Managing Long-Distance Bridesmaids: Tips For Smooth Planning

Being a bridesmaid is a big enough job when you live near the bride, but what happens when you're far away? Long-distance bridesmaids can still be involved in the wedding planning process and feel included in the lead-up to the wedding. Here are some ways to make sure your long-distance bridesmaids feel part of the special day.

Communicate your availability and budget early on

When you're a long-distance bridesmaid, it's important to communicate your availability and budget early on. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Be honest and realistic:

It's essential to be upfront about your limitations. Assure the bride that you'll support her, but also be clear about the limited time you can offer. Let her know how many times you can travel and when, and ask her to prioritise the events she wants you to attend. Figure this out early, as you'll not only get better airfares but also avoid over-committing.

Get on the same page:

Discuss realistic expectations regarding budget, planning, and scheduling as early as possible. Be open about what you can and can't do, and what you are and aren't comfortable with. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or assumptions down the line.

Talk about the timeline:

From dress fittings to vendor meetings, the bride may want you to be there in person. Think about your schedule and budget, and communicate your availability as soon as possible. This will help manage her expectations and ensure she knows what to expect.

Make the most of technology:

Utilise tools like Pinterest, Instagram, and shared inspiration boards to stay involved and offer ideas. This way, you can still feel included and provide support from a distance.

Stay connected:

Schedule regular phone or video calls specifically to discuss wedding plans and catch up. This ensures you stay connected and can efficiently review to-do lists and address any concerns. It's also a great way to maintain your long-distance friendship outside of the wedding planning.

Be punctual with your commitments:

If you can't join the other bridesmaids in person, make sure to take care of your responsibilities independently and promptly. For example, order your dress on time to avoid any last-minute panics.

Remember, open and timely communication is key to successfully navigating your long-distance bridesmaid duties. Be honest, stay connected, and make the most of technology to support the bride and ensure a smooth wedding planning process.

Share ideas and inspiration online

Sharing ideas and inspiration online is a great way to involve long-distance bridesmaids in the planning process and make them feel included. Here are some tips to achieve this:

Utilize Online Tools

Use online tools such as Loverly, Instagram, and Pinterest to create and share ideas on inspiration boards. This way, the bride and bridesmaids can easily collaborate and bounce ideas off each other, even from a distance. These platforms are perfect for collecting and organizing visual inspiration for the wedding.

Regular Virtual Meetings

Schedule regular virtual meetings, whether it's a simple phone call or a video chat, to specifically discuss wedding plans and ideas. This ensures that everyone is on the same page and allows the long-distance bridesmaids to feel involved and up-to-date with the planning process. It's also a great opportunity to catch up on each other's lives and strengthen the bond.

Share Inspiration Behind Choices

While sharing ideas for dresses, decorations, or other wedding elements, take the time to explain the inspiration behind your choices. This helps long-distance bridesmaids understand your vision and can make them feel more connected to the planning process. They can also provide valuable input and suggestions based on your inspiration.

Create a Private Group

Consider creating a private Facebook group or another similar platform where all the bridesmaids can connect and communicate. This allows long-distance bridesmaids to get to know each other and feel included in the group. It also provides a space for them to discuss ideas, share inspiration, and plan any pre-wedding activities or events.

Focus on Shared Interests

Apart from wedding planning, maintain your connection with long-distance bridesmaids by focusing on shared interests. For example, if you both love reading, start a book club and set aside time to discuss the books you've read. This helps to strengthen your bond and provides a space to connect beyond just wedding planning.

Remember, while sharing ideas and inspiration online is important, it's also crucial to have open and honest conversations about expectations, budgets, and scheduling. This will ensure that everyone is on the same page and prevent any misunderstandings or conflicts down the road.

Schedule regular phone or video calls

Regular phone or video calls are a great way to stay connected with long-distance bridesmaids and ensure they feel involved in the wedding planning process. Here are some tips to make the most of these virtual catch-ups:

Schedule Regular Calls

It is important to set a consistent schedule for your calls. This could be weekly, bi-weekly, or at a frequency that works for everyone involved. Setting a regular time ensures that everyone can plan around it and makes it a priority. It also helps to create a sense of routine and can be something fun to look forward to. During these calls, you can discuss wedding plans, but also catch up on each other's lives, strengthening your bond and ensuring the conversation isn't solely focused on the wedding.

