Navigating Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Dividing Guest Lists

Wedding invitation assembly can be a confusing and time-consuming process, but it doesn't have to be stressful. The first step is to gather all the pieces of your invitation suite, which typically includes the invitation card, reception card, response card, and any enclosure cards such as maps or accommodation details. You'll also need envelopes, and may want to include adornments like tissue paper, belly bands, or wax seals. Once you have all your pieces, you can start assembling your invitations by placing them in the correct order, usually with the invitation card on the bottom, followed by any other cards in size order, and finally the response envelope and card. After your invitations are assembled, you'll need to calculate the correct postage, address your envelopes, and send your invitations out to your guests.

Invitation assembly order

The first step in assembling your wedding invitations is to gather all the pieces that will be included in your invitation suite. This includes the invitation itself, any enclosure cards, additional envelopes, and adornments like belly bands, vellum or tissue paper overlays, ribbons, and wax seals.

Once you have all the necessary pieces, you can start assembling your invitations following these steps:

• Start with the invitation: Place the invitation card face up on the table. This is usually the largest card in the suite.
• Layer on tissue paper or a vellum overlay (optional): If you have chosen to include a sheet of tissue paper or a vellum overlay, place it on top of the invitation card. Traditionally, this was used to prevent smudging, but it is now more of a stylistic choice.
• Add the reception card: If you are including a separate reception card, place it face-up on top of the invitation (or tissue paper/vellum, if used). This card includes the time and location of the wedding reception and any other relevant information such as the dress code.
• Include other enclosure cards: Place any remaining enclosure cards, such as a map, hotel accommodations, or travel information cards, face up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards, start with the largest and work your way down to the smallest.
• Don't forget the RSVP card: Place the RSVP envelope face down on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left. Insert the reply card under the envelope flap, face up, so that the printed side is visible. Pre-address and stamp the RSVP envelope to make it easier for your guests to respond.
• Assemble the invitation suite: At this point, you have assembled all the individual pieces of the invitation. If you are using two envelopes (an inner and outer envelope), insert the fully assembled suite into the inner envelope, following the same guidelines as for the outer envelope (see below). Then, place the inner envelope into the outer envelope.
• Insert the invitation suite into the envelope: If you are using a single envelope or have already inserted the invitation suite into the inner envelope, it's now time to place it into the outer envelope. Insert the fully assembled suite into the envelope with the left edge going in first for a single card invitation or the folded edge first for a folded invitation. Ensure that the text is print-side up, so guests can immediately see it when they open the envelope.
• Seal the envelope: Use an envelope moistener or a wax seal to seal the outer envelope. If using a wax seal, expose the adhesive on the back before placing it on the envelope.
• Add the return address: Apply address labels, rubber stamps, or skinny wraps to the envelope to ensure any returned invitations make their way back to you.
• Calculate postage and mail: Take a fully assembled invitation to the post office to weigh and confirm the correct amount of postage needed. You may also want to send a test invitation to ensure it arrives without any issues.

Additional tips:

• Create an assembly line: To speed up the process, set up an assembly line with all the necessary pieces laid out in neat piles. You can also turn this into a fun activity by putting on some music and enjoying a glass of wine (kept away from the invitations, of course!)!
• Proofread and confirm guest names: Before assembling and stuffing your envelopes, carefully proofread your invitations for any errors and confirm that your guests' names are spelled correctly on the envelopes.
• Add embellishments: Consider adding belly bands, vellum jackets, wax seals, or silk ribbons to enhance the presentation of your invitations.
• Double envelopes: Using both inner and outer envelopes is more formal and traditional. The inner envelope holds the invitation suite and lists the names of the invited guests, while the outer envelope is used for mailing.
• Envelope liners: If you are using envelope liners, slide them into the envelope before inserting the invitation suite.
• Timing: Plan to assemble your invitations at least a week before you intend to mail them, as the process can be more time-consuming than expected, especially with added embellishments.

