

Your first draft is never your best draft. Edit and refine your speech for clarity and flow. Cut out any stories or jokes that don't land or that take too long to explain.

Look at the audience

Don't stare at your notes the whole time. Make eye contact with the audience and connect with them.

Use props sparingly

Props can be fun, but they can also make your speech feel disjointed and less effective. If you do use props, make sure one of you is in charge of organising them and make sure they're not too distracting or complicated.

Be yourself

Don't try to be a stand-up comedian if that's not your style. The most memorable speeches incorporate personal stories, inside jokes, and genuine emotions.

Good luck with your joint best man speech!

Frequently asked questions