Keep an Agenda

While it is good to have a flexible and flowing conversation, it can be helpful to keep an agenda to ensure all important topics are covered. This is especially useful if there are a lot of bridesmaids involved, as it gives everyone a chance to share their thoughts and ensures that no one dominates the conversation. It can include a rundown of topics, from dress fittings and vendor meetings to more general wedding ideas and inspiration.

Utilise Technology

There are numerous ways to stay connected, from traditional phone calls to video calls via Skype, Zoom, or similar platforms. You can also utilise inspiration technology, such as Loverly, Instagram, and Pinterest, to create and share ideas. This can be a fun way to involve your bridesmaids in the planning process and make them feel valued.

Be Punctual and Prepared

Ensure that you are punctual for these calls and prepared with any relevant updates or questions. This shows your commitment to the process and helps to keep everyone on track. It is also beneficial to be mindful of everyone's time and stick to the agreed-upon duration for the call, especially if people are calling in from different time zones.

Assign Tasks

These regular calls are a great opportunity to delegate tasks and ensure everyone knows their role. It is a good idea to summarise tasks and next steps at the end of each call so that everyone is clear on their responsibilities and what is expected of them before the next call.

Encourage Open Communication

Finally, encourage an open and honest dialogue during these calls. It is important that everyone feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and ideas. This will help to create a positive and supportive environment, ensuring that all bridesmaids, regardless of their location, feel valued and included.

Send gifts or cards to show you're thinking of them

Sending gifts or cards to your long-distance bridesmaids is a great way to show them you're thinking of them and that they're still an important part of your wedding plans, despite the distance. Here are some ideas to show your appreciation:

Gifts

• A card with a heartfelt message. You can include a favourite photo of the two of you or a funny quote related to bridesmaids or weddings.
• A "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" proposal gift box. You can fill it with goodies like a mini bottle of champagne, chocolates, scented candles, or personalised items like a mug, notebook, or cosmetic bag.
• Something related to self-care, like a scented bath bomb, a silk sleep mask, or a set of press-on nails.
• A piece of jewellery, like a bracelet, earrings, or a necklace with their initials.
• A silk robe with their name embroidered on it, which they can wear while getting ready on the wedding day.
• A bouquet of flowers or a potted plant.
• A bottle of their favourite wine or champagne, with a personalised label.
• A gift card so they can treat themselves to something nice.

Cards

• If you're crafty, you can make your own card with a personalised illustration of you and your bridesmaid. Include details like hair colour and style, skin tone, and accessories.
• Include a secret message in the card, like a scratch-off or a wax seal.
• Send a funny card that plays on the idea of a wedding proposal, like "You'd Look Good in a Frock" or "Now Act Surprised".
• Use a card with elegant calligraphy and a simple, direct message, especially if you know your bridesmaid is expecting the question.

Be punctual with dress orders

Being punctual with your dress order is one of the most important aspects of being a long-distance bridesmaid. Here are some tips to ensure you don't delay this crucial part of the process:

Discuss the Timeline Early On

As soon as you accept the role of a long-distance bridesmaid, talk to the bride about the timeline for dress fittings and purchases. Be open about your budget and schedule, and decide together if and when you need to be physically present for these events. This conversation will help manage expectations and reduce stress for both parties.

Order the Dress on Time

It is essential to place your dress order promptly to avoid any last-minute panics. Dresses typically take between two and three months to arrive, and you need to allow time for alterations. If the bride has chosen a specific colour or fabric, ensure you order your dress at the same time as the other bridesmaids to guarantee an exact match.

Take Your Measurements

If you can't visit a tailor or dry cleaner to get professionally measured, many online companies provide videos instructing you on how to take your measurements accurately. This will ensure your dress fits well and makes you feel comfortable and confident on the big day.

Order Shoes and Undergarments in Advance

Don't forget to order the appropriate shoes and undergarments for the dress. These items are usually required for the first fitting, which is typically scheduled four to six weeks after the dress order. For a strapless neckline, be sure to invest in a strapless bra.

Plan to Arrive Early

Aim to arrive at the wedding destination a few days before the ceremony. This will give you a buffer if there are any unexpected delays with your dress and allow you to help the bride with any last-minute details.

Keep Communication Open

Throughout the process, maintain open and honest communication with the bride and other bridesmaids. Let them know about any challenges you're facing due to the distance, and be responsive to their emails and messages. This will ensure everyone is on the same page and reduce the chances of misunderstandings.

Frequently asked questions