Envelopes

Types of Envelopes

There are two main types of envelopes for wedding invitations: single envelopes and double envelopes. Single envelopes consist of one invitation envelope and one response card envelope. The names of all invited guests, the mailing address, and the return address should be placed on the front and flap of the envelope, respectively. Double envelopes, on the other hand, include an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is for mailing and should list the household name and address, while the inner envelope holds the invitation suite and lists the names of each guest. Double envelopes are more formal and traditional, providing an additional layer of protection for your invitations during mailing.

Assembling the Envelopes

When assembling your envelopes, it's important to follow the correct order. For single envelopes, place the invitation (printed side up) inside, followed by any enclosure cards (such as reception details, accommodation information, or maps). Then, add the response envelope (printed side down) with the flap on the right side, and insert the response card under the flap (printed side up). For double envelopes, follow the same stacking order but place the assembled suite into the inner envelope first, before inserting it into the outer envelope.

Addressing the Envelopes

You can address your envelopes by hand using calligraphy or print the names and addresses directly on them. If using calligraphy, leave enough time in case there are errors and you need to make corrections. Be sure to confirm the spelling of your guests' names and addresses to avoid any mistakes. It's also important to follow proper etiquette when addressing envelopes, such as including the correct titles and honourifics.

Envelope Liners

Envelope liners can add a touch of elegance to your invitations. If using slip-in envelope liners, peel off the adhesive strip, slide the liner into the envelope, and press firmly to secure it in place. For foil-lined envelopes, no assembly is required as they come pre-assembled.

Postage and Mailing

Before mailing your invitations, calculate the correct amount of postage required by taking a fully assembled and stuffed envelope to the post office to be weighed. Send out your invitations early, ideally 4-6 weeks ahead of your wedding celebration. This gives your guests enough time to make travel arrangements and RSVP.

Invitation wording

The wording of your wedding invitations is an important part of the process. While you can choose to keep the wording classic, creative, whimsical, or casual, there are some basic elements that should be included no matter what. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you craft the perfect invitation:

• The request to come to the wedding: There are several ways to ask for the pleasure of your guests' company. Some options include "the pleasure of your company", "at the marriage of their children", "would love for you to join them", "invite you to celebrate with them", or "honour of your presence". The British spelling of "honour" traditionally indicates that the ceremony will be held in a church or another house of worship.
• Names of the couple: Traditionally, the bride's name always precedes the groom's name. For same-sex couples, there is no set rule, and you can choose the order that sounds better or go in alphabetical order.
• Hosts of the wedding: Traditionally, the bride's parents are listed as hosts at the top of the invitation. However, including the names of both sets of parents is a gracious option. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves or with their parents, you can use wording such as "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."
• Including deceased or divorced parents: If you want to include the name of a deceased parent, you'll need to rearrange the wording. For example: "Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence..." If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include all of them, keep each parent on a separate line. If you're including a stepparent, keep them on the same line as their partner.
• Date and time of the wedding: For formal weddings, spell out the date and time in full (e.g., "Saturday, the fifth of May, two thousand seventeen at one o'clock in the afternoon"). For casual weddings, numerals are fine. The year is optional, and the use of a.m. or p.m. is also optional.
• Location of the wedding: Include the name of the venue and the city and state in full. The street address is usually not needed unless omitting it would lead to confusion or if the wedding is taking place at the host's home.
• Reception information: For very formal invitations, include this information on a separate card. Otherwise, it can be printed on the invitation itself if there is room. If the ceremony and reception are in the same location, you can write "and afterward at the reception" or "reception immediately following". Include the time if the reception is not immediately after the ceremony.
• Dress code: Wedding invitation etiquette dictates that the dress code should be included in the lower right corner of the invitation. If no dress code is mentioned, the invitation itself will indicate the expected attire, with a very fancy invitation suggesting a formal, black-tie affair, and a simpler invitation indicating a more casual dress code.
• RSVP information: Most couples include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return by mail. Alternatively, you can have guests RSVP via your wedding website. Include the website address on a separate card and indicate that guests can confirm their attendance there.

