Lyla Dejesus
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Bridesmaids are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning, and be available to the bride on the wedding day and the weekend leading up to it. They are also often expected to pay for their own travel, accommodation, attire, and gifts for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. While the extent of their involvement in wedding planning may vary depending on the couple and the wedding, bridesmaids generally play a crucial role in supporting the bride and ensuring that everything runs smoothly on the big day.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Pre-wedding | Plan the hen party, create a WhatsApp group with the bride and bridesmaids, check in with the couple regularly, visit the wedding venue, meet the wedding coordinator, help with wedding DIY sessions, be available for wedding dress shopping and fittings, listen to wedding planning woes, book pre-wedding pampering, make sure your room is booked, attend the rehearsal dinner |
| Wedding day | Take a couple of days off before the wedding, attend beauty appointments, help with transport, last-minute errands and wedding set-up, help the bride to pack, prep an on-the-day emergency kit, get a copy of the wedding timeline and familiarise yourself with it, help keep the atmosphere upbeat, make sure the bride eats, ensure hair and makeup are running on time, introduce yourself to key people, field any questions from guests and suppliers, help the bride into her dress and with shoes and jewellery, help her in and out of cars, fix her dress and veil, take her bouquet for the ceremony, arrange for cans or a 'Just Married' sign, help round up family members for photos, pay suppliers, carry an emergency kit, assist the bride when going to the bathroom, keep the bride hydrated and fed, assist with little members of the bridal party, make a speech, encourage guests to sign the guestbook or visit the photo booth, help the bride into her second dress, be first on the dance floor, arrange for candles, rose petals and bubbly in the bridal suite, help with any send-off, take the wedding bouquet and put it in water, tip staff, help the bride out of her dress |
| Post-wedding | Make an effort to be down for breakfast with the couple, collect any cards from the venue's safe, ensure any flowers and decor are packed and moved, box up keepsakes, offer to do the bride's hair and makeup for day two celebrations, attend the farewell party, organise miscellaneous or leftover wedding items, settle outstanding payments |
What You'll Learn
Emotional support
- Check in with the bride regularly and ask what she needs.
- Listen to any wedding planning woes and be supportive and enthusiastic.
- Help to keep the bride calm and relaxed, especially on the wedding day.
- Be available to attend dress appointments and offer your opinion to help the bride choose her attire.
- Keep the atmosphere light and upbeat when getting ready on the wedding day.
- Make sure the bride eats and stays hydrated.
- Assist with any tasks, such as answering incoming calls or texts, so that the bride can focus on enjoying her day.
- Help with any pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
- Be present at the rehearsal dinner and offer support during the final moments of preparation before the big day.
- Assist with any wedding planning tasks, such as addressing invitations or helping with DIY projects.
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Help with pre-wedding events
Bridesmaids are expected to help with pre-wedding events, including the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. Here are some ways they can help:
Planning and Paying
The maid of honour will typically take the lead in planning and paying for pre-wedding events, but bridesmaids should be prepared to lend a hand and contribute financially. This may involve chipping in for decorations, food, drinks, and the bride's expenses. Bridesmaids can also help with various planning tasks, such as making reservations, creating a detailed itinerary, and sending out invitations.
Attending Pre-Wedding Events
Bridesmaids are expected to attend pre-wedding events like the engagement party, wedding shower, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. They should also be present for wedding-weekend events and may be asked to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner.
Emotional Support
It is important for bridesmaids to provide emotional support to the bride throughout the planning process. This includes being there for the bride during moments of tension and helping to calm pre-wedding jitters.
Practical Support
Bridesmaids can offer practical support by running errands, helping with wedding DIY projects, and assisting with the bride's attire choices. They can also keep a record of gifts received at events to make writing thank-you cards easier for the bride.
Communication
Bridesmaids should maintain open communication with the bride, wedding planner, and other members of the bridal party. This includes checking in with the bride regularly, being responsive to her needs, and keeping a positive attitude to avoid unnecessary drama.
Other Tasks
Other tasks that bridesmaids can help with include:
- Greeting and ushering guests at the wedding ceremony
- Coordinating communications with vendors and guests on the day of the wedding
- Helping the bride get ready on the morning of the wedding, including checking her hair and veil
- Assisting with decorating at events and the reception venue
- Organising wedding gifts and keeping them in a safe place
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Wedding attire
One of the first things a bridesmaid will do is choose her wedding-day outfit. The couple will usually give guidelines about what to wear, and you might even go shopping as a group with the other bridesmaids. Whether you're wearing matching dresses or choosing your own attire, it's best to get this done early in case alterations are needed.
Traditionally, bridesmaids wear dresses, but jumpsuits are a chic and modern option too. Dresses can be long or short, knee-length or midi, and any colour, fabric, and silhouette. If you're wearing a dress, remember to consider the type of neckline or straps you prefer. Spaghetti straps are the most popular choice, but off-the-shoulder sleeves and cap sleeves are also common.
If you're wearing a dress, you'll need to decide on the fabric. Smooth satin, romantic lace, and whimsical tulle are all popular options. You'll also need to take measurements for your bust, hips, and waist, as well as your height so you can get the right dress length.
The style of the bridesmaids' attire should complement the theme of the wedding. For example, a rustic wedding might call for earth tones, while a winter wedding might feature velvet fabric and deep jewel tones.
It's customary for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses and alterations, so before committing to the role, make sure you're comfortable with the cost.
If the bride is open to input, you can also offer suggestions for the bridesmaids' hair and makeup.
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Wedding planning tasks
Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of responsibilities and duties. Here is a comprehensive list of tasks that a bridesmaid should expect to undertake:
Pre-Wedding Tasks:
- Plan and pay for pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
- Book travel and hotel reservations for the wedding.
- Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
- Offer emotional support to the bride and be there for her throughout the planning process.
- Help with smaller wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetizing escort cards, or easy DIY projects.
- Purchase a wedding gift for the couple.
- Shop for and pay for bridesmaid attire, including dresses, jewellery, and shoes.
- Attend any other pre-wedding events, such as engagement parties or couples' showers.
- Be communicative and honest about your responsibilities and financial capabilities.
- Offer to help with the bride's wedding dress shopping appointments and provide support and positive feedback.
- If possible, give the bride a simple engagement gift, such as a bottle of bubbly or a bouquet of flowers.
Wedding Day Tasks:
- Get ready with the bride and help her stay calm, collected, and hydrated.
- Assist the maid of honour with any tasks she may need help with.
- Provide snacks and drinks for the bridal party while they get ready.
- Act as a point of contact for guests and vendors if needed.
- Participate in the wedding ceremony and be respectful and mindful of the planner, officiant, and other key individuals.
- Be prepared for photographs and stick with the bridal party to make the process quicker and more efficient.
- Mingle with guests, participate in guest activities, and be the life of the party!
- Help assemble any items that need to be transported out of the reception venue, such as decor, gifts, cards, and leftover food.
- Ensure that all guests leave the venue safely and direct them to their cars or shuttle buses.
- Distribute tip envelopes to the vendors.
- Make sure the bride and groom's overnight bags are in their wedding night hotel room.
- Organise guests for the after-party, if there is one.
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Gifts
Gifting your bridesmaids is not mandatory, but it is a thoughtful way to thank them for their time and financial contributions to your wedding. It is recommended to spend between $50 to $150 per bridesmaid, depending on your budget and the number of bridesmaids. Here are some ideas for gifts:
- Personalized items such as jewellery, champagne flutes, tumblers, or robes.
- Beauty products like lip gloss or eyeshadow palettes.
- Relaxation kits or homemade treats.
- Gift cards to their favourite stores or coffee shops.
- Experiences such as a spa voucher or tickets to a show.
- Covering or subsidizing their wedding-related expenses, such as hair and makeup, dresses, or accommodations.
- Small tokens like earrings, candles, or personalized hangers.
- A handwritten thank-you card is always appreciated and can be included with any gift.
- For the maid of honour, consider spending a little extra or giving a separate, private gift as they often take on more responsibilities.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, traditionally, bridesmaids are expected to cover the cost of their own travel and accommodation for the wedding. It's a good idea to book these early to avoid any last-minute surprises.
On the wedding day, bridesmaids are expected to help ensure everything goes smoothly for the bride and the rest of the wedding party. This includes getting ready with the bride, assisting the maid of honour, providing snacks and drinks, participating in the ceremony, and being model guests.
Yes, bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own dresses, jewellery, and shoes. However, the bride may have a specific vision for what she wants her bridesmaids to wear, and may request that they all wear the same dress.