"With great pleasure, Stacey Bullington and Peter Cunningham invite you to join them at the celebration of their marriage. Saturday, July 9, 2016, at two thirty in the afternoon, Santa Barbara Courthouse - Mural Room, Santa Barbara, California. Dinner and dancing to follow at Casa de la Guerra."

"Isaac and Allison, with family and friends, we invite you to celebrate our wedding day. April 11th, 2021, at 6 pm, San Jose del Cabo, Mexico. Reception to follow."

"Grace and Russell Fitzpatrick are gettin' hitched! August 4th, 2016. Join us at 5 o'clock, The West Palm, 825 Oceanside Ave, St. Petersburg. Merriment to follow."

Invitation adornments

Adornments and embellishments can elevate your wedding invitations and make them stand out. Here are some ideas to adorn your wedding invitations and give them a luxurious and elegant feel:

Gold Foil Details:

Gold foil is an affordable and elegant way to add a touch of luxury to your invitations. You can add foiling to the borders, or scatter it across the invitation for a sparse and unique look. Gold foil is a great way to add a sophisticated shine to your invitations without breaking the bank.

Laser Cut Details:

Laser-cut invitations are a unique and intricate way to impress your guests. The delicate details and cut-outs create a wow factor that will leave a lasting impression. Combine laser-cut elements with timeless embossing techniques for a truly special invitation.

Foil-Pressed Invitations:

For a more subtle shine, consider foil-pressed invitations. This technique adds a touch of elegance and can be used to highlight certain elements, such as your names or the wedding date. Foil-pressed invitations offer a more understated shine compared to gold foil, giving your invitations a classy and refined look.

Letterpress and Embossing:

Letterpress and embossing techniques add a tactile and visual element to your invitations. Letterpress creates a beautiful, indented impression, while embossing raises the design for a three-dimensional effect. Combining these techniques with foil stamping can create a truly stunning invitation that your guests will adore.

Vellum Invitation Jackets:

Wrapping your invitations in vellum jackets adds a touch of elegance and sophistication. These translucent cases give your invitations a professional and polished look, making them stand out. Pre-folded vellum jackets save you time and effort, ensuring a seamless finish.

Floral Wax Seals:

Instead of using traditional envelope seals, opt for floral wax seals. You can use dried blooms or botanical leaves to adorn the wax, creating a natural and whimsical feel. Floral wax seals add a unique and romantic touch to your invitations, teasing the beauty of your wedding day.

Postage

When it comes to postage for your wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, wedding invitations are typically heavier than a standard letter due to the multiple enclosure cards, so a standard stamp may not be enough. It's important to take a fully assembled and stuffed envelope to the post office to get it weighed so you can determine the correct amount of postage needed. This will ensure that you don't underpay, which could cause issues with delivery.

Another thing to consider is the use of inner and outer envelopes. While it's not necessary to have two envelopes, it is a more formal and traditional approach. The outer envelope is used for mailing and includes the guests' names and address. The inner envelope holds the invitation suite and lists the names of the guests invited to the wedding, eliminating any confusion. Using double envelopes adds a layer of protection for your invitations during mailing, ensuring they arrive in pristine condition.

To save time and effort, consider pre-addressing and stamping the response envelopes for your guests. This makes it easier for your guests to respond and increases the likelihood of receiving those RSVPs in a timely manner.

Finally, if you're adding any extras to your invitations, such as wax seals, ribbons, or belly bands, be sure to calculate the additional weight when determining postage. These extras can add up, so it's crucial to get an accurate weight to avoid any delivery issues.

Remember, it's always better to slightly overestimate the postage than to risk underpaying and having your invitations returned or delayed.

Frequently asked questions